Been a good week, a very good week.
Yes, went to Llandudno yesterday to see if I could try out a Freshman, in the flesh as it were. Disappointingly, they didn't have a folk body in stock, and they are unlikely to in the near future. The guy I spoke to said something which made sense at the time, but I can only be vague in explaining it; the folk shape on 12-strings is rather weak and he reckons that they couldn't quite get the strength/sound balance right. I did try out it's bigger sister though...and she sounded absolutely gorgeous. It was about £100 more than I wanted to pay, I'm not 100% happy with the machine heads and shape of the body, and it only has a pickup, not an inbuilt tuner as well. SOH (who was set on me buying an Ovation or another Epiphone) said I was mad to walk away for very minor reasons - the sound he said, is all important, and he was impressed. Guy in the shop was very keen to make a sale; offering £50 off of it, or the guitar plus a case for the listed price. Again, SOH said I should have ripped his arm off :-)
I'm thinking it over for at least a week, I think I may try another music shop, but perhaps be not quite so picky on the "model", just be clear in my head what I do want from it. It will be with me, I hope, for a long, long time, I want it to be right.
Practice went very well last night. There are 6 lined up for this week, but we seem to be confident, so one less thing to worry about. Not that I worry about stuff. Oh no. :-)
And another working week ends, sunny, very very hot, but here's to a blessed weekend, wherever you are.
Friday 30 September 2011
Wednesday 28 September 2011
Feel a little guilty...
I played my guitar a bit on Monday, just to check the submissions this week, one questionable one (maybe the key's too low), but I practiced for barely 20 minutes. Didn't practice yesterday, the weather is absolutely glorious today, so maybe not this evening either. Going out on a mission tomorrow (which may or may not include a new guitar), so I'm left with tiny windows in which to practice - tonight after sunset and maybe mid afternoon tomorrow.
After the service on Sunday, the clarinetist had a word from the Lord for me: "You're too hard on yourself" - but I don't want apathy to set in. For the next couple of weeks, there's only 3 of us in the worship group, which may make things easier - or harder, depending on how well those two know the choruses I've picked. Somehow I think having the larger group is easier, especially as I will be missing the flautist for two weeks - her good, strong, melody playing coupled with good rythmn. (Rythmn is my weakness, and I frequently get the melody slightly wrong)
Hand it over to the Lord. Wait. Listen. Hear.
After the service on Sunday, the clarinetist had a word from the Lord for me: "You're too hard on yourself" - but I don't want apathy to set in. For the next couple of weeks, there's only 3 of us in the worship group, which may make things easier - or harder, depending on how well those two know the choruses I've picked. Somehow I think having the larger group is easier, especially as I will be missing the flautist for two weeks - her good, strong, melody playing coupled with good rythmn. (Rythmn is my weakness, and I frequently get the melody slightly wrong)
Hand it over to the Lord. Wait. Listen. Hear.
Monday 26 September 2011
Worship Central
A little aside today.
HMV are stocking Worship Central's Spirit Break Out, as of today.
It always makes me smile when a Christian track or CD makes it big, and I'm not talking Cliff Richard who built himself a huge fanbase in all age ranges. The last one I vividly remember was "Shackles" and I wondered at the time how many people actually realised that the song, sounding like a Pop Idol submission, but irritatingly catchy, was Christian, as it doesn't actually mention God or Jesus at all.
However, this is oh-so-obviously Christian, and even in this day and age where there is room on the shelves due to the popularity of MP3 downloads, this is quite an achievement. Good for them.
HMV are stocking Worship Central's Spirit Break Out, as of today.
It always makes me smile when a Christian track or CD makes it big, and I'm not talking Cliff Richard who built himself a huge fanbase in all age ranges. The last one I vividly remember was "Shackles" and I wondered at the time how many people actually realised that the song, sounding like a Pop Idol submission, but irritatingly catchy, was Christian, as it doesn't actually mention God or Jesus at all.
However, this is oh-so-obviously Christian, and even in this day and age where there is room on the shelves due to the popularity of MP3 downloads, this is quite an achievement. Good for them.
Sunday 25 September 2011
"Even the rocks will sing"
Worship this morning:
Come on and Celebrate
Jesus, Hope of the Nations
I will never be the same again
Take us to the river
Jesus, be the Centre
It's going to be difficult to put into words what happened this morning, and there is a lot to say. Maybe I will manage to say it in one post, maybe postpone some until tomorrow, we'll see.
The pivotal hymn was Take Us To The River, and had a very good, nay, anointed, reception for our first time. When I practiced it earlier this week I had that "tingle" which told me that the hymn was right for the week, and the choruses that were picked around it (and this took time to work out) slotted in perfectly. The pastor has requested it for next week too - which may be a problem as all 5 have already been picked. Something is telling me to still go ahead with what we have; there is no hymn next week, so I can shorten the last two choruses.
A couple of months ago, we had visitors from a satellite TV station. The worship was just my predecessor, me, and the pianist. The anointing that fell that night was incredible, so overwhelming I felt privileged to be part of it.
