Chapters

Yes, been a while.

Well, the fact is, the blog is meant to be about worship leading, and I haven't been leading worship for a good two months.  It's a chapter in my life that I thought may come to an end.

Yeah, yeah, once a worship leader etc, once God has a purpose planned for you etc etc.

But I recently found you don't have to be at the front of the church to lead worship...

Today, though, I have popped in to say that another chapter may be opening as something intriguing happened yesterday.

I guess I now have to exercise patience.

Drifting (again) or should that be a rolling stone?

Hebrews 10:25 was nagging me last night, so I guess that the Boss was trying to tell me something.  I got the message, I need a good week.

And another new church.

The worship was fab.  I had forgotten just how much I'd missed really good praise and worship, and singing Bless the Lord, 10,000 Reasons at one point, feeling the pentecostal spirit erupting in there, but...

...I had reservations about a few other things, which got me thinking about my future in the churches, and the ones I've been to recently.

In one, the preacher is brilliant, but the worship is scheduled in too much, rather than spontaneous.  Another is friendly, small, but with power, but the worship is too restrained, and certain other things need reining in (it is a baby church, so these messes are cleared up in time).  Another, the worship is free (a bit too free actually) the messages are powerful and stuff is happening....but controlled by a clique within the church and input is not encouraged from others.

If only all the good stuff was in one church building, because a lot of the issues that bother me I don't think I could live with for more than a few weeks.

Yes yes yes I know there is no such thing as a perfect church.  I should go find one that I can be at least 80% happy...

Few people have taken me seriously with an idea I have though, that God doesn't want me to be in any one church building, that I can go round 5 or 6 churches on a sort of rota.  From there I see the whole picture, where there's a prophecy in one fulfilled in another.  (Actually I witnessed such this morning.  And someone said to me how blessed they are by my worship in the outreach group.  Y'see, God knew I needed to hear that.)

I am not forsaking the coming together.  OK, a rolling stone gathereth no WL job, but as I said, this I sense is becoming secondary to my being.

I've never had the travel bug, but going round lots of different churches to see and hear what is happening...to a Christian....honestly...how exciting is that?

For normality, please walk this way...

This morning, I went to the church that could quite possibly become my new home.

I then listened to a testimony - a woman just a couple of years older than me told me her life story in about 5 minutes and completely blew me away with her faith and integrity.  She took a few moments to recognise me; we got baptised on the same day last year.

I then got in contact with my friend, who's made the Final Step today in parting company with the same church I've parted company with - for different reasons (although one of their reasons was one of the kicks I needed)

My old singing tutor has been in touch to recommence the Saturday morning lessons.

Things are settling.  God will trouble the waters and then the ripples eventually desist until the water is as still as a duck pond.

Except - I don't think our spirits, as Christians, ever get that still.

Slow development

This morning went OK - I may have expected more out of it, but I felt comfortable enough, and a couple of them thanked me so I'm fairly happy.

I'm not firing on all cylinders today though, it looks like a nice day and I've been invited round someone's house but I really don't feel up to it.

An old enemy reared its head this morning, and as soon as I felt it, I thought, oh no not again.  Not exactly a thorn in the flesh, more something that I really should get seen to at some point - by a spiritual warrior rather than a doctor.   Haven't felt that way in about 15 months.  It passed, probably because the Spirit is strong in my life, but it is something I don't want to occur too frequently, not with other things being the way they are.

And the news from the other quarters looks increasingly heartbreaking.  I know that there are positive thoughts that can come out of this, that our future does not stop with death, in fact it begins there.  But why, I think, why should there be grief be in the world?  And why should some suffer it keenly, and more than once in their life?  At least I now know why He has asked me to pray for this person so specifically, and fervently.  And I will.

Anyway - I practiced my singing this afternoon despite a churning stomach, and it felt good to concentrate on my voice for a little while, now that singing lessons have a bit of a hiatus.  When leading worship, the focus tends to be on other things rather than my actual voice - it needs special attention once in a while.

First Sunday in 4 weeks tomorrow.

Tunes that stick in your head

You know - everyone gets this.

It is indicative of the "new me" lately that it isn't something like "Merry Christmas Everybody", but "Jesus! the name high over all" that I've been whistling all over the place, in the office and the supermarket.

Well, my spirit is happy at least, but why that particular hymn, I haven't a clue.  We're not doing that one this week, but it is one great bellows buster I love to play and lead.

OK PA Man, guess what I'm going to do as a sound check this week.  :-)

Mama told me there'd be days like this

I don't know if I'm passing through the eye of a hurricane, or whether I have just endured one.  Whichever - I'm calmer, more focussed in the last couple of days.  (Post title is based on Van Morrison song)

The message at last night's Bible Study set off a maelstrom in my brain, and when it settled gave me overwhelming peace.   (A joke the pastor likes to share: "The message was terrible - it made me think.")

One of the key points was that we should aim to be like Nathanael, the Israelite in which there is no guile.  Or, as an actor once described Humphrey Bogart: "He is 100% of what he is, and that's rich."

Exactly what I should aim to be, up there, under a hot light (not a spotlight), playing a guitar, not acting, just directing the worship into the throne room of God.  Ponder that for too long and you could get scared.  Put your fear into God's hands and suddenly the meaning of the choruses become real to you.

I'm early with next week's choruses and hymns, and everything did fall into place (like a flick of a switch) - one pivotal hymn and an old chorus that I knew fit perfectly, and what did the pastor also say last night, after I had picked said chorus?  We should all act and believe we are part of God's family...the chorus that had been put on my heart so suddenly?  Father God I wonder.  Just try and tell me God wasn't in on that.

I made a difficult decision today to not take a music exam this autumn, and take it instead in the spring; tutor was fine with that, I'm going to spend the few months strengthening my voice for maybe a higher level.

It seems fitting I will post more about the testimony around this week's choruses tomorrow, and the pattern that emerged without me even realising it.  God is good.  All the time.  All the time, God is good.

Umm...just one...more...thing...

Make sure you get the melody right.

Just because you're used to singing something one way, doesn't mean it's the right way.

Listen to it on YouTube or the SOF CDs.  Saves embarassment.  :-)