Today was a Good Day.
It was a God Day.
It started with words of encouragement and really good worship in this sorta locum WL activity I've found myself in. Someone pointed out (and liked the fact) that it was made up of old choruses. But, my gosh, when 3 of them have them singing in tongues and you feel like an ocean wave you just know the Spirit is moving.
At the beginning of the proceedings someone reminded me that if it is just one on one, i.e. just me worshipping God - sobeit. Don't worry if not one person is joining in. Worship God. It wasn't until the 3rd verse of the second chorus that I started to settle, and worship.
Oh wow, it felt good today. It's the way worship should be - that I feel topped up, invigorated - and utterly exhausted. But to feel spiritually improved and tired is a good thing, believe me. I feel that I've given God 110%.
My spirit fervently prays that the person I'm "locum"ing for comes back soon. In fact, it would be best for them to be there as soon as possible - for their own spiritual health.
I am so going to enjoy this whilst it lasts though. Thank You. This has all come at exactly the right time.
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Balanced
Yesterday, I got some news that made we weep with joy. What was incredible (or maybe not) was that it was pretty much what I had prayed for - when everyone else seemed to be giving it up for medical treatment, I had prayed there would be no trace and no need for a possible painful and lengthy process.
Through faith - this person is now able to carry on, as normal, with a scar, but this scar is a victory mark - proof of coming through great tribulation.
I would that another quarter had similarly happy news. Instead, it just seems to be getting worse and worse. It is really difficult to know what to pray for.
I'm not leading Sunday. I'm using my prep time looking at and listening to songs I feel He has led me to, for future use. Strangely - they all seem to be on the same theme, so I guess He's trying to tell me something...
Through faith - this person is now able to carry on, as normal, with a scar, but this scar is a victory mark - proof of coming through great tribulation.
I would that another quarter had similarly happy news. Instead, it just seems to be getting worse and worse. It is really difficult to know what to pray for.
I'm not leading Sunday. I'm using my prep time looking at and listening to songs I feel He has led me to, for future use. Strangely - they all seem to be on the same theme, so I guess He's trying to tell me something...
Monday, 16 July 2012
Milestones
I noticed today that yesterday's post was number 150, a milestone of sorts. Interesting that it was also a turning point.
Today I could barely concentrate at work. I'm itching to share my testimony from the weekend with another human that may help me make some sense of it, but of the two likeliest candidates, one's away, the other is sick and may as well be - I'll have to wait until I hear news from one of them that they are approachable but that could be weeks.
Ugh, I sound like a 5-year-old. But I am as excited as one. For I'm sensing a stirring...
Today I ran through some choruses for the weekend and was loving it - compiling worship that will be used, rather than playing purely for self edification - or am I doing a bit of both?
My spirit feels a bit impatient. This might be a good thing, but somehow methinks I have to curb it a little. It beats the melancholia of the last few weeks though.
Today I could barely concentrate at work. I'm itching to share my testimony from the weekend with another human that may help me make some sense of it, but of the two likeliest candidates, one's away, the other is sick and may as well be - I'll have to wait until I hear news from one of them that they are approachable but that could be weeks.
Ugh, I sound like a 5-year-old. But I am as excited as one. For I'm sensing a stirring...
Today I ran through some choruses for the weekend and was loving it - compiling worship that will be used, rather than playing purely for self edification - or am I doing a bit of both?
My spirit feels a bit impatient. This might be a good thing, but somehow methinks I have to curb it a little. It beats the melancholia of the last few weeks though.
Sunday, 20 May 2012
God's timing...and how to listen for it
I had been tieing myself up in knots the last few days, things that had been said that I was brooding on, and I was thinking about one chorus in the lineup which just wasn't fitting. I said to PA man, and the rest of the group, that it was quite likely it would be dropped. I was 99% certain it would be. I was also screaming out for change, for revelation. I properly prepared for this morning, because I thought it was the right thing to do, and not just because we had a guest. The worship progressed gradually, at exactly the right pace, the Spirit telling me to bring it right...back....after the two lively ones:
O Lord Our God (Magnify)
Holy, Holy, God Almighty (Holy is Your Name)
There was the chorus, written off by me. Some words came out of the congregation, and the Spirit was saying: "Play it." Suddenly, it was fitting again. "Play it. But slower than normal."
