Yesterday, someone prayed for me that, like a butterfly, I would carry God's beauty wherever I went.
Sounds a bit fluffy for me, I thought.
Worship this morning:
Jesus, We Celebrate Your Victory
Crown Him with many Crowns
I Will Offer up my Life (Thankful Heart)
Jesus Shall Take the Highest Honour - the "chorus" only, drifting to...
Isn't He Beautiful - drifting back to the chorus of the former, and I added the cherry of..
I Sing Praises to Your Name
During prayer, it came out that I had blessed someone that morning - the guy who had come to open up! My "warm-up" this morning was Rugged Cross (I tend to pick something at random, usually not something that's part of the main worship) - I was told that he had been touched by it and a seed had been planted and during the message I remembered..
..oh yes...the butterfly....
Some clarity has come at long last. I need to finish the transition, and that's a butterfly analogy in itself. I may have been seeing into another season - and I need to be ready for it first.
Somebody mentioned how tired I looked this morning, but encouraged me in the worship saying it was better than if I had been fresh - God's like that. He gives you the energy even when you're ready to go back to bed.
Sunday 30 September 2012
Friday 28 September 2012
A day in the life
Yesterday is a day for storing up in my heart. It was very very special. I always knew it was going to be - I just didn't totally appreciate my part in it.
It was an event I know that I will be asked to do again, gosh I loved the experience but mate am I tired today. I was asked to lead worship before each of the three sessions, and do one or two choruses after each of the sessions, so 6 in total.
I didn't do all I wanted to do, and one or two of the "rank outsiders" got an outing. I was sorry that there didn't seem to be a place for Fellingham's "There is a day", but I did do "Bless the Lord O My Soul (10,000 reasons)" (I should point out, on the cards even before it turned up on Kingsway this week) - this for the first time for me (and without the thump-thump-thump, promise you it does work without), and also a beautiful worship chorus called "Ruach" - not so well known, but was appreciated.
The cong were so encouraging, loving everything even when it seemed that some choruses weren't as well known as I thought.
I need to get hold of the CD recordings of the speaker because it really wasn't sinking in properly - there were one or two things I picked up on, and I was prayed for after I finished my duties, but it would be good to listen to it all again and let the gospel sink in...and reminisce on the annointing...
Something special has happened, with me, over the last couple months, ever since stuff started going a bit pear shaped in early July. Yesterday, I finally understood how much I had matured, and how important my calling is.
I cried out for some clarity as to my direction yesterday, I didn't seem to get an answer. Maybe I'm just not ready for it. Maybe I need a Word spoken over me that is the starting gun...
I'm going to bask a little, pray a little, get ready for tonight and tomorrow for an event that, for once, I'm not involved in ministry in any way, I can just enjoy the fellowship and food - physical and spiritual top up.
It was an event I know that I will be asked to do again, gosh I loved the experience but mate am I tired today. I was asked to lead worship before each of the three sessions, and do one or two choruses after each of the sessions, so 6 in total.
I didn't do all I wanted to do, and one or two of the "rank outsiders" got an outing. I was sorry that there didn't seem to be a place for Fellingham's "There is a day", but I did do "Bless the Lord O My Soul (10,000 reasons)" (I should point out, on the cards even before it turned up on Kingsway this week) - this for the first time for me (and without the thump-thump-thump, promise you it does work without), and also a beautiful worship chorus called "Ruach" - not so well known, but was appreciated.
The cong were so encouraging, loving everything even when it seemed that some choruses weren't as well known as I thought.
I need to get hold of the CD recordings of the speaker because it really wasn't sinking in properly - there were one or two things I picked up on, and I was prayed for after I finished my duties, but it would be good to listen to it all again and let the gospel sink in...and reminisce on the annointing...
Something special has happened, with me, over the last couple months, ever since stuff started going a bit pear shaped in early July. Yesterday, I finally understood how much I had matured, and how important my calling is.
I cried out for some clarity as to my direction yesterday, I didn't seem to get an answer. Maybe I'm just not ready for it. Maybe I need a Word spoken over me that is the starting gun...
I'm going to bask a little, pray a little, get ready for tonight and tomorrow for an event that, for once, I'm not involved in ministry in any way, I can just enjoy the fellowship and food - physical and spiritual top up.
Wednesday 26 September 2012
Preparation
A pretty important shindig tomorrow at which I will be leading worship alone - probably 3 short sessions throughout the day.
It's difficult to sort out how I feel about it - I've been looking forward to it for months, but I now seem to be suffering a mixture of stress, nerves, uncertainty and excitement. Someone should make up a word for such a mix.
I was getting close to panic at the weekend when I realised that 8 or 9 of the songs chosen I had never led before, and 5 or 6 of those I only knew a little. They have been born out of a couple of months of activity with Musescore and the like, searching for new stuff and recollecting old. Then, the other day, after a deep breath and a prayer or two, I removed 3 or 4 of them, added 3 or 4 I know standing on my head (but I won't try that tomorrow - maybe next year) and He came up with an awesome mix that almost had me slain in the bedroom where I was practicing. How does He do that?
2 of them at least I am new to leading, as I am on my own, this doesn't matter, I can let the cong help me a little. But they will be introduced into Sunday worship soon. Then there's one we did last Sunday which I have an inkling the speaker will want repeated. And another which I think has so much anointing it sizzles. This is the "excitement" part. If I say to the boss I'm nervous - he'll say "Good." - no help there! He believes that nerves help you give way to the true Boss of the day and I think he's right there.
