This is based on a viral that is going round social media, I can't remember it precisely, but this will do...
1 + 1 = 3
2 + 2 = 6
3 + 3 = 9
5 + 5 = ?
You may answer 15. I did first time as well.
Actually, the answer is 10.
If you see a bundle of incorrect statements, there is no reason to follow the logic into another conclusion. 5 plus 5 is still 10, even if others say it isn't.
You see?
Showing posts with label experience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label experience. Show all posts
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
10,000 Reasons
I read somewhere that the average person meets 10,000 people in their lifetime - presumably these are individuals with whom we interact in some way - more than a glance and/or a smile, but exchange a handshake or even a few words at least.
How many of those 10,000 influence the way we are, that have shaped our way of thinking, or even quote or talk about, years later?
Out of curiosity today, I went looking for one of those influences - and found that the Lord had taken him earlier this year.
He was an old man, in his nineties at least, and I am somewhat sorry that the last convo I had with him was shortly before his wife died over 10 years ago. But I still talk about him, because he changed the way I thought about deliverance and miracles. No longer can I say "he's still going, as far as I know" because He has decided that he deserves some meandGod time now, until the final day.
I may cry later, as I consider the 18 months where he held the most influence. But, if it weren't for him, I probably would be a completely different person.
Another one of the 10,000 reasons to thank Him for putting the right person in your life at the right time.
How many of those 10,000 influence the way we are, that have shaped our way of thinking, or even quote or talk about, years later?
Out of curiosity today, I went looking for one of those influences - and found that the Lord had taken him earlier this year.
He was an old man, in his nineties at least, and I am somewhat sorry that the last convo I had with him was shortly before his wife died over 10 years ago. But I still talk about him, because he changed the way I thought about deliverance and miracles. No longer can I say "he's still going, as far as I know" because He has decided that he deserves some meandGod time now, until the final day.
I may cry later, as I consider the 18 months where he held the most influence. But, if it weren't for him, I probably would be a completely different person.
Another one of the 10,000 reasons to thank Him for putting the right person in your life at the right time.
Monday, 4 February 2013
Psalm 1
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and
whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. (KJV 1611)
Psalm 1 sets the scene for a wonderful book of poetry, it's a statement of faith.
And I have made a statement of faith, I have now told several people about the "new" church, although I was still not certain, now I am sure - and speaking it out adds power to the words. I want to put down roots. I need to put down roots. It was frivolous to think I could flit about for months.
I went to an evening service - first in ages - to hear a friend speak, in a church I'd been to before but morning only, and - as bittersweet as this is - the format of the service confirmed to me that the church that had been recommended to me, was not for me. I wanted the place that I was starting to call home, despite its foibles.
And of course there's a bit of joy stealing going on, it's almost a given with me nowadays. Still, I have found a quote to add to the list of favourites.
"My main ambition in life is to be on the devil's most wanted list." - Leonard Ravenhill
Puts me in mind of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I wanna be an outlaw.
Psalm 1 sets the scene for a wonderful book of poetry, it's a statement of faith.
And I have made a statement of faith, I have now told several people about the "new" church, although I was still not certain, now I am sure - and speaking it out adds power to the words. I want to put down roots. I need to put down roots. It was frivolous to think I could flit about for months.
I went to an evening service - first in ages - to hear a friend speak, in a church I'd been to before but morning only, and - as bittersweet as this is - the format of the service confirmed to me that the church that had been recommended to me, was not for me. I wanted the place that I was starting to call home, despite its foibles.
And of course there's a bit of joy stealing going on, it's almost a given with me nowadays. Still, I have found a quote to add to the list of favourites.
"My main ambition in life is to be on the devil's most wanted list." - Leonard Ravenhill
Puts me in mind of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I wanna be an outlaw.
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
Repositioning
It occurs to me that when God created the earth there was a whole load of movement and noise.
Can you hear the mountains tremble?
God is shifting people about. A lot of them seem to be Worship Leaders. I sense a pattern forming.
I think there could be a few more surprises, some radical changes as God stirs up the North Wales churches and then....
...a few aftershocks and it will all settle. Everyone will have to get used to the new arrangement, because it's going to be better for everyone.
I may have found my new church, hallelujah. No, I'm unlikely to find a regular WL position there, not yet anyway. The worship is fab and doesn't need me ruining it ( ;) ) - seriously though, they are moving in prophetic gifts and it's this gift that has been stirring my spirit lately as I believe God wants to develop it, shake it up, with plenty of movement and noise. Bring it on.
No, dear reader, I'm not going to become one of those bloggers who believe they're one of the last day witnesses or start preaching out of Revelation or Daniel. I'm talking about recognising God's pattern for the here and now.
There are three other churches that are close to my heart for different reasons, and I may visit them once in a while to get what I need from them, like we all need a little salt and sugar once in a while.
I finally feel ready.
Can you hear the mountains tremble?
God is shifting people about. A lot of them seem to be Worship Leaders. I sense a pattern forming.
I think there could be a few more surprises, some radical changes as God stirs up the North Wales churches and then....
...a few aftershocks and it will all settle. Everyone will have to get used to the new arrangement, because it's going to be better for everyone.