Come, Now is the Time to Worship
OK, I might get into trouble as praise and worship had gone on longer than usual. So onto:
Into Your Hands (Jesus I Believe)
And, glory, we were singing in tongues at the end. My prepared, servant heart, was leading the congregation into the throne room of God. This is humbling stuff. At one point, I had to make sure my feet were apart so I didn't get "slain"! All my "ears" were listening, for the group, for the cong, for Him, who was taking me through another portion of Boot Camp, I was learning, I was swimming. G2 chord...."Great.....is....the...Lord....", much much much slower than Delirious? tended to play it.
Thank You for Saving Me (Great is the Lord)
I was exhausted at the end. This meant Good Day at the Office. Pondering on it now, I wonder what it would have been like to be part of the cong today. I have to detach myself most of the time, rather than concentrate too hard on the words, else I would be a puddle, and slain, in whatever order.
And the message? Oh yeah. That was about worship. God and His timing. He never did want Come removed from the lineup. He wanted them all. I had absolutely no idea. It's a lesson, and I may have graduated a particular class. I have a lineup ready for a special night in a couple of weeks, and I am not going to change it unless there is a strong feeling, I just completely wussed out last time. Mistake. Doesn't matter how many new ones there are. Just. Play. Them. Listen. Always Listen.
And me, and a certain other significant person learnt a lot of stuff from the speaker today. The message was for both of us as well as the church, and it was a true answer to prayer. There was a hidden admonishment for me within the message too, telling me to hold back, to stand and fight whatever problem is causing issues, before going to others.
Thank You. For setting me apart. For using me. For as long as I have strength I will serve. All I want to do.
O Lord Our God (Magnify)
Holy, Holy, God Almighty (Holy is Your Name)
There was the chorus, written off by me. Some words came out of the congregation, and the Spirit was saying: "Play it." Suddenly, it was fitting again. "Play it. But slower than normal."
Come, Now is the Time to Worship
OK, I might get into trouble as praise and worship had gone on longer than usual. So onto:
Into Your Hands (Jesus I Believe)
And, glory, we were singing in tongues at the end. My prepared, servant heart, was leading the congregation into the throne room of God. This is humbling stuff. At one point, I had to make sure my feet were apart so I didn't get "slain"! All my "ears" were listening, for the group, for the cong, for Him, who was taking me through another portion of Boot Camp, I was learning, I was swimming. G2 chord...."Great.....is....the...Lord....", much much much slower than Delirious? tended to play it.
Thank You for Saving Me (Great is the Lord)
I was exhausted at the end. This meant Good Day at the Office. Pondering on it now, I wonder what it would have been like to be part of the cong today. I have to detach myself most of the time, rather than concentrate too hard on the words, else I would be a puddle, and slain, in whatever order.
And the message? Oh yeah. That was about worship. God and His timing. He never did want Come removed from the lineup. He wanted them all. I had absolutely no idea. It's a lesson, and I may have graduated a particular class. I have a lineup ready for a special night in a couple of weeks, and I am not going to change it unless there is a strong feeling, I just completely wussed out last time. Mistake. Doesn't matter how many new ones there are. Just. Play. Them. Listen. Always Listen.
And me, and a certain other significant person learnt a lot of stuff from the speaker today. The message was for both of us as well as the church, and it was a true answer to prayer. There was a hidden admonishment for me within the message too, telling me to hold back, to stand and fight whatever problem is causing issues, before going to others.
Thank You. For setting me apart. For using me. For as long as I have strength I will serve. All I want to do.
Friday, 13 April 2012
Housekeeping
This week, I think I have worked more WL hours than actual employed working hours (i.e. my day job)
Not at the same time though.
I'm learning new stuff, even making my own arrangements, God has tapped a part of me that I didn't know existed, a miniscule amount of creativity. Gasp.
I've been taking advantage of the renewed motivation by comparing what I know against what the cong potentially know, and vice versa, what I need to do with Musescore, Chord Sheets, Powerpoint etc. It's an outline only, the more technical stuff will come after I've finished organising, I could be a while.
