You can imagine, changing the strings on a 12-string is a discipline. Praise God nowadays I have an inbuilt tuner, because tuning them all by ear doubled the tribulation. Or triples, as the lightweight, sharp strings bite me on the way off and on the way on, as if in protest in being removed, or being wound and stretched for the first time.
It takes 2-2.5 hours, taking into account cleaning and testing. It doesn't take into account one of the strings breaking and me desperately searching my worn-out "spares" for a suitable replacement. Surprisingly (or maybe not) it is the same string that used to break on my old Epiphone, the string that is on there now is not the one for the purpose (is the wrong weight) and it means that I feel I must get a new set and change it before next week. I'm concerned it may break again at a vital moment, i.e. during the Saturday night worship. Yes, there's one of those coming up again. I have a good feeling about it though, that it will go much better than last time.
The minor irritations in life bring the old feelings to the surface. Yes, something happened again recently which irked me, and nearly caused my "crocodile" to snap. Bless....do not curse...bless, do not curse....repeat 20 times....I need a break, I am so busy at work and in WL, and I am gladly taking a break at the beginning of July. No "fast" this time, just quitting thinking about chorusstorming and singing. I may spend some time on WL work, perhaps some future "solo" or ministry choruses, that's what seems to be in my spirit currently. Makes me wonder what God's next move will be. How exciting.
But there's other stuff that makes me feel low in quiet times, a couple of friends are going through it and I worry for their future, and the knock on effect if their world starts to fall apart. They are never too far from my thoughts, and I want to be a better pray-er for them, never easy for me. And thoughts of my future too...where? how? my will or His? I've said before, it's not so much the outcome that worries me, that's assured, it's the journey. I know of at least two people who would practically drag me back if I tried to drift away.
Yet, it may not be their choice; I'm waiting for something that will surely mean some sort of action required of me. I'm ready.
Showing posts with label special nights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label special nights. Show all posts
Friday, 8 June 2012
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
Phase 2
Today I am humming yesterday's Kingsway chorus. I suppose there are worse things to have stuck in your head!
I was having trouble getting motivated into Phase Two of the Great Music Project. I did a little yesterday afternoon/early evening and then was back to doing what I should really start to deal with, spiritually - playing around on various non-expedient games on the internet.
I guess some of this apathy centred around the fact that the special Saturday night next month had been cancelled, and I thought maybe all the frenzied activity was for..well, no, not nothing, but perhaps I have more time to prepare. God, however, bowled a googlie last night (as He does). The night is back on again, due to the fact it has been too widely publicised, and is 4 weeks away. Should have trusted Him I know. All this prep, there was A Reason.
So Phase 2 has to be back on again, and I have to get a plan for the night done within 3 weeks. This is because I have a busy busy busy week leading up to the night (workwise) but hopefully some time off in lieu will have accumulated to allow me to have the Friday off. Discussion with person in charge for the night, as it won't be the usual body. Find out about PA, because that won't be the normal body either.
I'm getting nervous. Believe it or not, this is a good sign.
I was having trouble getting motivated into Phase Two of the Great Music Project. I did a little yesterday afternoon/early evening and then was back to doing what I should really start to deal with, spiritually - playing around on various non-expedient games on the internet.
I guess some of this apathy centred around the fact that the special Saturday night next month had been cancelled, and I thought maybe all the frenzied activity was for..well, no, not nothing, but perhaps I have more time to prepare. God, however, bowled a googlie last night (as He does). The night is back on again, due to the fact it has been too widely publicised, and is 4 weeks away. Should have trusted Him I know. All this prep, there was A Reason.
So Phase 2 has to be back on again, and I have to get a plan for the night done within 3 weeks. This is because I have a busy busy busy week leading up to the night (workwise) but hopefully some time off in lieu will have accumulated to allow me to have the Friday off. Discussion with person in charge for the night, as it won't be the usual body. Find out about PA, because that won't be the normal body either.
I'm getting nervous. Believe it or not, this is a good sign.
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Why does God do this?
Why, when you're feeling your most unworthy, sinful, broken-hearted, useless (I'm sure a few out there could add more and then some)...
...does He start to pour out encouragement after encouragement and blessing after blessing?
In some ways, it makes me feel worse.
My feelings about this morning were largely unfounded. It was good actually, a peaceful service and different (thought I wouldn't want it every week)
The moment I walked in, I had someone encouraging me. Then I heard something that was a further, direct encouragement, shared with the congregation...
...then I got another after the service...
...then more when sitting in the canteen...
...uhhh...Boss, please I don't know how much of this I can take. I lost count of the fruit that was popping up after seeds thrown, some of it in a hissy fit.
Another special night coming up soon, I knew there had to be a reason for some of the revival and praise choruses I've been preparing lately.
God's got me too ashamed to be ashamed. If you get my drift. And if you do, explain it to me, I'm going to bed before I get a headache...
...does He start to pour out encouragement after encouragement and blessing after blessing?
