I think it is "Christus Victor" on my mp3 player (another Kingsway freebie) which ends with a short sermon of sorts from the singer.
He talks about football team "victories", countries taking over other countries "victories" but he says that these are all temporary, it all changes, beit in a year, or a hundred years, someone else gets their time and so on and so forth.
Only one victory is permanent. Selah.
It's difficult to express my attitude towards a certain situation at the moment without sounding like I'm "giving in", but I think some people need to let go.
If I was directly affected by it, I would feel differently, sure, but at the same time I think I would need to stop and ask some important questions:
Who is the Master of life and death anyway? Who has control of this person's life? Who has already won the victory?
The answer to all of them is the Answer to the problem. Trouble is, too many people have decided they know what's best and are, effectively, in my mind, telling God what to do, when they should just...let...go and give it to Him. Yes, it's painful. Yes, the result may not be what you are praying for. But who is Master of your life? Who is Master of their's?
My friend, who had a brush with death, the other week said "What I care about is that God's will is done." I believed them. But with their mouths other people are saying "Thy will be done" (...but as long as it's mine too)
For someone in Christ, death is not an ending. It can seem like an ending to those left behind and I can hardly begin to empathise. But something in my nature is seeing the practical side of all this, that one day, I will see all of my friends again, and I may actually end up kind of jealous if they go before me.
The fear of years and years of loneliness is something I have lived with - but this fear is starting to dissipate. Incredibly, all this stuff going on in and around the churches, mine and others I've heard of, those critically ill, or had a brush with death, or lost a spouse due to critical illness...has improved my prayer life 100 fold and...given me hope that I can cope for a time that has a high chance of occuring. And this, in itself, was an answer to prayer...
Late edit approx 16:45: It's over. Another spirit gone to be with the Lord Jesus, and another lonely heart on earth. It's a circle we may never understand and will only be ended once the final victory is won.
Friday 31 August 2012
Thursday 30 August 2012
Balanced
Yesterday, I got some news that made we weep with joy. What was incredible (or maybe not) was that it was pretty much what I had prayed for - when everyone else seemed to be giving it up for medical treatment, I had prayed there would be no trace and no need for a possible painful and lengthy process.
Through faith - this person is now able to carry on, as normal, with a scar, but this scar is a victory mark - proof of coming through great tribulation.
I would that another quarter had similarly happy news. Instead, it just seems to be getting worse and worse. It is really difficult to know what to pray for.
I'm not leading Sunday. I'm using my prep time looking at and listening to songs I feel He has led me to, for future use. Strangely - they all seem to be on the same theme, so I guess He's trying to tell me something...
Through faith - this person is now able to carry on, as normal, with a scar, but this scar is a victory mark - proof of coming through great tribulation.
I would that another quarter had similarly happy news. Instead, it just seems to be getting worse and worse. It is really difficult to know what to pray for.
I'm not leading Sunday. I'm using my prep time looking at and listening to songs I feel He has led me to, for future use. Strangely - they all seem to be on the same theme, so I guess He's trying to tell me something...
Tuesday 28 August 2012
Kingsway 28th August
Has it been a week already....?
Title: Guardian
First Line: King of Love and Grace
Artist: Ben Cantelon
Composer: Ben Cantelon, Nick Herbert, Stuart Garrard
Album: Everything in Color
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Cannot confirm, website playing up, and I gave up!!
Popular sources: None
My thoughts:
You go before me
You’re there beside me
And if I wander
Love will find me
Goodness and mercy
Will always follow
You go before me
My Guardian
Says it all really. Stu's contribution to all this isn't obvious, but maybe I haven't listened to enough of him, only the quite powerful and quick yah-ta-ta, yah-ta-ta 6/8 rhythm of stuff like Men of Faith and Sing to the Lord. This is heartfelt, moderately powerful stuff, good for ministry perhaps, but I can't see it becoming cong fare - although I could be proved very very wrong. I usually am. It states its case quickly and simply without overkill repetitive choruses (see the 14th) - so it's pretty good in my book. I am puzzled with the americanised spelling of "color" though - OK, he's Canadian, but he lives in the UK pretty permanently now? A minor niggle - the guy is very talented.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 3rd September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Title: Guardian
First Line: King of Love and Grace
Artist: Ben Cantelon
Composer: Ben Cantelon, Nick Herbert, Stuart Garrard
Album: Everything in Color
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Cannot confirm, website playing up, and I gave up!!
Popular sources: None
My thoughts:
You go before me
You’re there beside me
And if I wander
Love will find me
Goodness and mercy
Will always follow
You go before me
My Guardian
Says it all really. Stu's contribution to all this isn't obvious, but maybe I haven't listened to enough of him, only the quite powerful and quick yah-ta-ta, yah-ta-ta 6/8 rhythm of stuff like Men of Faith and Sing to the Lord. This is heartfelt, moderately powerful stuff, good for ministry perhaps, but I can't see it becoming cong fare - although I could be proved very very wrong. I usually am. It states its case quickly and simply without overkill repetitive choruses (see the 14th) - so it's pretty good in my book. I am puzzled with the americanised spelling of "color" though - OK, he's Canadian, but he lives in the UK pretty permanently now? A minor niggle - the guy is very talented.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 3rd September inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Sunday 26 August 2012
One better day
Worship this morning
Jesus, We Celebrate Your Victory
Fill Your Hearts with Joy
Wonderful Grace
Purify My Heart
You Have Been So Good
Ever the eagle-eyed (although I'm not good at hiding my feelings), Bossman homed in on me today and asked how I was, I said spiritually I was a bit rough. I didn't go into too many details, but I think he could guess.