Keeps the brain occupied but, much like cleaning your house from top to bottom, not especially interesting, except when you find a chorus with interesting or motivating words and you wonder whether it may be needed soon....
...there's interesting stuff going on in the Kingdom at the moment, particularly in the area of the world I live in. Slowly, I'm watching things click into place like the solving of a jigsaw puzzle and it's strangely mesmerising. I was somewhat disappointed to learn last night that a regular "awayday" from our church (run by a speaker described as an "apostle" by Bossman) is not going to be held at the normal location, a location that has an incredible annointing. It's a shame, that, when stuff is occurring that the building isn't going to play a part...
But then I had to smile as it sunk in today - the location it will be held is almost like taking over another turf. A new place to wave a flag. A new experience. No-one has exclusivity to it, it can be overcome for 5-6 hours, and a few hours after we finish another group will come in to where we once were...
...perhaps I should stick around, it could be interesting. Anyway, it will be a few months away, and I'm spouting what must sound like gibberish to most. I prefer to be abstract.
Bizarre things going on in my blog stats as well. Any normal bloggers reading experiencing this, rather than the ubiquitous web bots, which I know, like termites, are just itching to nibble at traffic (or lack of, in my case)?
Not at the same time though.
I'm learning new stuff, even making my own arrangements, God has tapped a part of me that I didn't know existed, a miniscule amount of creativity. Gasp.
I've been taking advantage of the renewed motivation by comparing what I know against what the cong potentially know, and vice versa, what I need to do with Musescore, Chord Sheets, Powerpoint etc. It's an outline only, the more technical stuff will come after I've finished organising, I could be a while.
Keeps the brain occupied but, much like cleaning your house from top to bottom, not especially interesting, except when you find a chorus with interesting or motivating words and you wonder whether it may be needed soon....
...there's interesting stuff going on in the Kingdom at the moment, particularly in the area of the world I live in. Slowly, I'm watching things click into place like the solving of a jigsaw puzzle and it's strangely mesmerising. I was somewhat disappointed to learn last night that a regular "awayday" from our church (run by a speaker described as an "apostle" by Bossman) is not going to be held at the normal location, a location that has an incredible annointing. It's a shame, that, when stuff is occurring that the building isn't going to play a part...
But then I had to smile as it sunk in today - the location it will be held is almost like taking over another turf. A new place to wave a flag. A new experience. No-one has exclusivity to it, it can be overcome for 5-6 hours, and a few hours after we finish another group will come in to where we once were...
...perhaps I should stick around, it could be interesting. Anyway, it will be a few months away, and I'm spouting what must sound like gibberish to most. I prefer to be abstract.
Bizarre things going on in my blog stats as well. Any normal bloggers reading experiencing this, rather than the ubiquitous web bots, which I know, like termites, are just itching to nibble at traffic (or lack of, in my case)?
Thursday, 16 February 2012
Wow
Two Wednesdays running, I've fasted, for approx 21 hours each time. First time was water only, second time the very occasional tea/weak coffee, flushed with lots of water. (I got a slight headache just after lunch, really, the experts are right, avoid caffeine when you're fasting. If I hadn't had plenty of water as well, I think it may have been worse)
I don't know why, I just felt, with recent discussions with the pastor, it was the right thing to do in my circumstance.
Then, a little while after lunchtime yesterday, just when I was thinking "why am I fasting at all, shouldn't I have some sort of purpose?" a revelation hit me right in between the eyeballs. It isn't especially new, but it became real.
Do you ever get that? You might become over-familiarised with various passages of scripture, and you become anethetised to them, you know they are true, but they aren't real to you.
The testimony that I will probably share on Sunday, I won't share here. That is because it is linked to my employer, and I don't want to state who they are on the blog (and the testimony will make it obvious who they are, even if I don't say the name) - I don't want to link blog and employer in that way, for various reasons.
I still have a thorn in my flesh, and I got a phone call yesterday with a suggestion of how to alleviate it. I still have concerns for the church's future and my future. I still panic, I'm still overly anal about certain matters, but God said to me very clearly yesterday:
Child, you are Mine.
That's special.
