Faith

Almost slap bang in the centre of Lamentations, a book perhaps second only to Revelations in descriptive horror:

"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness." - Lam 3:22-23 KJV 1611

Amazing isn't it, that in the midst of Jeremiah's discourse, when it sounds like it can't get any worse, he praises God that he is still alive.

Worship this morning:

Holy, Holy, God Almighty
Lord I come before Your throne
In Christ Alone
On the Cross
All Hail the Lamb

...and I felt that we needed to carry on singing, so

I just want to praise You

And, unusually, I was invited to play something after the message, and I chose

My Lord, what Love is this

And although they are not out of woods, my friend's act of rebellion was to turn up at church today, despite having a major operation a couple of weeks back.  No, it didn't blow up, it was peaceful, but I sensed a certain tension, which wasn't allowed to develop.  It was good to see them, and when I hugged them goodbye and they said they missed me, I said, me too, more than you know.  It may be a few weeks before I see them again - yes, there's the phone, yes there's email, yes I could even go see them...somehow it's not the same out of the environment of the church.

Yesterday, during prayer, I felt the tangle that I've been caught up in, unravel a little, freedom and sunshine didn't seem as far away than of late.  Maybe clarity is not far behind, maybe I can grasp hold of what God is trying to tell me....

...there was further news today of someone who isn't a member of the church but is a long term friend of many within the church (and his spouse was my predecessor)...let's just say the news, on a mortal level, isn't good.

I have come to understand that death is not an ending - it is a beginning, although it can feel like an ending to those they leave behind.  It is, indeed, a bridge, that we cannot cross (and must not attempt to prematurely - although technically we can!) until God so calls us.   It's the interminable wait though - and maybe the knowledge that when we see them again it will be different and the relationship cannot be as it was on earth - it will in fact be something better.  My SOH agrees though - we may go separately (the likelihood is high in fact - you can probably guess why) - but when we meet again, the relationship will be perhaps more "special" than others, and even those who have had multiple spouses, they will be in some sort of special harmony and they, perhaps, will have more to enjoy, as they have shed the most tears...

I am perhaps being whimsical, it's not something I dwell on much.   Over the next week, I need to quit maudlin, and do more kneeling.