I, like many people, like "searching for property" programs on the TV and I also like Grand Designs.
I think it's something to do with our inerrant nosiness. It isn't so much the finding, its the having a good look about somebody else's patch to get new ideas, or, the worse side of our human nature, to be critical. And there is something about L3 and Grand Designs that turns it into some sort of soap opera, as they seem to pick the most awkward and/or objectionable people in society.
I have never been in the situation where I have the luxury of choice of where to move into. It's always been - location ok for work, tick, price is right, tick, ok when do we move? Forget decor or whether I like the area, at every move there has been a sense of urgency.
Not this time. I have the luxury of choice, although I now think God wants me to settle quickly. And I think I know which church.
3 churches in 3 weeks - although to be fair, I will never attend the first two regularly due to distance. Number 3, went on recommendation and I already know the pastor as he was the other half of my baptism last year.
I was sitting quietly in the service, so far, so good, maybe less charismatic than I was hoping. Unlikely to be any place for me in the music group, long term maybe very occasionally. Am I in this for the long term? Surely it is far too early...
You have something to offer here. You can be part of the change that I am planning.
Was it God's voice? It sure sounded like it.
I spoke to the pastor afterwards, laid all my cards down and was honest. I've parted company with my previous church, with the senior pastor's blessing. I am looking for a new church. He replied that he had been praying specifically for gifted people to come to his church....
...could it be?
I think I will give this place a couple of months, I don't want to be too hopeful too soon. Yes I am cautious. I am also still hurting a little. It will all take time. Awkward, not sure what I want, not forthright, uncertain, little confidence. And no equivalent of Phil or Kirsty to help me.
But I do have God.
My personal experiences... I've moved church basically only twice in 30 years. The first occasion I knew where we'd end up almost immediately. But still determined to allow the Lord opportunity to lead elsewhere by visiting 3 churches in 4 week blocks. So April 1995 we left. September we finally chose the expected place. Christmas I was leading worship. February we were part of the congregation leadership team. That worked well possibly because we took our time choosing. 4 years ago we left that church and simply joined our nearest church albeit somewhat traditional rather than charismatic/evangelical. Again within months I was involved in worship and asked to be part of the prayer ministry team. That immediately caused some relational difficulties with existing musicians. Not sure why but one guy chose to become antagonistic and even tried to bully me by mocking my Clapton lookalike and guitar skills! Weird and I wasn't bothered for myself. Anyway rather than confront, we left after less than a year. And decided we hadn't spent enough time asking God for clear direction. Today I'm Elim and after 3 years I'm still taking my time. Occasional small time worship leading and a few other activities is all. But I'm very comfortable with the church and have determined that pursuing a ministry 'career' is not top priority. God's will for my life is what matters. Sorry for rambling...
ReplyDeleteS'OK Dave, ramble away, always good to hear from you :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm in no hurry, ever since God told me I have an eternity to understand Him.
However, He seems to be making sure that I waste no more time and my life has just been blam-blam-blam-blam one thing after another until I'm dizzy.
I'm just taking it as it comes now.