I don't know why, I just felt, with recent discussions with the pastor, it was the right thing to do in my circumstance.
Then, a little while after lunchtime yesterday, just when I was thinking "why am I fasting at all, shouldn't I have some sort of purpose?" a revelation hit me right in between the eyeballs. It isn't especially new, but it became real.
Do you ever get that? You might become over-familiarised with various passages of scripture, and you become anethetised to them, you know they are true, but they aren't real to you.
The testimony that I will probably share on Sunday, I won't share here. That is because it is linked to my employer, and I don't want to state who they are on the blog (and the testimony will make it obvious who they are, even if I don't say the name) - I don't want to link blog and employer in that way, for various reasons.
I still have a thorn in my flesh, and I got a phone call yesterday with a suggestion of how to alleviate it. I still have concerns for the church's future and my future. I still panic, I'm still overly anal about certain matters, but God said to me very clearly yesterday:
Child, you are Mine.
That's special.
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Turned a corner
I can hardly believe its been a week since I last posted. Someone once said a week is a long time in politics, it is actually a long time in normal life, you, and God, can do quite a lot.
I'll get business out of the way first. Worship this morning:
Holy, Holy, God Almighty
Jesus! the name high over all
Light of the World
This is my Desire
I Worship You, Almighty God
It was pure, it was ordered, it felt...natural, it felt the way that every Sunday should feel, and isn't that just perfect? We sung and prayed in tongues for the longest time we have ever done, and lots of people felt encouraged to come up to the front or speak about the visions or testimonies they had.
Some of it was born out of yesterday. Yesterday. The day I turned a corner. The day that, I believe, I went to the next level of worship leading.
The message, from the away day our church had yesterday, was received in different ways by our members, and others - a mixed reception in lots of ways. But the worship. Oh, the worship.
I was on my own, mainly because there wasn't a lot of room where we were. Also, I was asked to keep the worship short. The Spirit, whatever He picked, would have to pack some punch into one or two hymns.
O Lord Our God (We will Magnify)
Take us to the River
Words can't describe it. The Spirit fell, and early. My voice, and my playing, sounded perfect. He guided my thoughts and my fingers. It felt amazing, and even that makes it sound trivial. The words have not been invented to describe it.
A little later, during lunch, I sensed that I would only be playing one for the afternoon session (I was correct). I went through a couple in my head, and wandered back into the room, there was one on my heart in particular, looked at a couple of the others, and it then came to the crunch - it needed announcing, and within 10 seconds, so PA man could get it up on screen, via the PP.
"Oh Lord my God, how great Thou art" I said quietly. I played it in the way that I have received encouraging feedback for - a faster pace than normal, with extra syncopation.
I'm almost in tears, right now, remembering, the reception was In. Cred. I. Ble. The Spirit had picked right.
Thank you God, I feel privileged, really. How could you turn what I was into what I am now? You're turning a dirty cup into a golden chalice. I. Am. Not. Worthy.
I did play a little more, at the end. I felt absolutely exhausted as we trooped out the door. But I know I did a good day's work, and God is pleased with me.
I got more focus. I am starting to get vision, purpose, drive. I am becoming more eager, gaining confidence. I really feel I can play with the big boys now.
..and yet, I know that God hasn't finished. Lord God, what next? An unimaginable adventure.
I'll get business out of the way first. Worship this morning:
Holy, Holy, God Almighty
Jesus! the name high over all
Light of the World
This is my Desire
I Worship You, Almighty God
It was pure, it was ordered, it felt...natural, it felt the way that every Sunday should feel, and isn't that just perfect? We sung and prayed in tongues for the longest time we have ever done, and lots of people felt encouraged to come up to the front or speak about the visions or testimonies they had.
Some of it was born out of yesterday. Yesterday. The day I turned a corner. The day that, I believe, I went to the next level of worship leading.
The message, from the away day our church had yesterday, was received in different ways by our members, and others - a mixed reception in lots of ways. But the worship. Oh, the worship.
I was on my own, mainly because there wasn't a lot of room where we were. Also, I was asked to keep the worship short. The Spirit, whatever He picked, would have to pack some punch into one or two hymns.