Uncertainty? Well, this is an old enemy which I can't seem to shake, and I know I'll be back blogging here on Friday, Saturday or Sunday (busy weekend) saying that He had it under control. I don't need to worry about how I "perform". It isn't a performance. It's a duty. The uncertainty will go when I strike the first chord (an F as it happens, 3rd fret CAPO D...)
Stress? A wise man once said that life is fragile, handle with prayer. That doesn't mean I'm going to sleep tonight though.
I'm sad that a certain couple of friends can't be there, but happy that the sun is shining brightly after a couple of months of clouds. Which I really can't say for North Wales at the moment, I think we'll be dragging out the liferafts. At least the flooding is under control around my area, though I saw some shocking pictures last night.
I'm pretty much set. One practice session then I'm ready. Then pick the Sunday choruses. Then maybe the following Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Then nothing for about 3 weeks (maybe one, but low stress level), that is going to be ODD. I hope I don't waste this time of R&R and get a few things sorted, not only in my life, but also in my heart.
It's difficult to sort out how I feel about it - I've been looking forward to it for months, but I now seem to be suffering a mixture of stress, nerves, uncertainty and excitement. Someone should make up a word for such a mix.
I was getting close to panic at the weekend when I realised that 8 or 9 of the songs chosen I had never led before, and 5 or 6 of those I only knew a little. They have been born out of a couple of months of activity with Musescore and the like, searching for new stuff and recollecting old. Then, the other day, after a deep breath and a prayer or two, I removed 3 or 4 of them, added 3 or 4 I know standing on my head (but I won't try that tomorrow - maybe next year) and He came up with an awesome mix that almost had me slain in the bedroom where I was practicing. How does He do that?
2 of them at least I am new to leading, as I am on my own, this doesn't matter, I can let the cong help me a little. But they will be introduced into Sunday worship soon. Then there's one we did last Sunday which I have an inkling the speaker will want repeated. And another which I think has so much anointing it sizzles. This is the "excitement" part. If I say to the boss I'm nervous - he'll say "Good." - no help there! He believes that nerves help you give way to the true Boss of the day and I think he's right there.
Uncertainty? Well, this is an old enemy which I can't seem to shake, and I know I'll be back blogging here on Friday, Saturday or Sunday (busy weekend) saying that He had it under control. I don't need to worry about how I "perform". It isn't a performance. It's a duty. The uncertainty will go when I strike the first chord (an F as it happens, 3rd fret CAPO D...)
Stress? A wise man once said that life is fragile, handle with prayer. That doesn't mean I'm going to sleep tonight though.
I'm sad that a certain couple of friends can't be there, but happy that the sun is shining brightly after a couple of months of clouds. Which I really can't say for North Wales at the moment, I think we'll be dragging out the liferafts. At least the flooding is under control around my area, though I saw some shocking pictures last night.
I'm pretty much set. One practice session then I'm ready. Then pick the Sunday choruses. Then maybe the following Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Then nothing for about 3 weeks (maybe one, but low stress level), that is going to be ODD. I hope I don't waste this time of R&R and get a few things sorted, not only in my life, but also in my heart.
Tuesday 25 September 2012
Kingsway 25th September
Title: Bless the Lord O My Soul (10,000 reasons)
First Line: Bless the Lord O my soul
Artist: Newday Live 2011
Composer: Matt Redman, Jonas Myrin
Album: 10,000 Reasons
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: SOF5
My thoughts: Every so often an artist will release something that has such a huge "WOW" factor, you almost feel you should say to them - "Stop there for a bit. Ponder on what you've produced and come back in a year or so once you know it's really sunk in." - They often don't quit, and I sometimes wonder if it's to their detriment. After producing something spectacular, their output is often mediocre at best. Matt really has been up and down over the years, after releasing stuff that appealed to 90's yoof and older, and much of this has become standard Sunday fare in most charismatic churches, he went through a stage where a lot of his output was "hohum", then...this... Although I don't think this has the kerpow that "Father's Song" had, this is a return to the anointing we all know Matt has. I'm still unsure about that boom-boom-boom at the end of the third line in each verse (I think a drifting pause is best, Pink Floyd had one thing right at least - you don't necessarily have to have something occurring in a measure of music, silence is fine), and maybe the last verse does not have the same impact as the last verse of "Jesus! the name high over all" as is probably intended. Don't know what it is, but I might feel a little awkward leading this particular verse - maybe it's the average age of my cong! This song also has sentimental value for me - it was introduced into a N Wales group by a fellow foot soldier and I so hope that she comes back into action soon...