Which was exactly how I felt this morning as the anointing fell early on and built to a crescendo (earlier post, blessings come back at you via God when the congregation praise God during worship).
I needed it; that morning had started badly, and I couldn't help but think of my post yesterday which spoke of the eye of the hurricane. I was prayed for before the service, and the clarinetist prayed that the worship would be so good even the rocks will sing.
The sound coming from the rocks was deafening.
During the last chorus, my fingers locked up as if arthritic or tired. I could have prayed for the strength to return. Instead, I wondered if God was trying to tell me to stop playing. I stopped playing. I sang. Everyone stopped playing, apart from the flute. Just the beautiful woodwind and our voices in harmony. The Spirit flowed like a wind through the congregation. How can I describe it? Overwhelming love.
I noticed, fairly late in the week the pattern that emerged from the choruses this week, without me even realising it:
Come on and Celebrate
Jesus, Hope of the Nations
I will never be the same again
Take us to the river
Jesus, be the Centre
It's going to be difficult to put into words what happened this morning, and there is a lot to say. Maybe I will manage to say it in one post, maybe postpone some until tomorrow, we'll see.
The pivotal hymn was Take Us To The River, and had a very good, nay, anointed, reception for our first time. When I practiced it earlier this week I had that "tingle" which told me that the hymn was right for the week, and the choruses that were picked around it (and this took time to work out) slotted in perfectly. The pastor has requested it for next week too - which may be a problem as all 5 have already been picked. Something is telling me to still go ahead with what we have; there is no hymn next week, so I can shorten the last two choruses.
A couple of months ago, we had visitors from a satellite TV station. The worship was just my predecessor, me, and the pianist. The anointing that fell that night was incredible, so overwhelming I felt privileged to be part of it.
Which was exactly how I felt this morning as the anointing fell early on and built to a crescendo (earlier post, blessings come back at you via God when the congregation praise God during worship).
I needed it; that morning had started badly, and I couldn't help but think of my post yesterday which spoke of the eye of the hurricane. I was prayed for before the service, and the clarinetist prayed that the worship would be so good even the rocks will sing.
The sound coming from the rocks was deafening.
During the last chorus, my fingers locked up as if arthritic or tired. I could have prayed for the strength to return. Instead, I wondered if God was trying to tell me to stop playing. I stopped playing. I sang. Everyone stopped playing, apart from the flute. Just the beautiful woodwind and our voices in harmony. The Spirit flowed like a wind through the congregation. How can I describe it? Overwhelming love.
I noticed, fairly late in the week the pattern that emerged from the choruses this week, without me even realising it:
- The Rock who is Christ
- The Fire of the Spirit
- The Water that cleanses
- The Wind which revives
Saturday 24 September 2011
Mama told me there'd be days like this
I don't know if I'm passing through the eye of a hurricane, or whether I have just endured one. Whichever - I'm calmer, more focussed in the last couple of days. (Post title is based on Van Morrison song)
The message at last night's Bible Study set off a maelstrom in my brain, and when it settled gave me overwhelming peace. (A joke the pastor likes to share: "The message was terrible - it made me think.")
One of the key points was that we should aim to be like Nathanael, the Israelite in which there is no guile. Or, as an actor once described Humphrey Bogart: "He is 100% of what he is, and that's rich."
Exactly what I should aim to be, up there, under a hot light (not a spotlight), playing a guitar, not acting, just directing the worship into the throne room of God. Ponder that for too long and you could get scared. Put your fear into God's hands and suddenly the meaning of the choruses become real to you.
I'm early with next week's choruses and hymns, and everything did fall into place (like a flick of a switch) - one pivotal hymn and an old chorus that I knew fit perfectly, and what did the pastor also say last night, after I had picked said chorus? We should all act and believe we are part of God's family...the chorus that had been put on my heart so suddenly? Father God I wonder. Just try and tell me God wasn't in on that.
I made a difficult decision today to not take a music exam this autumn, and take it instead in the spring; tutor was fine with that, I'm going to spend the few months strengthening my voice for maybe a higher level.
It seems fitting I will post more about the testimony around this week's choruses tomorrow, and the pattern that emerged without me even realising it. God is good. All the time. All the time, God is good.
The message at last night's Bible Study set off a maelstrom in my brain, and when it settled gave me overwhelming peace. (A joke the pastor likes to share: "The message was terrible - it made me think.")
One of the key points was that we should aim to be like Nathanael, the Israelite in which there is no guile. Or, as an actor once described Humphrey Bogart: "He is 100% of what he is, and that's rich."
Exactly what I should aim to be, up there, under a hot light (not a spotlight), playing a guitar, not acting, just directing the worship into the throne room of God. Ponder that for too long and you could get scared. Put your fear into God's hands and suddenly the meaning of the choruses become real to you.