O Lord Our God (We will Magnify)
Take us to the River
Words can't describe it. The Spirit fell, and early. My voice, and my playing, sounded perfect. He guided my thoughts and my fingers. It felt amazing, and even that makes it sound trivial. The words have not been invented to describe it.
A little later, during lunch, I sensed that I would only be playing one for the afternoon session (I was correct). I went through a couple in my head, and wandered back into the room, there was one on my heart in particular, looked at a couple of the others, and it then came to the crunch - it needed announcing, and within 10 seconds, so PA man could get it up on screen, via the PP.
"Oh Lord my God, how great Thou art" I said quietly. I played it in the way that I have received encouraging feedback for - a faster pace than normal, with extra syncopation.
I'm almost in tears, right now, remembering, the reception was In. Cred. I. Ble. The Spirit had picked right.
Thank you God, I feel privileged, really. How could you turn what I was into what I am now? You're turning a dirty cup into a golden chalice. I. Am. Not. Worthy.
I did play a little more, at the end. I felt absolutely exhausted as we trooped out the door. But I know I did a good day's work, and God is pleased with me.
I got more focus. I am starting to get vision, purpose, drive. I am becoming more eager, gaining confidence. I really feel I can play with the big boys now.
..and yet, I know that God hasn't finished. Lord God, what next? An unimaginable adventure.
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Memories of an Anglican childhood
My parents weren't practising Christians, but I was educated in an Anglican "Holy Trinity" school. Plenty of memories invoked by the hymns that we had practiced on Thursday night. Just me and the flautist; I had picked 7 hymns, 1 very modern, another less than 50 years old, the rest ancient words of Christmasses past, and I tried to savour the words when I could. Out of the 7, only 1 did not get a turn (Angels from the Realms of Glory), the rest were played either before the service started or after the intros:
Joy Has Dawned
See Him lying on a Bed of Straw (Calypso Carol)
Hark! the herald-angels Sing
O come, All ye faithful
As with Gladness
O Little Town of Bethlehem (the St Louis version, popular with the US, rather than our traditional Forest Green)
It was relaxed, and there was a surprising number of people in our small "chapel" section of the main hall. I was going to be leading worship next Friday, but the church has decided to take a week off from this, so I'm going to enjoy the brief break.
First Christmas leading then. I am really looking forward to leading at Easter. Last Easter was the first time I was part of a worship team, next Easter is likely to be the first time leading, if God wills it.
May all of you out there always remember that, ultimately, it was why He was sent into the world, rather than how, that is the true gift that God wants us to remember, not just at Christmas, but all year round.
Have a blessed Christmas.
Joy Has Dawned
See Him lying on a Bed of Straw (Calypso Carol)
Hark! the herald-angels Sing
O come, All ye faithful
As with Gladness
O Little Town of Bethlehem (the St Louis version, popular with the US, rather than our traditional Forest Green)
It was relaxed, and there was a surprising number of people in our small "chapel" section of the main hall. I was going to be leading worship next Friday, but the church has decided to take a week off from this, so I'm going to enjoy the brief break.
First Christmas leading then. I am really looking forward to leading at Easter. Last Easter was the first time I was part of a worship team, next Easter is likely to be the first time leading, if God wills it.
May all of you out there always remember that, ultimately, it was why He was sent into the world, rather than how, that is the true gift that God wants us to remember, not just at Christmas, but all year round.
Have a blessed Christmas.
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
"Having done all, to stand"
I feel so much better lately. One thing needs more time, patience, perseverance and other words to that effect, but Christ in me has done it. He's Won. I have not given up of my own free will, I have stood, and allowed the Work to carry on, without an act of cowardice on my part.
I don't doubt there will be other slings and arrows coming my way. What do I feel? Stronger as a result, surely. Pleased that I have withstood the little setbacks and have been immunised against anything similar. I haven't backslid. Hallelujah!
Picked up the guitar last night for the first time since Sunday. This week's are well known by the group and congregation, and it is also short, for various reasons. So I got to working on the 27th, which I already had an outline for. I went through them, jigged them around, removed 3, replaced them. Found a perfect partnership on the last two choruses, love it when He gives me that inspiration.