Kingsway have offered this before - a few months ago, but it was sheet music only. This time an mp3 has come with it - a fab Newday Live 2011 version and you can hear a wonderful peace descend upon the gathering whilst they are singing it. It really is a good version, so pick it up whilst you have the chance.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 2nd October inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: Bless the Lord O my soul
Artist: Newday Live 2011
Composer: Matt Redman, Jonas Myrin
Album: 10,000 Reasons
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: SOF5
My thoughts: Every so often an artist will release something that has such a huge "WOW" factor, you almost feel you should say to them - "Stop there for a bit. Ponder on what you've produced and come back in a year or so once you know it's really sunk in." - They often don't quit, and I sometimes wonder if it's to their detriment. After producing something spectacular, their output is often mediocre at best. Matt really has been up and down over the years, after releasing stuff that appealed to 90's yoof and older, and much of this has become standard Sunday fare in most charismatic churches, he went through a stage where a lot of his output was "hohum", then...this... Although I don't think this has the kerpow that "Father's Song" had, this is a return to the anointing we all know Matt has. I'm still unsure about that boom-boom-boom at the end of the third line in each verse (I think a drifting pause is best, Pink Floyd had one thing right at least - you don't necessarily have to have something occurring in a measure of music, silence is fine), and maybe the last verse does not have the same impact as the last verse of "Jesus! the name high over all" as is probably intended. Don't know what it is, but I might feel a little awkward leading this particular verse - maybe it's the average age of my cong! This song also has sentimental value for me - it was introduced into a N Wales group by a fellow foot soldier and I so hope that she comes back into action soon...
Kingsway have offered this before - a few months ago, but it was sheet music only. This time an mp3 has come with it - a fab Newday Live 2011 version and you can hear a wonderful peace descend upon the gathering whilst they are singing it. It really is a good version, so pick it up whilst you have the chance.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 2nd October inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Monday 24 September 2012
Shift
Something has definitely shifted.
What has shifted my attitude? Could it have been prayer? Kind words? Or maybe certain people are reacting differently after the summer, handling things in a more sensitive way?
I'm still looking for an open door. And yet....
And I did contact the missing, a short email that asked them for nothing and I will leave it at that.
After my panic of yesterday afternoon of lacking confidence for next Thursday, the Spirit was still upon me sorting through my chord sheet folder and I am down to just 4 to practice. I do need to pick Sunday's...but 2 of these are already provisionally chosen.
It just seemed to come together yesterday afternoon, even if the rest of my life didn't.
It makes you feel someOne is fully in charge. Praise God.
UPDATE: And I got a response. A good response. This makes me feel even more confident.
What has shifted my attitude? Could it have been prayer? Kind words? Or maybe certain people are reacting differently after the summer, handling things in a more sensitive way?
I'm still looking for an open door. And yet....
And I did contact the missing, a short email that asked them for nothing and I will leave it at that.
After my panic of yesterday afternoon of lacking confidence for next Thursday, the Spirit was still upon me sorting through my chord sheet folder and I am down to just 4 to practice. I do need to pick Sunday's...but 2 of these are already provisionally chosen.
It just seemed to come together yesterday afternoon, even if the rest of my life didn't.
It makes you feel someOne is fully in charge. Praise God.
UPDATE: And I got a response. A good response. This makes me feel even more confident.
Sunday 23 September 2012
Clouds
Worship this morning:
The King of Love
Open the Eyes of my Heart
There is a Higher Throne
Light of the World
Thank You for Saving Me
The theme of the message was the power of the cross, it seemed a little obvious, but during ministry I felt I just had to play
Oh to see the Dawn
And just...well....'cos...
Your Name, Higher than I Know
I rarely need an excuse to play that one.
One thing that struck me in the message was a mention of clouds, or at least a cloud, and I thought, yes, I can relate to that, where I feel fine, generally speaking, but I'm dogged by this feeling that things could be better. So many things I could have done, but clouds got in my way....This, despite some wonderfully encouraging words from a speaker I will see again next Thursday, and I will again be leading worship. I'm in for an incredibly busy week. I am actually looking forward to an event at the weekend, and, for once, I will not be involved in any of it, I will blissfully be part of the cong!
Someone missing today as well, I won't see them for over a month probably...this saddened me somewhat and got me wondering just what is going on in their heart. I have already decided to distance myself from the situation, as much as it hurts. I don't even know whether to get in contact with them.
And sad news from the one who is now alone in the world, despite the army of friends, they are just a crowd of faces to them...
Although I rarely practice Sunday afternoons, I will do today - I want to be at my best next Thursday, and keep a right frame of mind.
The King of Love
Open the Eyes of my Heart
There is a Higher Throne
Light of the World
Thank You for Saving Me
The theme of the message was the power of the cross, it seemed a little obvious, but during ministry I felt I just had to play
Oh to see the Dawn
And just...well....'cos...
Your Name, Higher than I Know
I rarely need an excuse to play that one.
One thing that struck me in the message was a mention of clouds, or at least a cloud, and I thought, yes, I can relate to that, where I feel fine, generally speaking, but I'm dogged by this feeling that things could be better. So many things I could have done, but clouds got in my way....This, despite some wonderfully encouraging words from a speaker I will see again next Thursday, and I will again be leading worship. I'm in for an incredibly busy week. I am actually looking forward to an event at the weekend, and, for once, I will not be involved in any of it, I will blissfully be part of the cong!
Someone missing today as well, I won't see them for over a month probably...this saddened me somewhat and got me wondering just what is going on in their heart. I have already decided to distance myself from the situation, as much as it hurts. I don't even know whether to get in contact with them.
And sad news from the one who is now alone in the world, despite the army of friends, they are just a crowd of faces to them...
Although I rarely practice Sunday afternoons, I will do today - I want to be at my best next Thursday, and keep a right frame of mind.
Saturday 22 September 2012
Detached
Now there's a word.