In some ways, it makes me feel worse.
My feelings about this morning were largely unfounded. It was good actually, a peaceful service and different (thought I wouldn't want it every week)
The moment I walked in, I had someone encouraging me. Then I heard something that was a further, direct encouragement, shared with the congregation...
...then I got another after the service...
...then more when sitting in the canteen...
...uhhh...Boss, please I don't know how much of this I can take. I lost count of the fruit that was popping up after seeds thrown, some of it in a hissy fit.
Another special night coming up soon, I knew there had to be a reason for some of the revival and praise choruses I've been preparing lately.
God's got me too ashamed to be ashamed. If you get my drift. And if you do, explain it to me, I'm going to bed before I get a headache...
Sunday, 1 April 2012
Kicking...
Last night was...
...um...
...well, the worship was really good. Not like running through treacle at all. Far from it. No, it was a fabulous experience and at times I felt like I was soaring, this, I know, is what worship should be like.
But I do have a sense of unease about the whole shebang last night, which in the words of the wise or maybe the cowardly, I won't go into here.
How ungrateful about all this do I sound? I experienced a real miracle this week. God told me I needed to do one last thing yesterday afternoon, and I learned a new chorus which I realised was my testimony for the week. I enjoy learning a new one, once I get into it, me, my mp3 player and the 12-string. I got up, and realised that I was completely healed.
Wow. This really is God In Action. And I really am so so grateful.
A certain someone did recognise that I was a little unsettled today, and he asked me. I said it would take me half an hour or more to explain, some other time I said, or I'll put it in an email.
I am just so confused, maybe I'm tired, maybe all this has left me exhausted again, but again I feel like I'm kicking against the pricks. Maybe I'm wrestling where I don't need to wrestle, I just need to Let.
Anyway. Worship this morning:
Strength Will Rise
O Lord my God (How Great Thou Art)
Light of the World
Purify my Heart
We Bow Down
I felt like I fluffed some of this, it just didn't feel right, or maybe I just wasn't right.
I need to pray into this.
...um...
...well, the worship was really good. Not like running through treacle at all. Far from it. No, it was a fabulous experience and at times I felt like I was soaring, this, I know, is what worship should be like.
But I do have a sense of unease about the whole shebang last night, which in the words of the wise or maybe the cowardly, I won't go into here.
How ungrateful about all this do I sound? I experienced a real miracle this week. God told me I needed to do one last thing yesterday afternoon, and I learned a new chorus which I realised was my testimony for the week. I enjoy learning a new one, once I get into it, me, my mp3 player and the 12-string. I got up, and realised that I was completely healed.
Wow. This really is God In Action. And I really am so so grateful.
A certain someone did recognise that I was a little unsettled today, and he asked me. I said it would take me half an hour or more to explain, some other time I said, or I'll put it in an email.
I am just so confused, maybe I'm tired, maybe all this has left me exhausted again, but again I feel like I'm kicking against the pricks. Maybe I'm wrestling where I don't need to wrestle, I just need to Let.
Anyway. Worship this morning:
Strength Will Rise
O Lord my God (How Great Thou Art)
Light of the World
Purify my Heart
We Bow Down
I felt like I fluffed some of this, it just didn't feel right, or maybe I just wasn't right.
I need to pray into this.
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Humbling
Yesterday, I nearly blogged either a rant or pity party (depending upon whether the painkillers had kicked in).
An Old Enemy visited me Thursday night, and I didn't go to work Friday. Given what's going on in my brain lately, and what is going to happen tonight, I knew this just wasn't co-incidence. No, I'm not being punished. Enemy Action maybe. But God will turn this around.
Nobody expected me to turn up for Bible study, but to me, it was the most natural thing to do because of the state I was in, not in spite of. What a change of attitude that's occurred in me. One of the choruses played last night was Heavenly Armour. Oh man.
I was then prayed for so fervently, for my condition, for tonight, for my playing, I was humbled and shamed. How could I possibly have soured the relationship in my own head? But in a way, there's no harm done to the other half of this partnership, it's like when you have aught against your brother, but your brother doesn't realise it. Then, when you have a change of heart, you thank God that your brother didn't know of your attitude, as a lot of repair work would have to be undertaken. And, if I had blogged yesterday, before Bible study, I would have had to repent of that too. (I may have deleted it, but probably not. Nothing is truly deleted on the web, and it would have served as a reminder of how human I really am.)
I'm taking it easy today, no singing lesson, and maybe only a quick strum later, no serious practice.
There's a chorus that's been niggling in my head lately, called "Servant King". I now know why. And I now know the time is right to play it in church, if not for the cong, but a reminder to me.
An Old Enemy visited me Thursday night, and I didn't go to work Friday. Given what's going on in my brain lately, and what is going to happen tonight, I knew this just wasn't co-incidence. No, I'm not being punished. Enemy Action maybe. But God will turn this around.