I don't doubt there will be other slings and arrows coming my way. What do I feel? Stronger as a result, surely. Pleased that I have withstood the little setbacks and have been immunised against anything similar. I haven't backslid. Hallelujah!
Picked up the guitar last night for the first time since Sunday. This week's are well known by the group and congregation, and it is also short, for various reasons. So I got to working on the 27th, which I already had an outline for. I went through them, jigged them around, removed 3, replaced them. Found a perfect partnership on the last two choruses, love it when He gives me that inspiration.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Joy overflowing
I've been weary this week, culminating on Thursday night with a request (24 hours notice) to do Friday night worship at Alpha.
It was OK - but I was average. Sacrifice of praise it was not. I was tired and I'm not sure whether I really wanted to be there. The DVD was Gumbel's talk on the church and unity; which was interesting as I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Thought last night that I hadn't blogged in a few days, and perhaps I did have a few things that I wanted to say, but I guess it didn't weigh heavy enough on me to actually start typing. Life, as they say, just got in the way.
What was still at the back of my mind was That Guitar. I'm off work for a week, and the plan was to get Yell.com in front of me Monday morning and phoning round for the Freshman that was nearly invading my dreams. I don't think I've prayed specifically for it, just a deep yearning, a need for something that will help take the worship forward, and be just a little more professional. For those new here, you can read my earlier musings on this by clicking on the "guitar" tags.
I go to Colwyn Bay every Saturday for singing lessons. I was about 20 minutes early, and although I wasn't hoping for much, I tried the music shop just behind the market. (I'd tried there before, they had Freshmans, but not the one I wanted). Just maybe. Just maybe I might see something, or maybe have a chat about him ordering one in, with no pressure to buy it...
...wandered in. Looked around. Guy asked me if there was anything I was looking for in particular. "Yes, a 12-stri-..." - There, on the rack....There She Was. The very Freshman I wanted. Quickly had a strum on it (only 10 minutes to singing at this point) - fell in love straightaway. "Only had this a few days." man said. Of course you had, I thought, because God had made sure it was there for me to find it.
Walking on air to singing lessons. Couldn't concentrate for my excitement. Bought guitar after singing. Came home still circling the clouds. I am so happy, I am praising God for this and the resources that were available for me to buy it.
Am I being totally daft over a piece of wood? I don't really care. I now have a serious instrument, and my poor Epiphone can go into retirement. My joy really is overflowing.
It was OK - but I was average. Sacrifice of praise it was not. I was tired and I'm not sure whether I really wanted to be there. The DVD was Gumbel's talk on the church and unity; which was interesting as I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Thought last night that I hadn't blogged in a few days, and perhaps I did have a few things that I wanted to say, but I guess it didn't weigh heavy enough on me to actually start typing. Life, as they say, just got in the way.
What was still at the back of my mind was That Guitar. I'm off work for a week, and the plan was to get Yell.com in front of me Monday morning and phoning round for the Freshman that was nearly invading my dreams. I don't think I've prayed specifically for it, just a deep yearning, a need for something that will help take the worship forward, and be just a little more professional. For those new here, you can read my earlier musings on this by clicking on the "guitar" tags.
I go to Colwyn Bay every Saturday for singing lessons. I was about 20 minutes early, and although I wasn't hoping for much, I tried the music shop just behind the market. (I'd tried there before, they had Freshmans, but not the one I wanted). Just maybe. Just maybe I might see something, or maybe have a chat about him ordering one in, with no pressure to buy it...
...wandered in. Looked around. Guy asked me if there was anything I was looking for in particular. "Yes, a 12-stri-..." - There, on the rack....There She Was. The very Freshman I wanted. Quickly had a strum on it (only 10 minutes to singing at this point) - fell in love straightaway. "Only had this a few days." man said. Of course you had, I thought, because God had made sure it was there for me to find it.
Walking on air to singing lessons. Couldn't concentrate for my excitement. Bought guitar after singing. Came home still circling the clouds. I am so happy, I am praising God for this and the resources that were available for me to buy it.
Am I being totally daft over a piece of wood? I don't really care. I now have a serious instrument, and my poor Epiphone can go into retirement. My joy really is overflowing.
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