I'm early with next week's choruses and hymns, and everything did fall into place (like a flick of a switch) - one pivotal hymn and an old chorus that I knew fit perfectly, and what did the pastor also say last night, after I had picked said chorus? We should all act and believe we are part of God's family...the chorus that had been put on my heart so suddenly? Father God I wonder. Just try and tell me God wasn't in on that.
I made a difficult decision today to not take a music exam this autumn, and take it instead in the spring; tutor was fine with that, I'm going to spend the few months strengthening my voice for maybe a higher level.
It seems fitting I will post more about the testimony around this week's choruses tomorrow, and the pattern that emerged without me even realising it. God is good. All the time. All the time, God is good.
Thursday 22 September 2011
Catchup and Pickup
Monday I was worrying about the song choices. I think maybe I'll save that for a later post, because there's quite a testimony behind it. The pivotal hymn is still there, but no less than 3 were dropped from the original lineup.
Anyway, for some time I've been thinking about getting a new guitar. My current one does not have a pickup or tuner, although that isn't a problem for me or PA man, it would be a nice-to-have. And although I do have all sorts of tuning implements, tuning 12 strings can be a pain. Many a time I've sweated 5 minutes before start of play on Sunday trying to get them all sounding nicely in tune.
The current guitar could be converted, be sanded down and repolished, new bridge maybe and definitely new machine heads. But. I am rather emotionally attached to it as it is. It's had a hard 6 months and I want to give it a holiday from being bashed around, doing a task that takes it to the very limit of the intended purpose. For sentimental reasons, I do not want to change the very essence of what it is, and selling it would be unthinkable. There's a lot of history in that guitar, it would be almost like chopping off a part of me - or getting Botox injections :-). I'd lose something of myself if I sold it, or it wouldn't look like I wanted to remember it, even if it looked better - ugh maybe I haven't explained that too well, but I know what I mean.
This one looks a beauty, one fit for purpose and serious. Not too expensive, not too cheap. Tuner and pickup, the latter I will discuss with PA man, who recently installed a new setup. Next Thursday (day off) I'm going to Llandudno to see if I can play one and see how it sounds.
Anyway, for some time I've been thinking about getting a new guitar. My current one does not have a pickup or tuner, although that isn't a problem for me or PA man, it would be a nice-to-have. And although I do have all sorts of tuning implements, tuning 12 strings can be a pain. Many a time I've sweated 5 minutes before start of play on Sunday trying to get them all sounding nicely in tune.
The current guitar could be converted, be sanded down and repolished, new bridge maybe and definitely new machine heads. But. I am rather emotionally attached to it as it is. It's had a hard 6 months and I want to give it a holiday from being bashed around, doing a task that takes it to the very limit of the intended purpose. For sentimental reasons, I do not want to change the very essence of what it is, and selling it would be unthinkable. There's a lot of history in that guitar, it would be almost like chopping off a part of me - or getting Botox injections :-). I'd lose something of myself if I sold it, or it wouldn't look like I wanted to remember it, even if it looked better - ugh maybe I haven't explained that too well, but I know what I mean.
This one looks a beauty, one fit for purpose and serious. Not too expensive, not too cheap. Tuner and pickup, the latter I will discuss with PA man, who recently installed a new setup. Next Thursday (day off) I'm going to Llandudno to see if I can play one and see how it sounds.
Tuesday 20 September 2011
Highs and lows
Just to get one thing straight at the beginning: a worship leader at no time should be thinking that it is by their own ability that they are riding a "high", and conversely, to never automatically think that it is by their own failings that they feel like they've crashed underneath a mighty wave.
I thought I could read my predecessor quite well. If she sat down after worship looking like a smug cat, and the congregation were awake and alive, I knew she was feeling good about the day's work, she was riding a high. If she slouched back to her seat after a quick nod to the rest of us to thank us for our input, she'd crashed into a low - the congregation just hadn't responded.
I know how she feels now, exactly how she feels. If you've worked your guts out, or poured your whole soul and spirit it seems like into the week's worship, and the congregation have not responded well to it, it is so so easy to blame yourself and dip into the low.
But I'm learning something. Worship leading isn't a "gig", "performance" or "show" it is a duty and even we forget sometimes. Matt Redman fell into that hole once and wrote "Heart of Worship" as a result. It becomes a testimony, but I don't think I want to experience that one - that said, I hope that the senior people at the church can be honest enough with me to say: "Fiona, this morning showed us your heart is all wrong with God. Stop leading for a few weeks. Get right with God."
So, you're right with God. God anoints the WL, who in turn blesses the congregation, who in turn bless God, who in turn blesses the WL...and so on. 2 Corinthians something in action....7?...8?...can't remember and this particular puta is too slow to go to bible.com. Anyway, you get my meaning.
A minister I knew spoke of those statements in Psalms: "The fool has said in his heart, there is no God". Although, yes, referring to the unbeliever, you could equally say anyone could say that there is no God. Remove the italicised bit. It becomes "No, God. I don't want your blessing. I'm too comfortable as I am." - this person is perhaps the biggest fool, but aren't we all guilty of it, at some time?