That word was said to me a few weeks ago by a new friend, who said they felt "detatched".
I know what they're on about, I can totally relate.
Everyone needs a bosom to run to. I feel a bit let down of late. No, not by God, absolutely not. Not by my SOH either who I know will be perfect in a crisis if this escalates. No, I feel let down by other mere mortals. I stretch out a hand, and it feels like it's ignored.
I was looking through my modern Anglican hymnbook - some might call the publication "eccentric", others "a bit PC focussed" - f'r'instance, it has "Onward Christian Pilgrims" rather than Soldiers. Hmm. Anyway, there were two hymns my eyes alighted upon "Good King Wenceslas" and a new one on me "Going Home" (which has now become a strong contender for my funeral hymn; every Christian seems to have one). One invites you to tread in Christ's footsteps, the other reminds you that "Christ has gone before"
Christ has gone before. What a fabulous reminder for those about to enter unknown territory. Like I might be.
In other news, I might actually be....sssshhh...nervous Still, Sunday morning will come and go, as will next Thursday. All I can do right now is pray.
That word was said to me a few weeks ago by a new friend, who said they felt "detatched".
I know what they're on about, I can totally relate.
Everyone needs a bosom to run to. I feel a bit let down of late. No, not by God, absolutely not. Not by my SOH either who I know will be perfect in a crisis if this escalates. No, I feel let down by other mere mortals. I stretch out a hand, and it feels like it's ignored.
I was looking through my modern Anglican hymnbook - some might call the publication "eccentric", others "a bit PC focussed" - f'r'instance, it has "Onward Christian Pilgrims" rather than Soldiers. Hmm. Anyway, there were two hymns my eyes alighted upon "Good King Wenceslas" and a new one on me "Going Home" (which has now become a strong contender for my funeral hymn; every Christian seems to have one). One invites you to tread in Christ's footsteps, the other reminds you that "Christ has gone before"
Christ has gone before. What a fabulous reminder for those about to enter unknown territory. Like I might be.
In other news, I might actually be....sssshhh...nervous Still, Sunday morning will come and go, as will next Thursday. All I can do right now is pray.
Tuesday 18 September 2012
Kingsway 18th September
Title: Over All
First Line: Higher than all the heavens
Artist: Tom Read
Composer: Tom Read, Nick Herbert
Album: Compass
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Too new
Popular sources: Too new
My thoughts: So a new one on me for a change, and a songwriter I hadn't heard of before now - to my shame I suspect if he's the Worship Central leader in Asia. I "read" the music first and then the Kingsway site went off sick for a bit (it's still a little peaky now) but I thought OK, lively one and looks a good future candidate for those times you want to get your cong a bit undignified. Just listened to it now I can access Kingsway and - hmm. He's got a good voice, and it is a good song, but I was finding the chorus just a little irritating. Maybe it's the format of the song which is very "80-fied" - don't get me wrong, love 80s music, but this actually sounds like one of those post 86 tracks when the best artists were running out of ideas and the new guys sounded plain awful. Tom I suspect has done a fair bit of this before, although this is his first UK release. I should try and get to hear snippets of the rest of the album before starting to judge really harshly - Kingsway are - quote - "more than a little excited" about the release of Compass, but I'm having difficulty. Perhaps I'm just a rebel.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 24th September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: Higher than all the heavens
Artist: Tom Read
Composer: Tom Read, Nick Herbert
Album: Compass
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Too new
Popular sources: Too new
My thoughts: So a new one on me for a change, and a songwriter I hadn't heard of before now - to my shame I suspect if he's the Worship Central leader in Asia. I "read" the music first and then the Kingsway site went off sick for a bit (it's still a little peaky now) but I thought OK, lively one and looks a good future candidate for those times you want to get your cong a bit undignified. Just listened to it now I can access Kingsway and - hmm. He's got a good voice, and it is a good song, but I was finding the chorus just a little irritating. Maybe it's the format of the song which is very "80-fied" - don't get me wrong, love 80s music, but this actually sounds like one of those post 86 tracks when the best artists were running out of ideas and the new guys sounded plain awful. Tom I suspect has done a fair bit of this before, although this is his first UK release. I should try and get to hear snippets of the rest of the album before starting to judge really harshly - Kingsway are - quote - "more than a little excited" about the release of Compass, but I'm having difficulty. Perhaps I'm just a rebel.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 24th September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Sunday 16 September 2012
Hope, Promises, Love
Worship this morning:
Tell Out my Soul
From the Breaking of the Dawn
Above All Powers
At the Cross
I Worship You, Almighty God
I will maintain and even improve upon all mortal relationships, for if a relationship moves into a different chapter, I want it to continue, even if it's from afar. What good is it to sour, you may need it later - and you could end up trying to use something very skanky indeed!
When I think that the next time the group could be properly together again, the clocks would have gone back and autumn will be moving into winter, it sorta saddens me, and my heart pangs as I really don't know what's going to happen "beyond", once plans laid are put into action. Yes, I have three more Sundays, a special day and possibly another Saturday as a "locum" (though several of us are praying that the permanent WL comes back, soon, for their spiritual health) - yet it feels like a gradual descent into a feather bed of rest, and yet in this bed I will have to also seek.
I feel so so tired, I'm not even halfway yet. I am happy - sort of - but I am a little fearful that my strength could give out, that I have taken on much too much against God's will.