I'm really not ready to discuss it all.
But...today was a better day. It wasn't particularly special. I didn't feel especially "zapped" or annointed...just...calm. It puts me in mind of my "hurricane" theory of last year; the eye of the storm is always the quietest.
With the encounter yesterday, a bible reading last night out of Psalm 77 and a general feeling that I have to prioritise and put Him at the top of the list, I feel a mixture of peace and anticipation, with a pinch of God fear, a sprinkling of mortal fear and a quite liberal amount of chastisement.
This has left me a bit confused - but I least I know I am confused, rather than just a teensy bit insane.
Or maybe I'm that too. After all, one of the roots of Hallelujah, Haw-lal, also means "foolishness".
Am I to carry on and be a fool for God? Time will tell.
Jesus, We Celebrate Your Victory
Fill Your Hearts with Joy
Wonderful Grace
Purify My Heart
You Have Been So Good
Ever the eagle-eyed (although I'm not good at hiding my feelings), Bossman homed in on me today and asked how I was, I said spiritually I was a bit rough. I didn't go into too many details, but I think he could guess.
I'm really not ready to discuss it all.
But...today was a better day. It wasn't particularly special. I didn't feel especially "zapped" or annointed...just...calm. It puts me in mind of my "hurricane" theory of last year; the eye of the storm is always the quietest.
With the encounter yesterday, a bible reading last night out of Psalm 77 and a general feeling that I have to prioritise and put Him at the top of the list, I feel a mixture of peace and anticipation, with a pinch of God fear, a sprinkling of mortal fear and a quite liberal amount of chastisement.
This has left me a bit confused - but I least I know I am confused, rather than just a teensy bit insane.
Or maybe I'm that too. After all, one of the roots of Hallelujah, Haw-lal, also means "foolishness".
Am I to carry on and be a fool for God? Time will tell.
Saturday 25 August 2012
Timing
God's timing really is incredible.
I remember someone saying that, sometimes, it feels that God acts about 1 minute to midnight - forget the 11th hour - and they say it's great that He intervened, but couldn't He have done it a little sooner, rather than shave more years off their life?
On the other hand - they said - any sooner would have been wrong (you might end up taking Him for granted) - God's timing is impeccable.
Such as it was today. I was wandering around the supermarket thinking about a certain situation and certain causes attached to it. Then I hear a voice greeting me - no, not an angel of the Lord, but close. Someone very close to that situation who I had been meaning to speak to but I thought were away until next week.
He had made sure we were in that supermarket at the same time so that the foundation could be laid.
Absolutely perfect timing.
I remember someone saying that, sometimes, it feels that God acts about 1 minute to midnight - forget the 11th hour - and they say it's great that He intervened, but couldn't He have done it a little sooner, rather than shave more years off their life?
On the other hand - they said - any sooner would have been wrong (you might end up taking Him for granted) - God's timing is impeccable.
Such as it was today. I was wandering around the supermarket thinking about a certain situation and certain causes attached to it. Then I hear a voice greeting me - no, not an angel of the Lord, but close. Someone very close to that situation who I had been meaning to speak to but I thought were away until next week.
He had made sure we were in that supermarket at the same time so that the foundation could be laid.
Absolutely perfect timing.
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Kingsway 21st August
Title: We Still Believe
First Line: From the thankful heart to the battle scarred
Artist: Kathryn Scott
Composer: Kathryn Scott
Album: We Still Believe
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Cannot confirm
Popular sources: None
My thoughts: I was a bit "hohum" about this one to start with - and then I started listening properly; the words are really appropriate to the way I'm feeling lately. Belief in itself is probably not enough when you can give more, but when you're feeling at your lowest, belief is enough because God's faithfulness can sustain us. The tune - honestly - is not overly special, but this doesn't really matter to me in this case. The perfection of strong words, strong tune doesn't happen that often, but if you get one of them right, make sure it's the former. Nice one, Kathryn, and I could be tempted to buy this album...
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 27th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: From the thankful heart to the battle scarred
Artist: Kathryn Scott
Composer: Kathryn Scott
Album: We Still Believe
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Cannot confirm
Popular sources: None
My thoughts: I was a bit "hohum" about this one to start with - and then I started listening properly; the words are really appropriate to the way I'm feeling lately. Belief in itself is probably not enough when you can give more, but when you're feeling at your lowest, belief is enough because God's faithfulness can sustain us. The tune - honestly - is not overly special, but this doesn't really matter to me in this case. The perfection of strong words, strong tune doesn't happen that often, but if you get one of them right, make sure it's the former. Nice one, Kathryn, and I could be tempted to buy this album...