Your duty, as WL, is to be right, clean, with God, bestow the blessing through the music and hope that the congregation is receptive to say "Yes, God", because then the blessing comes right back atcha via God. That's when you become the smug cat.
But don't be discouraged if it doesn't come back. Maybe you weren't right for the day? Or just maybe, the congregation weren't. You've done your duty, and maybe the blessing will come later. Endurance, perseverance, patience...do the tasks set to you faithfully and the reward will come, but don't be trying to prethink the motives, or actions, of God.
I thought I could read my predecessor quite well. If she sat down after worship looking like a smug cat, and the congregation were awake and alive, I knew she was feeling good about the day's work, she was riding a high. If she slouched back to her seat after a quick nod to the rest of us to thank us for our input, she'd crashed into a low - the congregation just hadn't responded.
I know how she feels now, exactly how she feels. If you've worked your guts out, or poured your whole soul and spirit it seems like into the week's worship, and the congregation have not responded well to it, it is so so easy to blame yourself and dip into the low.
But I'm learning something. Worship leading isn't a "gig", "performance" or "show" it is a duty and even we forget sometimes. Matt Redman fell into that hole once and wrote "Heart of Worship" as a result. It becomes a testimony, but I don't think I want to experience that one - that said, I hope that the senior people at the church can be honest enough with me to say: "Fiona, this morning showed us your heart is all wrong with God. Stop leading for a few weeks. Get right with God."
So, you're right with God. God anoints the WL, who in turn blesses the congregation, who in turn bless God, who in turn blesses the WL...and so on. 2 Corinthians something in action....7?...8?...can't remember and this particular puta is too slow to go to bible.com. Anyway, you get my meaning.
A minister I knew spoke of those statements in Psalms: "The fool has said in his heart, there is no God". Although, yes, referring to the unbeliever, you could equally say anyone could say that there is no God. Remove the italicised bit. It becomes "No, God. I don't want your blessing. I'm too comfortable as I am." - this person is perhaps the biggest fool, but aren't we all guilty of it, at some time?
Your duty, as WL, is to be right, clean, with God, bestow the blessing through the music and hope that the congregation is receptive to say "Yes, God", because then the blessing comes right back atcha via God. That's when you become the smug cat.
But don't be discouraged if it doesn't come back. Maybe you weren't right for the day? Or just maybe, the congregation weren't. You've done your duty, and maybe the blessing will come later. Endurance, perseverance, patience...do the tasks set to you faithfully and the reward will come, but don't be trying to prethink the motives, or actions, of God.
Monday 19 September 2011
Uncertainty
I came from a stressful job, so I should be used to pressure. Never thought I'd feel it in my personal/social life, rather than my worklife (which is pretty much stress free, a blessing in this day and age)
As always, there is a "pivotal" hymn this week, and others have been chosen to surround them. They slotted in like someone pencilling in the last 5 numbers on a sodoku puzzle....apart from one.
I don't know the pivotal hymn very well, but as always I feel the Spirit saying..."You DARE take that out..", so I guess I'm going to be obedient and learn it properly. But that one isn't really the problem, at hymn number 2. It's chorus number 5.
Chorus number 4 is a beautiful Brian Doerksen which fits nicely with the previous 3, and I just know the time is right for it. It is in D usually, but found it pitched too high, so brought it down to Bb. A worship chorus I know (chorus number 5) also in Bb seems to fit OK but I'm not so sure it is comfortable around the rest of the family. I then decided, actually, Bb is too low for the BD so am trusting God and my singing tutor - and bringing it back up to D. Meaning that the last one really does have to be in D, but actually I can safely say although, praise God, my voice is improving so I can sing D and E5 without squeaking, I have to consider the pew-sitters (who will be sitting by that point).
But do I want to change it at this late-ish hour? May have to delay my normal despatch by a day whilst I have a pray about it.
As always, there is a "pivotal" hymn this week, and others have been chosen to surround them. They slotted in like someone pencilling in the last 5 numbers on a sodoku puzzle....apart from one.
I don't know the pivotal hymn very well, but as always I feel the Spirit saying..."You DARE take that out..", so I guess I'm going to be obedient and learn it properly. But that one isn't really the problem, at hymn number 2. It's chorus number 5.
Chorus number 4 is a beautiful Brian Doerksen which fits nicely with the previous 3, and I just know the time is right for it. It is in D usually, but found it pitched too high, so brought it down to Bb. A worship chorus I know (chorus number 5) also in Bb seems to fit OK but I'm not so sure it is comfortable around the rest of the family. I then decided, actually, Bb is too low for the BD so am trusting God and my singing tutor - and bringing it back up to D. Meaning that the last one really does have to be in D, but actually I can safely say although, praise God, my voice is improving so I can sing D and E5 without squeaking, I have to consider the pew-sitters (who will be sitting by that point).
But do I want to change it at this late-ish hour? May have to delay my normal despatch by a day whilst I have a pray about it.