I think I'll take it gradually at work tomorrow, I'm actually looking forward to it as I'll be seeing parts of a process as yet unseen.
I pray for my own spiritual clouded glass to clear soon. It is. Slowly. Maybe I'm afraid of what it might show.
Tell Out my Soul
From the Breaking of the Dawn
Above All Powers
At the Cross
I Worship You, Almighty God
I will maintain and even improve upon all mortal relationships, for if a relationship moves into a different chapter, I want it to continue, even if it's from afar. What good is it to sour, you may need it later - and you could end up trying to use something very skanky indeed!
When I think that the next time the group could be properly together again, the clocks would have gone back and autumn will be moving into winter, it sorta saddens me, and my heart pangs as I really don't know what's going to happen "beyond", once plans laid are put into action. Yes, I have three more Sundays, a special day and possibly another Saturday as a "locum" (though several of us are praying that the permanent WL comes back, soon, for their spiritual health) - yet it feels like a gradual descent into a feather bed of rest, and yet in this bed I will have to also seek.
I feel so so tired, I'm not even halfway yet. I am happy - sort of - but I am a little fearful that my strength could give out, that I have taken on much too much against God's will.
I think I'll take it gradually at work tomorrow, I'm actually looking forward to it as I'll be seeing parts of a process as yet unseen.
I pray for my own spiritual clouded glass to clear soon. It is. Slowly. Maybe I'm afraid of what it might show.
Saturday 15 September 2012
Courts of the King
Today was a Good Day.
It was a God Day.
It started with words of encouragement and really good worship in this sorta locum WL activity I've found myself in. Someone pointed out (and liked the fact) that it was made up of old choruses. But, my gosh, when 3 of them have them singing in tongues and you feel like an ocean wave you just know the Spirit is moving.
At the beginning of the proceedings someone reminded me that if it is just one on one, i.e. just me worshipping God - sobeit. Don't worry if not one person is joining in. Worship God. It wasn't until the 3rd verse of the second chorus that I started to settle, and worship.
Oh wow, it felt good today. It's the way worship should be - that I feel topped up, invigorated - and utterly exhausted. But to feel spiritually improved and tired is a good thing, believe me. I feel that I've given God 110%.
My spirit fervently prays that the person I'm "locum"ing for comes back soon. In fact, it would be best for them to be there as soon as possible - for their own spiritual health.
I am so going to enjoy this whilst it lasts though. Thank You. This has all come at exactly the right time.
It was a God Day.
It started with words of encouragement and really good worship in this sorta locum WL activity I've found myself in. Someone pointed out (and liked the fact) that it was made up of old choruses. But, my gosh, when 3 of them have them singing in tongues and you feel like an ocean wave you just know the Spirit is moving.
At the beginning of the proceedings someone reminded me that if it is just one on one, i.e. just me worshipping God - sobeit. Don't worry if not one person is joining in. Worship God. It wasn't until the 3rd verse of the second chorus that I started to settle, and worship.
Oh wow, it felt good today. It's the way worship should be - that I feel topped up, invigorated - and utterly exhausted. But to feel spiritually improved and tired is a good thing, believe me. I feel that I've given God 110%.
My spirit fervently prays that the person I'm "locum"ing for comes back soon. In fact, it would be best for them to be there as soon as possible - for their own spiritual health.
I am so going to enjoy this whilst it lasts though. Thank You. This has all come at exactly the right time.
Friday 14 September 2012
Careful
Careful...to be full of care, i.e. anxious, worried - looking at the original Greek the word in Php 4:6 is used to state any kind of worry elsewhere in the New Testament, but...
Careful also means cautiousness, or even over-cautiousness, the original word not being too far removed from its common usage today...
soooo....the sentence can also be translated including the words "Be bold"
Be strong. For the Lord thy God is with thee.
Careful also means cautiousness, or even over-cautiousness, the original word not being too far removed from its common usage today...
soooo....the sentence can also be translated including the words "Be bold"
Be strong. For the Lord thy God is with thee.
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Clarity
Today, a few things occurred which are probably confirming I'm on the right track and I'm about to do the Right Thing.
One of the things that happened was that some scripture that has been ping-ponging back and forth between me and others came back from another source today - and this time I really read it. Php 4, be careful for nothing etc.
Prayer
Supplication
Thanksgiving
Make known your thoughts
Guard your ways and thoughts...
It has struck me lately that we really don't pray right. We're just selfish in our prayers, and we use this piece of scripture to "prove" we can get anything we want. Not so.
Supplication and Thanksgiving. Do we know what that means? Do we even do this in prayer? I'm going to have to think on this.
What is troubling me the most is, once I see the open door I will have to have two very painful conversations. I am considering softening the blow with a few well worded offers. But this won't make it any easier for them - or me. When the time comes I will have to remember this scripture, and probably live it.
One of the things that happened was that some scripture that has been ping-ponging back and forth between me and others came back from another source today - and this time I really read it. Php 4, be careful for nothing etc.
Prayer
Supplication
Thanksgiving
Make known your thoughts
Guard your ways and thoughts...
It has struck me lately that we really don't pray right. We're just selfish in our prayers, and we use this piece of scripture to "prove" we can get anything we want. Not so.
Supplication and Thanksgiving. Do we know what that means? Do we even do this in prayer? I'm going to have to think on this.
