I don't know if I'm passing through the eye of a hurricane, or whether I have just endured one. Whichever - I'm calmer, more focussed in the last couple of days. (Post title is based on Van Morrison song)
The message at last night's Bible Study set off a maelstrom in my brain, and when it settled gave me overwhelming peace. (A joke the pastor likes to share: "The message was terrible - it made me think.")
One of the key points was that we should aim to be like Nathanael, the Israelite in which there is no guile. Or, as an actor once described Humphrey Bogart: "He is 100% of what he is, and that's rich."
Exactly what I should aim to be, up there, under a hot light (not a spotlight), playing a guitar, not acting, just directing the worship into the throne room of God. Ponder that for too long and you could get scared. Put your fear into God's hands and suddenly the meaning of the choruses become real to you.
I'm early with next week's choruses and hymns, and everything did fall into place (like a flick of a switch) - one pivotal hymn and an old chorus that I knew fit perfectly, and what did the pastor also say last night, after I had picked said chorus? We should all act and believe we are part of God's family...the chorus that had been put on my heart so suddenly? Father God I wonder. Just try and tell me God wasn't in on that.
I made a difficult decision today to not take a music exam this autumn, and take it instead in the spring; tutor was fine with that, I'm going to spend the few months strengthening my voice for maybe a higher level.
It seems fitting I will post more about the testimony around this week's choruses tomorrow, and the pattern that emerged without me even realising it. God is good. All the time. All the time, God is good.
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