Sunday 18 September 2011
Drift and pray
Worship this morning:
I believe in Jesus
Jesus! the name high over all (shared some good news)
Light of the World (prayer)
I know a place, a wonderful place (drift to...)
Jesus, all for Jesus
It was good, I just get this feeling that God wants me to be more. Somewhat more settled today, even if the PA system wasn't. :-)
On a side note for next week - the series should have moved on, but in fact today's speaker wants to carry on the same vein next week from a different angle. As I've said before, God tends to put a certain chorus or hymn on my heart and it builds from there. The hymn this week was slightly on a tangent from the subject, or so I thought until I saw the theme emerging from the sermon this morning, and now find it is near perfect for next week. The Spirit is amazing.
The biggest problem now is that I don't know the hymn that well, only hummed along to it before now. Something inside me is telling me to persevere with it, as all the other choruses are ready. Trouble is, Musescore is fighting back with it....thought just occurred to me - I don't actually need to do MS as I'm playing it in the key that is in SOF.
<sigh> Trust. I always seem to make things difficult for myself.
I believe in Jesus
Jesus! the name high over all (shared some good news)
Light of the World (prayer)
I know a place, a wonderful place (drift to...)
Jesus, all for Jesus
It was good, I just get this feeling that God wants me to be more. Somewhat more settled today, even if the PA system wasn't. :-)
On a side note for next week - the series should have moved on, but in fact today's speaker wants to carry on the same vein next week from a different angle. As I've said before, God tends to put a certain chorus or hymn on my heart and it builds from there. The hymn this week was slightly on a tangent from the subject, or so I thought until I saw the theme emerging from the sermon this morning, and now find it is near perfect for next week. The Spirit is amazing.
The biggest problem now is that I don't know the hymn that well, only hummed along to it before now. Something inside me is telling me to persevere with it, as all the other choruses are ready. Trouble is, Musescore is fighting back with it....thought just occurred to me - I don't actually need to do MS as I'm playing it in the key that is in SOF.
<sigh> Trust. I always seem to make things difficult for myself.
Saturday 17 September 2011
Praise through the hard times
I learned a lot of what I do now at the feet (almost literally, she stood, I sat) of a wonderful local worship leader. She's been through it, and you know that sometimes we have to go through the fire - how can we be refined otherwise?
She spoke of a time when she was experiencing health and personal problems and was crying out to God, who said to her clearly, "But you've praised Me throughout this, haven't you?" Yes, she said, the only thing that keeps me going and the only thing that I can do when everything else fails.
When the evil one tries to tighten the grip of fear, worry, tension, heartache, adversity, resentment (list is not exhaustible) praise God and the devil will flee, leaving Jesus to heal the wounds that have been left behind.
Thursday night practice, I thought beforehand that I couldn't make it through, yet once there, I felt 2 Chron 20 in action. The battle is the Lord's: stand therefore, do what you can do, if you can speak, if you can sing, you can praise. I don't know how much the group knew of what was going on with me, I can say that at least one person there knew most of the story and stayed throughout even though they didn't have to (we both know why he did; and I thank the Lord for him), I don't think the rest of them could tell. And that's how it should be: you can't let it show, because the enemy gets in again.
I am tired though. I have harder work in my personal life now, but what else can I do except pick up my guitar and sing praises to my King, who is carrying me through this?
She spoke of a time when she was experiencing health and personal problems and was crying out to God, who said to her clearly, "But you've praised Me throughout this, haven't you?" Yes, she said, the only thing that keeps me going and the only thing that I can do when everything else fails.
When the evil one tries to tighten the grip of fear, worry, tension, heartache, adversity, resentment (list is not exhaustible) praise God and the devil will flee, leaving Jesus to heal the wounds that have been left behind.
Thursday night practice, I thought beforehand that I couldn't make it through, yet once there, I felt 2 Chron 20 in action. The battle is the Lord's: stand therefore, do what you can do, if you can speak, if you can sing, you can praise. I don't know how much the group knew of what was going on with me, I can say that at least one person there knew most of the story and stayed throughout even though they didn't have to (we both know why he did; and I thank the Lord for him), I don't think the rest of them could tell. And that's how it should be: you can't let it show, because the enemy gets in again.
I am tired though. I have harder work in my personal life now, but what else can I do except pick up my guitar and sing praises to my King, who is carrying me through this?
Tuesday 13 September 2011
Or maybe not
It's a good job I'm starting to get a bit more disciplined, and cautious, before sending the music out. Laid all 5 choruses/hymns side by side in Musescore last night, ready to convert to .png files and found
What is interesting is that from the original selection, only 2 got dropped. Looking back (they were picked just over a week ago) it was possibly a selfish impulse or a "that will do" attitude, not the Spirit that chose them. The new ones (in the same key) coupled with another key change, and it's all sorted. Felt close to crying, was it relief, or was He jumping for joy? It can be either - wonderful feeling either way.