What is troubling me the most is, once I see the open door I will have to have two very painful conversations. I am considering softening the blow with a few well worded offers. But this won't make it any easier for them - or me. When the time comes I will have to remember this scripture, and probably live it.
Tuesday 11 September 2012
Kingsway 11th September
Title: Rescuer
First Line: You're mighty and strong to save
Artist: Chris McClarney
Composer: Johnny and Cathy Parks, Nick Herbert
Album: Glimpses of Worship
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: Songs of Fellowship 5
My thoughts: The jury is still out with me on this one; I've had a copy of this for a while, but I'm not sure from where - albeit I think I have an original version rather than the live version that this is. It isn't one I want to try out in a hurry anyway, but it sounds like a good one for special worship times that aren't Sunday mornings. Maybe it will grow on me.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 17th September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: You're mighty and strong to save
Artist: Chris McClarney
Composer: Johnny and Cathy Parks, Nick Herbert
Album: Glimpses of Worship
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: Songs of Fellowship 5
My thoughts: The jury is still out with me on this one; I've had a copy of this for a while, but I'm not sure from where - albeit I think I have an original version rather than the live version that this is. It isn't one I want to try out in a hurry anyway, but it sounds like a good one for special worship times that aren't Sunday mornings. Maybe it will grow on me.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 17th September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Monday 10 September 2012
First Love
I feel so much better after that weekend.
From Friday night through to Sunday evening I felt blessed, I'm seeing a way out, rather than feeling trapped. Something has brought me down to earth a little though...
I was reading my blog posts from September 2011 and I made myself somewhat thoughtful.
Such enthusiasm. Such naivety. Such...innocence of the future and just so excited to learn. Sigh, I sometimes wish I could get that back. But I can, if I just take my own advice from those posts. You know, it's all very well to say "I'm older and wiser" (not much older though!) but there is also the saying "Out of mouths of babes..."
Chorusstorming - This is now second nature. I don't do anything but chorusstorm for Sundays and special days. I no longer seek a theme from those who are speaking; I give it over to the Boss to worry about that.
Sacrificing Fridays - I do miss doing them habitually, but I still do one every couple of months or so. But I realised from these posts I don't practice with the same intensity as I did before, and I'm not introducing newbs as frequently as I did (OK, we were a new group, I'm expecting "downward" exponential change - but the newbs have reduced to practically zero and I tend to only risk them for myself alone)
Merging and Drifting - The one thing I would absolutely love to be second nature, along with Harp and Bow and other techniques
Fighting over the choruses - Now, I'm not saying I want this every week - life's stressful enough. But it is good to have a fight over them once in a while, a good wrestle. I hope I've quit wrestling with God over these, and it is fun trying to make them all fit like a demented jigsaw puzzle
I carried on browsing for a bit, but ended up more thoughtful as I got into the "new guitar" posts...nearly a year since I bought that Freshman. (There was some odd twanging noises coming from it yesterday, I think it needs a change of strings - something like the 3rd or 4th change since I got it!)
Although, yes, I'm more experienced, and yes, I can't live it over again and, thank God, make the same mistakes again, I could approach it with a more innocent nature...
...what are we going to play today, Boss?
From Friday night through to Sunday evening I felt blessed, I'm seeing a way out, rather than feeling trapped. Something has brought me down to earth a little though...
I was reading my blog posts from September 2011 and I made myself somewhat thoughtful.
Such enthusiasm. Such naivety. Such...innocence of the future and just so excited to learn. Sigh, I sometimes wish I could get that back. But I can, if I just take my own advice from those posts. You know, it's all very well to say "I'm older and wiser" (not much older though!) but there is also the saying "Out of mouths of babes..."
Chorusstorming - This is now second nature. I don't do anything but chorusstorm for Sundays and special days. I no longer seek a theme from those who are speaking; I give it over to the Boss to worry about that.
Sacrificing Fridays - I do miss doing them habitually, but I still do one every couple of months or so. But I realised from these posts I don't practice with the same intensity as I did before, and I'm not introducing newbs as frequently as I did (OK, we were a new group, I'm expecting "downward" exponential change - but the newbs have reduced to practically zero and I tend to only risk them for myself alone)
Merging and Drifting - The one thing I would absolutely love to be second nature, along with Harp and Bow and other techniques
Fighting over the choruses - Now, I'm not saying I want this every week - life's stressful enough. But it is good to have a fight over them once in a while, a good wrestle. I hope I've quit wrestling with God over these, and it is fun trying to make them all fit like a demented jigsaw puzzle
I carried on browsing for a bit, but ended up more thoughtful as I got into the "new guitar" posts...nearly a year since I bought that Freshman. (There was some odd twanging noises coming from it yesterday, I think it needs a change of strings - something like the 3rd or 4th change since I got it!)
Although, yes, I'm more experienced, and yes, I can't live it over again and, thank God, make the same mistakes again, I could approach it with a more innocent nature...
...what are we going to play today, Boss?
Sunday 9 September 2012
Revelation
Someone read out that passage in 1 Corinth this morning - behold I show you a mystery etc. It's odd (or maybe not) that the choruses I'm preparing lately have been on Revelations theme. No, I'm not going to make anything of this, prophetically, but it is good to be reminded of this, where we will ultimately be, and united, despite having brethren missing from the mortal plane...