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 27th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Monday 20 August 2012
Dub'y'ell
When I arrived at church yesterday, I had the place to myself for 10 minutes or so, and PA man had left a CD going in the background, some live festival or somesuch, Christian music. I was trying to get my head together and thinking about my friend who may or may not turn up that morning (they did - see yesterday's post).
In the midst of that, the CD track changed and suddenly a flame in me reawakened. Imperceptible at first, in fact, I didn't feel it at all until later that afternoon, when I thought of the chorus, looked up CopyReport, found it in the SOF, transcribed it to Musescore and thought...
...wow...this one was a direct answer to prayer.
You see, there's another special day coming up, there is a high expectation level on it (not directly on me, I hasten to add - I just want to do my best, as high as I set my bar, rightly or wrongly, and I'm on my own), and I need to find some choruses that pack some punch, and oh yes, I've found one. 20 years old, and here I am, flipping around like a fish out of water amongst the rather more trendy choruses that Kingsway tend to post.
God's saying: "Don't stress. I'll pick the right ones. You just have to play them." There was I, worried that, although I had a bunch of "new-ish" choruses there didn't seem to be one that would have set the place alight - metaphorically speaking. Sorry I forgot, Boss: You have it all under control.
As usual, this has started a chain reaction of administration that I need to do, and yet another project has popped up in relation to all this shebang which will take some time. But I'm happiest being occupied. And it means I don't have to think about...other stuff. Well, not yet anyway. And only at the appropriate time.
(If you're wondering about the post title, some of you will work it out straightaway. To the others I say - have a think about it. :-) )
In the midst of that, the CD track changed and suddenly a flame in me reawakened. Imperceptible at first, in fact, I didn't feel it at all until later that afternoon, when I thought of the chorus, looked up CopyReport, found it in the SOF, transcribed it to Musescore and thought...
...wow...this one was a direct answer to prayer.
You see, there's another special day coming up, there is a high expectation level on it (not directly on me, I hasten to add - I just want to do my best, as high as I set my bar, rightly or wrongly, and I'm on my own), and I need to find some choruses that pack some punch, and oh yes, I've found one. 20 years old, and here I am, flipping around like a fish out of water amongst the rather more trendy choruses that Kingsway tend to post.
God's saying: "Don't stress. I'll pick the right ones. You just have to play them." There was I, worried that, although I had a bunch of "new-ish" choruses there didn't seem to be one that would have set the place alight - metaphorically speaking. Sorry I forgot, Boss: You have it all under control.
As usual, this has started a chain reaction of administration that I need to do, and yet another project has popped up in relation to all this shebang which will take some time. But I'm happiest being occupied. And it means I don't have to think about...other stuff. Well, not yet anyway. And only at the appropriate time.
(If you're wondering about the post title, some of you will work it out straightaway. To the others I say - have a think about it. :-) )
Sunday 19 August 2012
Faith
Almost slap bang in the centre of Lamentations, a book perhaps second only to Revelations in descriptive horror:
"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness." - Lam 3:22-23 KJV 1611
Amazing isn't it, that in the midst of Jeremiah's discourse, when it sounds like it can't get any worse, he praises God that he is still alive.
Worship this morning:
Holy, Holy, God Almighty
Lord I come before Your throne
In Christ Alone
On the Cross
All Hail the Lamb
...and I felt that we needed to carry on singing, so
I just want to praise You
And, unusually, I was invited to play something after the message, and I chose
My Lord, what Love is this
And although they are not out of woods, my friend's act of rebellion was to turn up at church today, despite having a major operation a couple of weeks back. No, it didn't blow up, it was peaceful, but I sensed a certain tension, which wasn't allowed to develop. It was good to see them, and when I hugged them goodbye and they said they missed me, I said, me too, more than you know. It may be a few weeks before I see them again - yes, there's the phone, yes there's email, yes I could even go see them...somehow it's not the same out of the environment of the church.
Yesterday, during prayer, I felt the tangle that I've been caught up in, unravel a little, freedom and sunshine didn't seem as far away than of late. Maybe clarity is not far behind, maybe I can grasp hold of what God is trying to tell me....
...there was further news today of someone who isn't a member of the church but is a long term friend of many within the church (and his spouse was my predecessor)...let's just say the news, on a mortal level, isn't good.
I have come to understand that death is not an ending - it is a beginning, although it can feel like an ending to those they leave behind. It is, indeed, a bridge, that we cannot cross (and must not attempt to prematurely - although technically we can!) until God so calls us. It's the interminable wait though - and maybe the knowledge that when we see them again it will be different and the relationship cannot be as it was on earth - it will in fact be something better. My SOH agrees though - we may go separately (the likelihood is high in fact - you can probably guess why) - but when we meet again, the relationship will be perhaps more "special" than others, and even those who have had multiple spouses, they will be in some sort of special harmony and they, perhaps, will have more to enjoy, as they have shed the most tears...
I am perhaps being whimsical, it's not something I dwell on much. Over the next week, I need to quit maudlin, and do more kneeling.
"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness." - Lam 3:22-23 KJV 1611
Amazing isn't it, that in the midst of Jeremiah's discourse, when it sounds like it can't get any worse, he praises God that he is still alive.