- No one key was the same
- It was a bit heavy on one sentiment
- The "feel" of them together was all wrong (probably as a result of above)
What is interesting is that from the original selection, only 2 got dropped. Looking back (they were picked just over a week ago) it was possibly a selfish impulse or a "that will do" attitude, not the Spirit that chose them. The new ones (in the same key) coupled with another key change, and it's all sorted. Felt close to crying, was it relief, or was He jumping for joy? It can be either - wonderful feeling either way.
Monday 12 September 2011
Confidence is a preference
Okay, I'm more together this week. Musescores all done and just a couple of short chord sheets with minor key and aesthetic changes.
Still feeling a bit "meh" about some aspects of my life, and it's an attitude that has to change. How I'm going to encourage the flame to burn again I'm not sure, maybe I'll find it in a Bible verse, or during some meditation, or even when I'm practising.
For sure, there is a lot of stuff that needs kicking into touch. But then I think - doesn't everybody have hangups and stuff they don't like about themselves, and garbage that God wants to chuck out? Trouble is, I've never been much good at spring cleaning....
Still feeling a bit "meh" about some aspects of my life, and it's an attitude that has to change. How I'm going to encourage the flame to burn again I'm not sure, maybe I'll find it in a Bible verse, or during some meditation, or even when I'm practising.
For sure, there is a lot of stuff that needs kicking into touch. But then I think - doesn't everybody have hangups and stuff they don't like about themselves, and garbage that God wants to chuck out? Trouble is, I've never been much good at spring cleaning....
Sunday 11 September 2011
Not by my strength
Worship this morning:
Praise is Rising
We Believe
All my Days
Into Your Hands
Holy Spirit, how I love You
And I did do the drift, merge and reprise that I blogged about yesterday, and it went well (although I lost the rythmn a bit). No, it went more than well, it went great. If I feel it's no longer me playing, my talent is limited, I know the Spirit has taken over. It's incredibly humbling.
Praise is Rising
We Believe
All my Days
Into Your Hands
Holy Spirit, how I love You
And I did do the drift, merge and reprise that I blogged about yesterday, and it went well (although I lost the rythmn a bit). No, it went more than well, it went great. If I feel it's no longer me playing, my talent is limited, I know the Spirit has taken over. It's incredibly humbling.
Saturday 10 September 2011
Merging and drifting
Sometimes you can get two worship songs that just merge beautifully in the right way. I'm not talking about those that can follow on directly from one another, I've done that a fair bit, I mean merge, when you drift from one to another then reprise the former and sometimes drift to the latter.
First attempt tomorrow - if the Spirit feels right. I won't do it if the service doesn't seem to be going that way. Would be a disappointment, but I figure I have some months, if not years, to get this right.
A worry at the moment is I'm feeling like I'm drifting spiritually, like I'm detached, like this is happening to someone else, that I'm being rather business like, duty bound if you will to do this, and horrors, having thoughts of dropping the whole thing out of "boredom". I have had this before, many years ago, just before I backslid. At least, I suppose, I'm recognising it this time, the old familiar thoughts, my old demons saying I'm not good enough, not worthy, this is a passing fad.
Lord, hold me tightly. Don't let me go I plead. But I know that He won't. I originally wrote "this time", the old demons again, GO AWAY. It wasn't He that let me go. It was me that walked away. I'm not going to walk away, I'm determined to be faithful.
First attempt tomorrow - if the Spirit feels right. I won't do it if the service doesn't seem to be going that way. Would be a disappointment, but I figure I have some months, if not years, to get this right.
A worry at the moment is I'm feeling like I'm drifting spiritually, like I'm detached, like this is happening to someone else, that I'm being rather business like, duty bound if you will to do this, and horrors, having thoughts of dropping the whole thing out of "boredom". I have had this before, many years ago, just before I backslid. At least, I suppose, I'm recognising it this time, the old familiar thoughts, my old demons saying I'm not good enough, not worthy, this is a passing fad.
Lord, hold me tightly. Don't let me go I plead. But I know that He won't. I originally wrote "this time", the old demons again, GO AWAY. It wasn't He that let me go. It was me that walked away. I'm not going to walk away, I'm determined to be faithful.
Thursday 8 September 2011
Umm...just one...more...thing...
Make sure you get the melody right.
Just because you're used to singing something one way, doesn't mean it's the right way.
Listen to it on YouTube or the SOF CDs. Saves embarassment. :-)
Just because you're used to singing something one way, doesn't mean it's the right way.
Listen to it on YouTube or the SOF CDs. Saves embarassment. :-)
Wednesday 7 September 2011
Phew
4 chord sheets, 1 Musescore write up and 1 Musescore adjustment later, quick strum about and found they're pitched okay, and off they went to the group last night.
I like my choices this week, I think they are a good balance and fit together really well. One of them is in rather begrudgingly because it is extremely difficult to lead effectively without the congregation trying to run away with it. However - every time I tried to write it off the list, God found a place for it as choruses were re-arranged and re-chosen and still that "Praise Chorus/Hymn" gap remained. As I believe He is trying to tell me something, I don't fight this any more. If He's in there, it will go OK.