Worship this morning:
Men of Faith (which the leader loved this morning, awoke something in his spirit)
All I Once Held Dear
Be Thou my Vision
Into Your Hands
Jesus Be the Centre
Almost got carried away with this - it's almost heartbreaking for me to detach myself from it sometimes but I have to - else I'd be a little puddle on the floor. The words are so appropriate to my circumstances at the moment.
It was good to feel fed this morning. As I was yesterday. But I have, potentially, 11 worship sessions this month and into the first week of October, 6 of which will likely be on my own. 2 down, 9 to go. Informed Bossman this morning that I am, effectively, taking October off due to practical, logistical and personal reasons (i.e. I'll probably be at dropping point) but there are plans in October that I haven't told him about....
...I had an email the other day, and you know when you think you know someone really well, and you sense they are not telling you something because they're not sure themselves, but in your spirit you maybe have insight into what decision they're about to make...I may be totally off the mark anyway. We'll see.
Worship this morning:
Men of Faith (which the leader loved this morning, awoke something in his spirit)
All I Once Held Dear
Be Thou my Vision
Into Your Hands
Jesus Be the Centre
Almost got carried away with this - it's almost heartbreaking for me to detach myself from it sometimes but I have to - else I'd be a little puddle on the floor. The words are so appropriate to my circumstances at the moment.
It was good to feel fed this morning. As I was yesterday. But I have, potentially, 11 worship sessions this month and into the first week of October, 6 of which will likely be on my own. 2 down, 9 to go. Informed Bossman this morning that I am, effectively, taking October off due to practical, logistical and personal reasons (i.e. I'll probably be at dropping point) but there are plans in October that I haven't told him about....
...I had an email the other day, and you know when you think you know someone really well, and you sense they are not telling you something because they're not sure themselves, but in your spirit you maybe have insight into what decision they're about to make...I may be totally off the mark anyway. We'll see.
Thursday 6 September 2012
Changes
I can count on two hands the people I can say, truthfully, I've clashed with in life. I can likely remember every one of their full names.
I take people as they are. Yes, I may draw wrong conclusions about them, doesn't everybody, at some point? Irrational and illogical behaviour may irritate me, but eventually I shrug and come to the conclusion life is too short to make a big deal out of it. I say, after putting the furniture back together that I've thrown around the room...
But - equally - I can count on two hands (but only just - start counting on the second hand that is) the number of people I have actually clicked with. My ally in the church, for instance; someone commented that they are like a sibling to me. Separated at birth? I muse...well, in fact all children in Christ were, if you think about it, we were there at creation, doomed to be parted until He hung on a tree for us to bring hope that we will be eternally united. But, yes, that person is special because we think in the same way, and have similar churchy-type upbringing.
It's a blessing to find someone else to connect with, and I had a long conversation with them last night. We talked about this and that, the person recently widowed and what it's done to them, meetings, conferences, and...
...changes. They're changing church because they know God has told them to. Is this another signpost for me? And which way? They had wise words for me, but I was unwilling to go into the full story - no-one, not my SOH, not my allies, know the full story and I'm not ready to pour it all out. Not even here. Especially not here. I state nothing here that I wouldn't repeat to those I meet. God knows it all though. I've stated my woes verbally and my spirit has groaned with it for months now.
I really hope there is an answer. And soon.
I take people as they are. Yes, I may draw wrong conclusions about them, doesn't everybody, at some point? Irrational and illogical behaviour may irritate me, but eventually I shrug and come to the conclusion life is too short to make a big deal out of it. I say, after putting the furniture back together that I've thrown around the room...
But - equally - I can count on two hands (but only just - start counting on the second hand that is) the number of people I have actually clicked with. My ally in the church, for instance; someone commented that they are like a sibling to me. Separated at birth? I muse...well, in fact all children in Christ were, if you think about it, we were there at creation, doomed to be parted until He hung on a tree for us to bring hope that we will be eternally united. But, yes, that person is special because we think in the same way, and have similar churchy-type upbringing.
It's a blessing to find someone else to connect with, and I had a long conversation with them last night. We talked about this and that, the person recently widowed and what it's done to them, meetings, conferences, and...
...changes. They're changing church because they know God has told them to. Is this another signpost for me? And which way? They had wise words for me, but I was unwilling to go into the full story - no-one, not my SOH, not my allies, know the full story and I'm not ready to pour it all out. Not even here. Especially not here. I state nothing here that I wouldn't repeat to those I meet. God knows it all though. I've stated my woes verbally and my spirit has groaned with it for months now.
I really hope there is an answer. And soon.
Wednesday 5 September 2012
Development
God knows exactly how to handle me - generally speaking He corners me so I have to do something other than procrastinate. Well, I am in that situation, although I knew one day I'd buy one, I didn't think I would need one quite as urgently. Ordered at 4pm yesterday, received a little over 24 hours later. (For those of you over 30 - doesn't that still blow your mind how quickly dreams can arrive on your doorstep? I guess I could have got it still quicker than that.)
It has mic as well as instrument input so will come in very handy. Good price too.
With everything else going on - I know I am still being prepared for something. Currently, I'm on a sort of starting block. I'm waiting for the gun to fire. Trouble is, it's in God's own time, not mine. Guess He's teaching me patience, along with everything else.