Worship this morning:
Holy, Holy, God Almighty
Lord I come before Your throne
In Christ Alone
On the Cross
All Hail the Lamb
...and I felt that we needed to carry on singing, so
I just want to praise You
And, unusually, I was invited to play something after the message, and I chose
My Lord, what Love is this
And although they are not out of woods, my friend's act of rebellion was to turn up at church today, despite having a major operation a couple of weeks back. No, it didn't blow up, it was peaceful, but I sensed a certain tension, which wasn't allowed to develop. It was good to see them, and when I hugged them goodbye and they said they missed me, I said, me too, more than you know. It may be a few weeks before I see them again - yes, there's the phone, yes there's email, yes I could even go see them...somehow it's not the same out of the environment of the church.
Yesterday, during prayer, I felt the tangle that I've been caught up in, unravel a little, freedom and sunshine didn't seem as far away than of late. Maybe clarity is not far behind, maybe I can grasp hold of what God is trying to tell me....
...there was further news today of someone who isn't a member of the church but is a long term friend of many within the church (and his spouse was my predecessor)...let's just say the news, on a mortal level, isn't good.
I have come to understand that death is not an ending - it is a beginning, although it can feel like an ending to those they leave behind. It is, indeed, a bridge, that we cannot cross (and must not attempt to prematurely - although technically we can!) until God so calls us. It's the interminable wait though - and maybe the knowledge that when we see them again it will be different and the relationship cannot be as it was on earth - it will in fact be something better. My SOH agrees though - we may go separately (the likelihood is high in fact - you can probably guess why) - but when we meet again, the relationship will be perhaps more "special" than others, and even those who have had multiple spouses, they will be in some sort of special harmony and they, perhaps, will have more to enjoy, as they have shed the most tears...
I am perhaps being whimsical, it's not something I dwell on much. Over the next week, I need to quit maudlin, and do more kneeling.
Saturday 18 August 2012
Sense and logic
I have joked that God had a bit of a fight with me, with the personality that I am things have got to make logical sense before I can trust it. I also have a problem with the word finite, that something is definitely the truth, because, well, basically, it just is.
I said to God I had a problem with finity. He said "That's fine, I'm infinite, you have a lifetime to understand." I rose to the challenge.
But sometimes stuff just doesn't make sense wherever you file it, even with people saying God just is. I challenged someone last night in a biblical context, they said something was written when it wasn't. It was minor, and I almost regretted saying it because although sometimes I revel in being contentious, it could be seen as petty at face value. Trouble is, the person argued back, and then I really couldn't let go of it.
My mind had already been thrown off kilter by a few pieces of news, one of which had me practically in tears before Bible study begun.
Why? Just....why?
Throughout the evening, God seemed to be asking "Are you angry with Me?" I tried to avoid answering, but once cornered, I had to be honest: "I hope I'm not. I can't begin to understand Your purposes."
Someone said to me the other day that if what I'm doing is a burden to me, and too heavy, I need to stop - and a picture has entered my mind of manual handling courses where you're taught not to lift anything that's too heavy - and at least know the right way to carry it.
I learned something last night though - with what I am about to do, I am on my own. I can't drag anyone else into it, unless they want to pray for me. Actually, I'm not on my own, I have my SOH, my guitar, and God. This was all I started with over a year ago, everything else I have to let go of, only then can I start walking straight again.
I said to God I had a problem with finity. He said "That's fine, I'm infinite, you have a lifetime to understand." I rose to the challenge.
But sometimes stuff just doesn't make sense wherever you file it, even with people saying God just is. I challenged someone last night in a biblical context, they said something was written when it wasn't. It was minor, and I almost regretted saying it because although sometimes I revel in being contentious, it could be seen as petty at face value. Trouble is, the person argued back, and then I really couldn't let go of it.
My mind had already been thrown off kilter by a few pieces of news, one of which had me practically in tears before Bible study begun.
Why? Just....why?
Throughout the evening, God seemed to be asking "Are you angry with Me?" I tried to avoid answering, but once cornered, I had to be honest: "I hope I'm not. I can't begin to understand Your purposes."
Someone said to me the other day that if what I'm doing is a burden to me, and too heavy, I need to stop - and a picture has entered my mind of manual handling courses where you're taught not to lift anything that's too heavy - and at least know the right way to carry it.
I learned something last night though - with what I am about to do, I am on my own. I can't drag anyone else into it, unless they want to pray for me. Actually, I'm not on my own, I have my SOH, my guitar, and God. This was all I started with over a year ago, everything else I have to let go of, only then can I start walking straight again.
Thursday 16 August 2012
Rebellion
I had an email from a friend yesterday, and although it was great to hear from them, they stated something that they were going to do which was in direct conflict in advice from another.
We've all done it of course, and sometimes we admire the chutzpah of those who listen to advice and then just go and do what they want because they are denying themselves if they don't.
There is one problem with the person's rebellion - I know that the person who gave the advice will be very very annoyed. And although it won't harm anyone, at least not physically, there could be a long term effect on the relationship between the two - in fact, it could cause a chain reaction which could be horrifying to watch at worst, but extremely interesting at best.