Nobody expected me to turn up for Bible study, but to me, it was the most natural thing to do because of the state I was in, not in spite of. What a change of attitude that's occurred in me. One of the choruses played last night was Heavenly Armour. Oh man.
I was then prayed for so fervently, for my condition, for tonight, for my playing, I was humbled and shamed. How could I possibly have soured the relationship in my own head? But in a way, there's no harm done to the other half of this partnership, it's like when you have aught against your brother, but your brother doesn't realise it. Then, when you have a change of heart, you thank God that your brother didn't know of your attitude, as a lot of repair work would have to be undertaken. And, if I had blogged yesterday, before Bible study, I would have had to repent of that too. (I may have deleted it, but probably not. Nothing is truly deleted on the web, and it would have served as a reminder of how human I really am.)
I'm taking it easy today, no singing lesson, and maybe only a quick strum later, no serious practice.
There's a chorus that's been niggling in my head lately, called "Servant King". I now know why. And I now know the time is right to play it in church, if not for the cong, but a reminder to me.
Sunday, 25 March 2012
Back to normal...?
Worship this morning:
Praise is Rising
In Christ Alone
Your Love Looks After me
Overwhelmed by Love
Here I am Waiting (Eagles Wings)
It felt good to be back. The only place I feel 100% right with God is playing my guitar, leading a congregation in worship.
I do have uncertainties I won't go into here. But I am not questioning my calling any more. Last week barely comes to mind, and if it does, I try and dismiss it, knowing that if it ever becomes important, He will give me the conviction to tackle it.
Next Saturday is a special day, an evening of praise, worship and celebration as the church celebrates the first year in the new building. I have chosen some choruses, although I do want to keep things flexible, but it needs an injection of something or other....I know there's my new arrangement, but I want something special for the church, a new introduction for the new year, and I can't find the perfect one. I'll pray into it - maybe He'll put something in my mind to prepare...
Praise is Rising
In Christ Alone
Your Love Looks After me
Overwhelmed by Love
Here I am Waiting (Eagles Wings)
It felt good to be back. The only place I feel 100% right with God is playing my guitar, leading a congregation in worship.
I do have uncertainties I won't go into here. But I am not questioning my calling any more. Last week barely comes to mind, and if it does, I try and dismiss it, knowing that if it ever becomes important, He will give me the conviction to tackle it.
Next Saturday is a special day, an evening of praise, worship and celebration as the church celebrates the first year in the new building. I have chosen some choruses, although I do want to keep things flexible, but it needs an injection of something or other....I know there's my new arrangement, but I want something special for the church, a new introduction for the new year, and I can't find the perfect one. I'll pray into it - maybe He'll put something in my mind to prepare...
Saturday, 4 February 2012
What's your ministry?
Worship leading is, of course, a ministry in itself. But as any leader will tell you, God gives you a sub-ministry, a specialism if you like.
I've observed other worship leaders and Christian songwriters, and they do indeed have a specialism. Where do you find the one for you, you may wonder. Exactly where the other leaders, pastors, elders, missionaries and apostles find theirs. Isaiah 61:
1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. (KJV 1611)
Every Christian is all of that, but think about it, we are all a little bit of God, and mortal, we can't be expected to be everything in full measure. So God gives you an annointing in one particular area.
Brian Doerksen's, for instance, is "bind up the brokenhearted"
Robin Mark's is "proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord"
Matt Redman's, I believe, is "beauty for ashes"
You could add to this, you get my point.
Yesterday, I think God was telling me what mine was. I need confirmation before I state it here, but it was surprising. I had some precious meandGod time in Rhos, sitting in a place where you can see the North Wales coast from Prestatyn to Colwyn Bay, really getting my feelings into perspective...
I'm sorta at a loose end today, no singing lesson, and a stretch of about 8 hours before a Praise Night, glorious anticipation of what is to come. Oh, and I decided I would mention my feelings about it. I decided I had nothing to lose by being honest, and saying it out loud.
I've observed other worship leaders and Christian songwriters, and they do indeed have a specialism. Where do you find the one for you, you may wonder. Exactly where the other leaders, pastors, elders, missionaries and apostles find theirs. Isaiah 61:
1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. (KJV 1611)
Every Christian is all of that, but think about it, we are all a little bit of God, and mortal, we can't be expected to be everything in full measure. So God gives you an annointing in one particular area.
Brian Doerksen's, for instance, is "bind up the brokenhearted"
Robin Mark's is "proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord"
Matt Redman's, I believe, is "beauty for ashes"
You could add to this, you get my point.
Yesterday, I think God was telling me what mine was. I need confirmation before I state it here, but it was surprising. I had some precious meandGod time in Rhos, sitting in a place where you can see the North Wales coast from Prestatyn to Colwyn Bay, really getting my feelings into perspective...
I'm sorta at a loose end today, no singing lesson, and a stretch of about 8 hours before a Praise Night, glorious anticipation of what is to come. Oh, and I decided I would mention my feelings about it. I decided I had nothing to lose by being honest, and saying it out loud.
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