Tuesday 4 September 2012
Kingsway 4th September
Title: Psalm 62
First Line: My soul finds rest in God alone
Artist: Aaron Keyes
Composer: Stuart Townend, Aaron Keyes
Album: Not Guilty Anymore
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: Songs of Fellowship 4, Source 4
My thoughts: Ah St. Stuart of Townend - who doesn't love this guy for what he's done for church music - a way of putting scripture so effortlessly into song, and also, if you've grown up CofE (like me) making it sound like you've known it since you were a kid. Only you can't have done because it's only a few years old. I've had a copy of this for a while, but I like seeing hymns like this on Kingsway once in a while. If you don't have a copy of this, here's your chance. Aaron is another singer/songwriter with a big future, still a whippersnapper on his 3rd album (I think). Worth a look is his profile on Kingsway also.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 10th September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: My soul finds rest in God alone
Artist: Aaron Keyes
Composer: Stuart Townend, Aaron Keyes
Album: Not Guilty Anymore
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: Songs of Fellowship 4, Source 4
My thoughts: Ah St. Stuart of Townend - who doesn't love this guy for what he's done for church music - a way of putting scripture so effortlessly into song, and also, if you've grown up CofE (like me) making it sound like you've known it since you were a kid. Only you can't have done because it's only a few years old. I've had a copy of this for a while, but I like seeing hymns like this on Kingsway once in a while. If you don't have a copy of this, here's your chance. Aaron is another singer/songwriter with a big future, still a whippersnapper on his 3rd album (I think). Worth a look is his profile on Kingsway also.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 10th September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Sunday 2 September 2012
Rest
I didn't go to church today, I stayed at home, a couple of chores, breakfast and fellowship with my SOH.
September will be a very busy month. I will be doing at least 7 WL sessions, maybe as many as 9; Friday nights, a Thursday day time, Saturdays and Sundays. I think there's one week when it's all four in a row... It takes my mind off other things and stops the brooding. I keep myself busy researching "new" songs in my SOFs and Source.
I needed the company of other Christians Friday night, just hours after the announcement. Needless to say there were prayers and talk about how miracles still happen and how this should be a celebration and...
...hang on.
Someone started praying for the spouse and I could almost predict, word for word, what they were going to pray. I was almost shaking my head...hackneyed phrases, quoting scripture, saying what you think God needs you to say, trying to behave in the way that the Bible tells you to when someone dies - cry? - you gotta be kidding...
...Jesus wept...He needed to feel that grief, else how could anyone who was ever bereaved ever connect?
We are human, not robots. I get annoyed with ex-church goers who say "I used to go, but I can't believe in a God who took my...(insert relative/friend here)". I get just as annoyed with people who say things like "well s/he's gone to a better place and we should be celebrating.."
...it doesn't help those left behind. In fact, the word tells us to mourn with those who mourn. The full works. Sackcloth and ashes and copious tears if necessary.
You may be thinking, hang on Fi, you're totally contradicting what you said the other day, death isn't an ending yahdeyahdeyahda. No, it isn't, not for the person who dies. It can feel that way for the people close to them and the years of waiting until they can rejoin them...
Let's be real. Mary, in her anguish, said "Lord if You'd have been here, my brother wouldn't have died." She wasn't saying that he'd gone to a better place and talking of peace that passeth all understanding - she was doing the equivalent of screaming at God - "WHY?" and "How can I cope without them?"
The Bible also tells us to help widows in their affliction. I hope that I pray the right things, and if I see them soon, say the right stuff, and above all....be real.
September will be a very busy month. I will be doing at least 7 WL sessions, maybe as many as 9; Friday nights, a Thursday day time, Saturdays and Sundays. I think there's one week when it's all four in a row... It takes my mind off other things and stops the brooding. I keep myself busy researching "new" songs in my SOFs and Source.
I needed the company of other Christians Friday night, just hours after the announcement. Needless to say there were prayers and talk about how miracles still happen and how this should be a celebration and...
...hang on.
Someone started praying for the spouse and I could almost predict, word for word, what they were going to pray. I was almost shaking my head...hackneyed phrases, quoting scripture, saying what you think God needs you to say, trying to behave in the way that the Bible tells you to when someone dies - cry? - you gotta be kidding...
...Jesus wept...He needed to feel that grief, else how could anyone who was ever bereaved ever connect?
We are human, not robots. I get annoyed with ex-church goers who say "I used to go, but I can't believe in a God who took my...(insert relative/friend here)". I get just as annoyed with people who say things like "well s/he's gone to a better place and we should be celebrating.."
...it doesn't help those left behind. In fact, the word tells us to mourn with those who mourn. The full works. Sackcloth and ashes and copious tears if necessary.
You may be thinking, hang on Fi, you're totally contradicting what you said the other day, death isn't an ending yahdeyahdeyahda. No, it isn't, not for the person who dies. It can feel that way for the people close to them and the years of waiting until they can rejoin them...
Let's be real. Mary, in her anguish, said "Lord if You'd have been here, my brother wouldn't have died." She wasn't saying that he'd gone to a better place and talking of peace that passeth all understanding - she was doing the equivalent of screaming at God - "WHY?" and "How can I cope without them?"
The Bible also tells us to help widows in their affliction. I hope that I pray the right things, and if I see them soon, say the right stuff, and above all....be real.
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