I had to smile when I read it, but was I really wrong to feel some sort of smug satisfaction about this rebellion, or even admiration? After all, the advice was given in love, not with some sort of power trip.
But - this person, like me, has a choice to make. They are refusing to be enslaved, and want to listen to what God wants instead - bearing in mind that advice can come from God via human voices. But they are now getting sick of "advice", however well-meaning, from a certain quarter and are listening to what is within - a testimony that is bursting to come out or a sail that just has to be raised.
If we don't try, we'll never know if it was His voice. And He is with us in the storm, is our Lighthouse to bring us home to safe harbour.
God probably gets angry with us if we make like Jacob. But He hasn't made us to be sheeple either.
My friend's attitude has just added more confirmation for me. I don't want to stand still anymore.
We've all done it of course, and sometimes we admire the chutzpah of those who listen to advice and then just go and do what they want because they are denying themselves if they don't.
There is one problem with the person's rebellion - I know that the person who gave the advice will be very very annoyed. And although it won't harm anyone, at least not physically, there could be a long term effect on the relationship between the two - in fact, it could cause a chain reaction which could be horrifying to watch at worst, but extremely interesting at best.
I had to smile when I read it, but was I really wrong to feel some sort of smug satisfaction about this rebellion, or even admiration? After all, the advice was given in love, not with some sort of power trip.
But - this person, like me, has a choice to make. They are refusing to be enslaved, and want to listen to what God wants instead - bearing in mind that advice can come from God via human voices. But they are now getting sick of "advice", however well-meaning, from a certain quarter and are listening to what is within - a testimony that is bursting to come out or a sail that just has to be raised.
If we don't try, we'll never know if it was His voice. And He is with us in the storm, is our Lighthouse to bring us home to safe harbour.
God probably gets angry with us if we make like Jacob. But He hasn't made us to be sheeple either.
My friend's attitude has just added more confirmation for me. I don't want to stand still anymore.
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Kingsway 14th August
Title: White Flag
First Line: The battle rages on
Artist: Chris Tomlin
Composer: Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, Matt Maher & Jason Ingram
Album: Passion: White Flag
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: This is very very new I'm not going to bother looking. Give it a couple of months, it will be there
Popular sources: Far too new yet, literally hot off the press..
My thoughts: As you probably know, I'm quite fond of "reading" the music first before listening to the mp3, and my initial thoughts were - great, an 83bpm so relatively slow, or at least a gentle sway. It is moderately gentle, but with the addition of drums and rocky guitars which sound more than a little influenced by U2, it's turned into...um...a fairly decent Christian yoof rock chorus. From the beginning, the Tomlin and Redman influence is obvious (Redman rarely goes up and down the musical scale like a demented yoyo, and Tomlin loves things to sway) Think of How Great is Our God and You Never Let Go, put them in a pot, put a few spices and extra herbs and veggies and out comes this. A good flavour, but like sweet chilli sauce, not really my flavour. Shame, because I like all these artists, but I can't see me buying this, nor playing it. I dislike the trend lately of repeating the same line over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Call me a traditionalist (at best) or a pedant (at worst). Or someone that is maybe getting too old for this.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 20th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: The battle rages on
Artist: Chris Tomlin
Composer: Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, Matt Maher & Jason Ingram
Album: Passion: White Flag
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: This is very very new I'm not going to bother looking. Give it a couple of months, it will be there
Popular sources: Far too new yet, literally hot off the press..
My thoughts: As you probably know, I'm quite fond of "reading" the music first before listening to the mp3, and my initial thoughts were - great, an 83bpm so relatively slow, or at least a gentle sway. It is moderately gentle, but with the addition of drums and rocky guitars which sound more than a little influenced by U2, it's turned into...um...a fairly decent Christian yoof rock chorus. From the beginning, the Tomlin and Redman influence is obvious (Redman rarely goes up and down the musical scale like a demented yoyo, and Tomlin loves things to sway) Think of How Great is Our God and You Never Let Go, put them in a pot, put a few spices and extra herbs and veggies and out comes this. A good flavour, but like sweet chilli sauce, not really my flavour. Shame, because I like all these artists, but I can't see me buying this, nor playing it. I dislike the trend lately of repeating the same line over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Call me a traditionalist (at best) or a pedant (at worst). Or someone that is maybe getting too old for this.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 20th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Sunday 12 August 2012
New chapters
Worship this morning:
In Heavenly Armour
Jesus Shall Take the Highest Honour
I will sing the Wondrous story
I will offer up my life
Jesus, all for Jesus
I made a decision today - I was somewhat "motivated" (if that's the correct word) by comments made the last two Friday Bible studies, and a further one today.
It probably won't be popular - especially with one person. And - most of all - I hate the fact I may be letting them down. Something radical would have to happen to make me change my mind, or my heart will really have to change, or an attitude needs to be kicked into touch. If that happens, for sure, I'll rethink - but I almost feel like it would be a miracle of similar proportions to curing a terminal illness. This is possible, and I believe it. But I've felt like this for too long, and as each day, week, month goes by it just intensifies.