Got to pick the choruses for the final Friday, but this shouldn't take me too long, but I have actually picked the hymns/choruses for 18th September (I know what the theme is going to be), which was triggered by a song I heard on my MP3 player. A couple of words about said MP3 player. I only got it last week, and put 200 songs on it, most of which I had not heard as I didn't have time to listen to them on the CD - popped them on there so I don't have to hunt down my CD player and I can listen on my way to work. Although my travel time isn't long (I get more of a chance if I go shopping 5 miles up the road on the bus, or when I go to singing lessons) it is proving to be an invaluable resource. I heard the track, and discovered later it is around 20 years old (and helps that the person who wrote it is actually singing it, you get the artist's cut as it were, which is usually the best one), but I thought, oh this would be fab for the next installment of the series.
And if you're wondering why I always refer to choruses and hymns in the abstract, it's in case I change my mind (or God changes it) before the event. Terribly anal I know, but I'm the worst for saying something will happen or be said and it all gets turned on its head. Just lately, I've wanted to temper this.
I like my choices this week, I think they are a good balance and fit together really well. One of them is in rather begrudgingly because it is extremely difficult to lead effectively without the congregation trying to run away with it. However - every time I tried to write it off the list, God found a place for it as choruses were re-arranged and re-chosen and still that "Praise Chorus/Hymn" gap remained. As I believe He is trying to tell me something, I don't fight this any more. If He's in there, it will go OK.
Got to pick the choruses for the final Friday, but this shouldn't take me too long, but I have actually picked the hymns/choruses for 18th September (I know what the theme is going to be), which was triggered by a song I heard on my MP3 player. A couple of words about said MP3 player. I only got it last week, and put 200 songs on it, most of which I had not heard as I didn't have time to listen to them on the CD - popped them on there so I don't have to hunt down my CD player and I can listen on my way to work. Although my travel time isn't long (I get more of a chance if I go shopping 5 miles up the road on the bus, or when I go to singing lessons) it is proving to be an invaluable resource. I heard the track, and discovered later it is around 20 years old (and helps that the person who wrote it is actually singing it, you get the artist's cut as it were, which is usually the best one), but I thought, oh this would be fab for the next installment of the series.
And if you're wondering why I always refer to choruses and hymns in the abstract, it's in case I change my mind (or God changes it) before the event. Terribly anal I know, but I'm the worst for saying something will happen or be said and it all gets turned on its head. Just lately, I've wanted to temper this.
Monday 5 September 2011
Maybe not so much of a sacrifice...
I like to get everything, bar chord sheets out of the way Monday night, Tuesday night latest. Had a bit of a lazy one this weekend, and besides, it's probably best if I leave Musescore etc alone on a Sunday to give my brain a break.
However - forgot (until a phone call last night) that I'm going out tonight (church business), and so this means that WL work is going to have to wait to Tuesday night - although I could probably get a fair bit this evening before going out. Then there's practice. I never take for granted that I can play something at a decent standard, and I like to do a little of that before sending off to the group, and of course to make sure it "sounds" okay, fits together nicely, I haven't given me and the other guitarist a ridiculous or hand twisting chord change, I can sing it without sounding like Kylie Minogue on helium, so forth, so fifth.
Asides that, I have to pick the choruses for Friday too, so I'm in for a busy week. Could be awkward for other reasons that I won't go into here. This blog is for recording my WL activities, not other stuff, beit church related or not.
So, giving up Friday night is perhaps not so much a sacrifice at all, more a necessity before something imploded.
However - forgot (until a phone call last night) that I'm going out tonight (church business), and so this means that WL work is going to have to wait to Tuesday night - although I could probably get a fair bit this evening before going out. Then there's practice. I never take for granted that I can play something at a decent standard, and I like to do a little of that before sending off to the group, and of course to make sure it "sounds" okay, fits together nicely, I haven't given me and the other guitarist a ridiculous or hand twisting chord change, I can sing it without sounding like Kylie Minogue on helium, so forth, so fifth.
Asides that, I have to pick the choruses for Friday too, so I'm in for a busy week. Could be awkward for other reasons that I won't go into here. This blog is for recording my WL activities, not other stuff, beit church related or not.
So, giving up Friday night is perhaps not so much a sacrifice at all, more a necessity before something imploded.
Sunday 4 September 2011
Ministry worship
Worship today was:
Jesus is the Name we Honour
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I will Never be the Same Again
We Bow Down
We had a visiting speaker, and I was asked to play at the end during ministry. The clarinet joined in and it sounded great:
I will Never be the Same Again
Be Still
Here I am waiting
Quiet crowd this morning, and some new faces. For once, it was nearly standing room only; we put out about 50 chairs I guess, and nearly every one was occupied. Word gets around when we have an international speaker who has a healing ministry.