A door is opening. Someone said to me recently that this door, this opportunity, may not be either/or. It could be something that God is using to supplement what I'm doing already. But I've been pondering some lyrics recently, from a favourite secular song of mine by Pink Floyd:
"Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?"
I asked this question of God last night - did I? He seemed to answer that it was a question of perception. Being WL could be a small part of a large war - or - as it feels at the moment - a monkey trap. The new opp could involve WL - for a short while at least, it would be in no wise as permanent as I have here - but I would prefer a lowlier position - even just to be part of a cong again - than to carry on fighting things I cannot see. Give it over to God, I can hear some of you saying, well, this is part of it.
In 6-7 weeks, something very profound has to happen for the wind of change to revert back to the previous direction. There is an impetus inside me now that I feel cannot be denied. It's time to make a radical, perhaps life-changing decision, before the spirit in me dies. It is that serious. I'm sick of bread and milk, I need meat. If that means coming down a peg or two or entering a valley or a wilderness I will do it, because I cannot carry on in the fashion I am now.
In Heavenly Armour
Jesus Shall Take the Highest Honour
I will sing the Wondrous story
I will offer up my life
Jesus, all for Jesus
I made a decision today - I was somewhat "motivated" (if that's the correct word) by comments made the last two Friday Bible studies, and a further one today.
It probably won't be popular - especially with one person. And - most of all - I hate the fact I may be letting them down. Something radical would have to happen to make me change my mind, or my heart will really have to change, or an attitude needs to be kicked into touch. If that happens, for sure, I'll rethink - but I almost feel like it would be a miracle of similar proportions to curing a terminal illness. This is possible, and I believe it. But I've felt like this for too long, and as each day, week, month goes by it just intensifies.
A door is opening. Someone said to me recently that this door, this opportunity, may not be either/or. It could be something that God is using to supplement what I'm doing already. But I've been pondering some lyrics recently, from a favourite secular song of mine by Pink Floyd:
"Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?"
I asked this question of God last night - did I? He seemed to answer that it was a question of perception. Being WL could be a small part of a large war - or - as it feels at the moment - a monkey trap. The new opp could involve WL - for a short while at least, it would be in no wise as permanent as I have here - but I would prefer a lowlier position - even just to be part of a cong again - than to carry on fighting things I cannot see. Give it over to God, I can hear some of you saying, well, this is part of it.
In 6-7 weeks, something very profound has to happen for the wind of change to revert back to the previous direction. There is an impetus inside me now that I feel cannot be denied. It's time to make a radical, perhaps life-changing decision, before the spirit in me dies. It is that serious. I'm sick of bread and milk, I need meat. If that means coming down a peg or two or entering a valley or a wilderness I will do it, because I cannot carry on in the fashion I am now.
Wednesday 8 August 2012
Friends
I got an unexpected phone call, the first one on my new phone (which has got more stuff on it than I'll ever need, it even accepts certain apps - and it was a cheap phone!) - from my friend who's just got over an illness and operation (the one that, due to "political" reasons I won't go see at home). Wonderful to hear from them, and sounding so chirpy too, but in the midst of the conversation I suddenly latched on to why I've been feeling uneasy lately. I'm not the only one.
Strangely, later, I was sitting by the lake and trying out the radio on the phone, and I came across a station that was playing "I'll be there for you" - also known as the theme from Friends. How apt, after the 10 minute convo earlier, and after I'd spent half to three quarters of an hour chatting to the Boss, and then my closest friend was there sitting beside me - my OH of course, who'd come out to find me.
Strangely, later, I was sitting by the lake and trying out the radio on the phone, and I came across a station that was playing "I'll be there for you" - also known as the theme from Friends. How apt, after the 10 minute convo earlier, and after I'd spent half to three quarters of an hour chatting to the Boss, and then my closest friend was there sitting beside me - my OH of course, who'd come out to find me.
Tuesday 7 August 2012
Kingsway 7th August
Title: Heaven is my Home
First Line: You gave me life in the hope of eternity
Artist: Mike Harvie/ALM
Composer: Mike Harvie
Album: I am Future
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL:Yes, from CCL site
Popular sources: Too new yet
My thoughts: I'm getting wise to Kingsway's methods, before this was even posted I knew they were going to choose one from this new "yoof" ministry album, released in the last couple of days from the ALM stable. And - shame on me - I had already decided it probably wasn't going to be my thing - a bit too grungie with rock guitars and shouty voices and I prefer the quiet, meditative stuff. Well, yes, it is grungie, "yoofy" and shouty, but actually...I quite like it. In fact, when I first saw the words and the music I thought it was maybe a slower number, but no, it's a dance and wave your arms around job. The music is indeed marked as 145bpm, but I think this particular song is versatile and I could slow that right down to maybe 90bpm and see what it sounds like. Seriously. I do this a lot with choruses - speed them up and slow them down and sometimes they take on a whole new life. So, I thank ALM for a new project, albeit brief. And it is a mighty fine "anthemy" chorus with good words for the next generation of worshippers and all power to them. (Albeit it reminds me a bit of 50 Ways to Say Goodbye. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing!)
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 13th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: You gave me life in the hope of eternity
Artist: Mike Harvie/ALM
Composer: Mike Harvie
Album: I am Future
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL:Yes, from CCL site
Popular sources: Too new yet
My thoughts: I'm getting wise to Kingsway's methods, before this was even posted I knew they were going to choose one from this new "yoof" ministry album, released in the last couple of days from the ALM stable. And - shame on me - I had already decided it probably wasn't going to be my thing - a bit too grungie with rock guitars and shouty voices and I prefer the quiet, meditative stuff. Well, yes, it is grungie, "yoofy" and shouty, but actually...I quite like it. In fact, when I first saw the words and the music I thought it was maybe a slower number, but no, it's a dance and wave your arms around job. The music is indeed marked as 145bpm, but I think this particular song is versatile and I could slow that right down to maybe 90bpm and see what it sounds like. Seriously. I do this a lot with choruses - speed them up and slow them down and sometimes they take on a whole new life. So, I thank ALM for a new project, albeit brief. And it is a mighty fine "anthemy" chorus with good words for the next generation of worshippers and all power to them. (Albeit it reminds me a bit of 50 Ways to Say Goodbye. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing!)
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 13th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Monday 6 August 2012
Follow through
I realised today that I hadn't followed through on this blog about this.
For my own benefit at least, I don't want to go through this blog later and say to myself - well, what did happen?
Well, obviously, I'm still on duty so nothing dramatic happened, in fact it was extremely civilised (and doubtless a lot better than if I had had it out the day after it occurred) In fact, I feel a bit shamed and humbled by one aspect; it was a total misunderstanding and I had unworthy thoughts of another individual and he a brother in Christ. (That said, yesterday during the sermon the speaker said that they had been more hurt by the attitudes and actions by those in the church than those outside. Their theory is you have higher expectations of those in the church. They are probably right)
For reasons I won't go into, I cannot go see my friend, although I have been told I would be welcome. Let's just say it's political and leave it at that.
I can only pray through the unease...
Although I want to keep this blog WL related - it was, in the beginning going to be purely factual and has ended up rather more personal - I am not immune to the disease of patriotism going round the country at the moment. I love lawn tennis, and was overjoyed to see Murray finally get a title that really is as close to a Slam as he has got so far.
Just come into my head - that hymn I vow to thee, my country, a favourite of mine, albeit I think it is a bit abstract to sing on a Sunday morning. I've always been moderately patriotic, but the "homesickness" I feel is not for England, or London, but a country far away, to which I will always be loyal and I will have to wait to be part of, and strive to be worthy of.
For my own benefit at least, I don't want to go through this blog later and say to myself - well, what did happen?
Well, obviously, I'm still on duty so nothing dramatic happened, in fact it was extremely civilised (and doubtless a lot better than if I had had it out the day after it occurred) In fact, I feel a bit shamed and humbled by one aspect; it was a total misunderstanding and I had unworthy thoughts of another individual and he a brother in Christ. (That said, yesterday during the sermon the speaker said that they had been more hurt by the attitudes and actions by those in the church than those outside. Their theory is you have higher expectations of those in the church. They are probably right)
For reasons I won't go into, I cannot go see my friend, although I have been told I would be welcome. Let's just say it's political and leave it at that.
I can only pray through the unease...
Although I want to keep this blog WL related - it was, in the beginning going to be purely factual and has ended up rather more personal - I am not immune to the disease of patriotism going round the country at the moment. I love lawn tennis, and was overjoyed to see Murray finally get a title that really is as close to a Slam as he has got so far.
Just come into my head - that hymn I vow to thee, my country, a favourite of mine, albeit I think it is a bit abstract to sing on a Sunday morning. I've always been moderately patriotic, but the "homesickness" I feel is not for England, or London, but a country far away, to which I will always be loyal and I will have to wait to be part of, and strive to be worthy of.
Sunday 5 August 2012
And the greatest of these...
Worship this morning
The King of Love is my Delight
The Love of God is Greater Far
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
You Are God in Heaven - a.k.a. Let my words be few. I used the chorus only
Here I am Waiting
And, totally unplanned, but felt right:
Amazing Grace
Gosh, it feels like a long time since I did that one.
Yes, Love was the theme, and Love and the Potter was the theme of the message.
Still can't shake this unease. There are a number of things causing this, and I'm slowly building a journal of thoughts and it all points to something that seems horribly inevitable. Nothing is inevitable where God is concerned, I need to look at this outside my own understanding.
I heard a story last night of a guy who filmed this monkey at the zoo; the monkey was pointing at a lock as if to say to let him out. Somewhat heartwrenching - you want to fulfill their request, but know it's not in their best interests...
..well, I got something similar today, on a human scale. The desperate request from someone and you don't know if it is the best thing, or, more importantly, inside God's will.
And as an interesting footnote - I have been official worship leader of my church for one year, or at least, this is my 53rd week - Tuesday is the "official" anniversary I suppose, being the first Sunday I led after my predecessor left, but the first day was really 1st August.
The King of Love is my Delight
The Love of God is Greater Far
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
You Are God in Heaven - a.k.a. Let my words be few. I used the chorus only
Here I am Waiting
And, totally unplanned, but felt right:
Amazing Grace
Gosh, it feels like a long time since I did that one.