Our church has never been one for having worship at the end of the service, but I agreed with the leader this morning that should there be "official" ministry at the end of the service, I won't wait to be asked, I'll just quietly go up there and do it. Realised that it was the first time that this had happened whilst I have been WL, yet I was completely unfazed. Praise God.
Jesus is the Name we Honour
How Deep the Father's Love for Us
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I will Never be the Same Again
We Bow Down
We had a visiting speaker, and I was asked to play at the end during ministry. The clarinet joined in and it sounded great:
I will Never be the Same Again
Be Still
Here I am waiting
Quiet crowd this morning, and some new faces. For once, it was nearly standing room only; we put out about 50 chairs I guess, and nearly every one was occupied. Word gets around when we have an international speaker who has a healing ministry.
Our church has never been one for having worship at the end of the service, but I agreed with the leader this morning that should there be "official" ministry at the end of the service, I won't wait to be asked, I'll just quietly go up there and do it. Realised that it was the first time that this had happened whilst I have been WL, yet I was completely unfazed. Praise God.
Saturday 3 September 2011
A sacrifice - or no?
Next Friday will be the last time I "officially" worship lead at Bible study, I've given it to the other guitarist.
Something inside me is sorry, it was where it all began, and I feel I haven't really been doing it that long. (3 or 4 months maybe, last 12 weeks has been every other week with Alpha).
I think I could well miss it, and I suspect that there will be plenty of opportunities to pick up either Alpha or Bible study worship, when the said guitarist or the pianist who does Alpha can't do it for whatever reason. There's something special about the "cosyness" of a small group singing simple choruses or well-loved hymns, very free and easy, away from the more prayerful picks for Sunday.
Actually, I'm already missing it. But my time on worship leading just for Sunday are somewhere between 20 and 30 hours a week, approx the same again, if not more, than the hours I work in my day job. Something's gotta give, and Friday night Bible study was it. It also gives me the option of not going to either, if I'm just tired out and need some quality time with the one I love. God - have I made the right sacrifice?
Something inside me is sorry, it was where it all began, and I feel I haven't really been doing it that long. (3 or 4 months maybe, last 12 weeks has been every other week with Alpha).
I think I could well miss it, and I suspect that there will be plenty of opportunities to pick up either Alpha or Bible study worship, when the said guitarist or the pianist who does Alpha can't do it for whatever reason. There's something special about the "cosyness" of a small group singing simple choruses or well-loved hymns, very free and easy, away from the more prayerful picks for Sunday.
Actually, I'm already missing it. But my time on worship leading just for Sunday are somewhere between 20 and 30 hours a week, approx the same again, if not more, than the hours I work in my day job. Something's gotta give, and Friday night Bible study was it. It also gives me the option of not going to either, if I'm just tired out and need some quality time with the one I love. God - have I made the right sacrifice?
Friday 2 September 2011
Many gifts, one body
1 Corinthians 12:12 For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. KJV 1611
Paul was talking about gifts of the spirit, but this can apply to gifts or talents in the church.
Musicians, "technically", are higher up the pecking order in church heirarchy. Doubtless, in Corinth, there was this "I prophesy, but you only speak in tongues, nyah nyah nyah" going on.
Each has their own gift, or talent, to give to God, via the church. But to "puffeth oneself up" is wrong, causes division, and hurt in some cases.
Pride is something I fight with all the time. I try to remind myself that I'm not doing this for me, or the church, primarily, I'm doing it for God.
Paul was talking about gifts of the spirit, but this can apply to gifts or talents in the church.
Musicians, "technically", are higher up the pecking order in church heirarchy. Doubtless, in Corinth, there was this "I prophesy, but you only speak in tongues, nyah nyah nyah" going on.
Each has their own gift, or talent, to give to God, via the church. But to "puffeth oneself up" is wrong, causes division, and hurt in some cases.
Pride is something I fight with all the time. I try to remind myself that I'm not doing this for me, or the church, primarily, I'm doing it for God.
Thursday 1 September 2011
Chorusstorming
It's like brainstorming, only you're looking for choruses and hymns.
If you know the sermon is more specific, you find a webpage on the subject, or you look at the chapter in the Bible. You then write down every single chorus or hymn that comes to mind as you're reading.
I would say, try not to be too obvious, else it could end up cliched. An extreme example would be The Lord's my Shepherd when the sermon is on Psalm 23. Think about what Psalm 23 is saying, so, faith and trust, and think about choruses that invoke faith and trust.
The church is starting a "series" of sermons, and so far, I've gathered about 9 "chorusstorming". I'll definitely try this again.
If you know the sermon is more specific, you find a webpage on the subject, or you look at the chapter in the Bible. You then write down every single chorus or hymn that comes to mind as you're reading.
I would say, try not to be too obvious, else it could end up cliched. An extreme example would be The Lord's my Shepherd when the sermon is on Psalm 23. Think about what Psalm 23 is saying, so, faith and trust, and think about choruses that invoke faith and trust.
The church is starting a "series" of sermons, and so far, I've gathered about 9 "chorusstorming". I'll definitely try this again.
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