Yes, Love was the theme, and Love and the Potter was the theme of the message.
Still can't shake this unease. There are a number of things causing this, and I'm slowly building a journal of thoughts and it all points to something that seems horribly inevitable. Nothing is inevitable where God is concerned, I need to look at this outside my own understanding.
I heard a story last night of a guy who filmed this monkey at the zoo; the monkey was pointing at a lock as if to say to let him out. Somewhat heartwrenching - you want to fulfill their request, but know it's not in their best interests...
..well, I got something similar today, on a human scale. The desperate request from someone and you don't know if it is the best thing, or, more importantly, inside God's will.
And as an interesting footnote - I have been official worship leader of my church for one year, or at least, this is my 53rd week - Tuesday is the "official" anniversary I suppose, being the first Sunday I led after my predecessor left, but the first day was really 1st August.
Thursday 2 August 2012
Kingsway 31 July
Title: Together We Shout For Joy
First Line: How beautiful are the feet of those who
Artist: Elim Sound
Composer: Sam Blake, Stephen Gibson, Joel Pridmore & Ian Yates
Album: Sound of Hope
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Unable to confirm (song is still too new, and software/websites likely not caught up!!)
Popular sources: None (See above)
My thoughts: Typical that when I say nothing's going to happen from Kingsway, they suddenly wake up....!....I have a copy of Elim's last offering - Fresh Mercy - which is very much acquired taste, more meditative worship than stuff you can produce in church. This track is very much for the congregation, easy to learn, well I was humming away before the end of the track, and it has an obligatory anthem "For the Lord reigns". It's good - but it is fairly typical stuff, and hasn't registered on the wow factor scale. It will sit on my mp3 player happily for sure, and I might even do a chord sheet from the music.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 6th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
First Line: How beautiful are the feet of those who
Artist: Elim Sound
Composer: Sam Blake, Stephen Gibson, Joel Pridmore & Ian Yates
Album: Sound of Hope
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Unable to confirm (song is still too new, and software/websites likely not caught up!!)
Popular sources: None (See above)
My thoughts: Typical that when I say nothing's going to happen from Kingsway, they suddenly wake up....!....I have a copy of Elim's last offering - Fresh Mercy - which is very much acquired taste, more meditative worship than stuff you can produce in church. This track is very much for the congregation, easy to learn, well I was humming away before the end of the track, and it has an obligatory anthem "For the Lord reigns". It's good - but it is fairly typical stuff, and hasn't registered on the wow factor scale. It will sit on my mp3 player happily for sure, and I might even do a chord sheet from the music.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 6th August inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.
Wednesday 1 August 2012
Good and bad
Strangely, Kingsway haven't posted anything this week - it may be down to holidays, they may post something later, but has never been this late before - so I'm guessing that there won't be one this week.
I've got a fair bit to occupy my mind anyway.
Got some upsetting news this morning regarding one sick friend, who has basically had a turn for the worse. I won't go into my thoughts here, and at the risk of this maybe sounding strange, it is their spouse that I feel most for, and have the burden from the Lord to pray for - and I do, nightly, and sometimes during the day. We know where the person is going - and so does the spouse - but it doesn't make it any easier to bear - I'm sure one of my followers relates strongly to that, albeit that I cannot. Yet. That day may come for me, and maybe this is what stings my conscience. I am very likely to end up alone for a period of my life and I am so grateful Christ is a Friend, the greatest I could have, because my secular personality...
...I dread to think what my secular personality would do in such a situation...
I should pray for a miracle - but it is actually a little more complicated than that. I believe in miracles, actually I know they exist, but in this situation it is difficult to know what to pray for. It's almost as if God has given me an easy way out in praying primarily for their spouse.
But there was good news today. One of my closest brothers in Christ, as mentioned the other day, is still improving and has come home. This is truly joyous news, and I actually wonder whether I'll be able to visit him next week? It would be good if I can get my act together to do at least that.
I've got a fair bit to occupy my mind anyway.
Got some upsetting news this morning regarding one sick friend, who has basically had a turn for the worse. I won't go into my thoughts here, and at the risk of this maybe sounding strange, it is their spouse that I feel most for, and have the burden from the Lord to pray for - and I do, nightly, and sometimes during the day. We know where the person is going - and so does the spouse - but it doesn't make it any easier to bear - I'm sure one of my followers relates strongly to that, albeit that I cannot. Yet. That day may come for me, and maybe this is what stings my conscience. I am very likely to end up alone for a period of my life and I am so grateful Christ is a Friend, the greatest I could have, because my secular personality...
...I dread to think what my secular personality would do in such a situation...
I should pray for a miracle - but it is actually a little more complicated than that. I believe in miracles, actually I know they exist, but in this situation it is difficult to know what to pray for. It's almost as if God has given me an easy way out in praying primarily for their spouse.
But there was good news today. One of my closest brothers in Christ, as mentioned the other day, is still improving and has come home. This is truly joyous news, and I actually wonder whether I'll be able to visit him next week? It would be good if I can get my act together to do at least that.
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