I may have found my new church, hallelujah. No, I'm unlikely to find a regular WL position there, not yet anyway. The worship is fab and doesn't need me ruining it ( ;) ) - seriously though, they are moving in prophetic gifts and it's this gift that has been stirring my spirit lately as I believe God wants to develop it, shake it up, with plenty of movement and noise. Bring it on.
No, dear reader, I'm not going to become one of those bloggers who believe they're one of the last day witnesses or start preaching out of Revelation or Daniel. I'm talking about recognising God's pattern for the here and now.
There are three other churches that are close to my heart for different reasons, and I may visit them once in a while to get what I need from them, like we all need a little salt and sugar once in a while.
I finally feel ready.
Friday, 11 January 2013
Drifting
Yes, I've backed off the last couple of weeks.
Actually, I've backed off a little too much I think, and started doing stuff which is....well not sinful exactly, just somewhat unworthy of me - or should that be worthy of my own self, but not for my Creator?
Whatever - I'm losing it, and I know why this is, I'm not getting regular fellowship with other Christians.
But even that is a wretched excuse. I don't work for a Christian organisation, but it is one that is fair, balanced and respectful (yes, that is a rarity) so it isn't as if work has corrupted me, although I have been very very busy.
I will be seeing a friend on Monday, and it could be the last time I see them in a good few months. This makes me somewhat melancholic...There's email, there's phone calls, but there's nothing like face to face...
...face to face..I can only imagine...
I need to prepare for a worship session next week, and I'm halfway there, but....something is happening in my heart, worship leading is going to become secondary in my relationship with God. Yes, I know that it won't be, never could be, either/or, but there are indications that He doesn't see it as the most important activity He wants me for. And I sense certain tasks are coming to a conclusion, by which time I will, and must, let go.
Actually, I've backed off a little too much I think, and started doing stuff which is....well not sinful exactly, just somewhat unworthy of me - or should that be worthy of my own self, but not for my Creator?
Whatever - I'm losing it, and I know why this is, I'm not getting regular fellowship with other Christians.
But even that is a wretched excuse. I don't work for a Christian organisation, but it is one that is fair, balanced and respectful (yes, that is a rarity) so it isn't as if work has corrupted me, although I have been very very busy.
I will be seeing a friend on Monday, and it could be the last time I see them in a good few months. This makes me somewhat melancholic...There's email, there's phone calls, but there's nothing like face to face...
...face to face..I can only imagine...
I need to prepare for a worship session next week, and I'm halfway there, but....something is happening in my heart, worship leading is going to become secondary in my relationship with God. Yes, I know that it won't be, never could be, either/or, but there are indications that He doesn't see it as the most important activity He wants me for. And I sense certain tasks are coming to a conclusion, by which time I will, and must, let go.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Eventful...
..is a word for 2012, no matter who and where you are, or were.
Everyone that I know seems to have had something happen in their life during 2012 which has been profound, or life changing...
...I have...lots...
I said in church a few months ago, testimonies are wonderful encouragements to baby Christians, but testimonies are in fact living entities. If your testimony isn't living, breathing, screaming, crying, kicking, jumping, glory filled evidence of your walk with Christ, in the word of the wise, yer doin' it wrong.
And He never said it wouldn't be painful.
I've also said I want to burn away all the bad stuff that happened, and leave the refined silver or purified gold...
...but in fact, amongst the rubble is experience, and I've always said how valuable that is.
So. A fond farewell to 2012, not the slamming door that I wanted it to be originally, for given some time to think it over, He is moulding me into what He wants me and He hasn't finished yet, that was just a start. For from what I was, will become something new, and for the first time I'm actually excited about what could be round the corner.
I've also re-read what I wrote on 31 December 2011. What I was referring to in that post was the conviction that God would likely tell me to move on, and 2012 was that testimony.
Yes, testimonies are living entities. And eventful.
Everyone that I know seems to have had something happen in their life during 2012 which has been profound, or life changing...
...I have...lots...
I said in church a few months ago, testimonies are wonderful encouragements to baby Christians, but testimonies are in fact living entities. If your testimony isn't living, breathing, screaming, crying, kicking, jumping, glory filled evidence of your walk with Christ, in the word of the wise, yer doin' it wrong.
And He never said it wouldn't be painful.
I've also said I want to burn away all the bad stuff that happened, and leave the refined silver or purified gold...
...but in fact, amongst the rubble is experience, and I've always said how valuable that is.
So. A fond farewell to 2012, not the slamming door that I wanted it to be originally, for given some time to think it over, He is moulding me into what He wants me and He hasn't finished yet, that was just a start. For from what I was, will become something new, and for the first time I'm actually excited about what could be round the corner.
I've also re-read what I wrote on 31 December 2011. What I was referring to in that post was the conviction that God would likely tell me to move on, and 2012 was that testimony.
Yes, testimonies are living entities. And eventful.
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Lost weekend
The weekend was...
...difficult...
I managed to write down a few things, and it helped. To see some of my woes summarised in childish scrawl is scary in a way, I now need to get some of these points across to others...nicely.
But I suffered dreadful homesickness whilst I was away. Last time, I relaxed for a few hours, I even had constructive prayer and Bible study time. This time round, the area I grew up in held no appeal, and I aborted a day trip after an incident, like a wounded animal I had to get back to my burrow - only my real burrow was a couple of hundred miles away, and I had to make do with a hotel room. And cry out to Him who is able.
I will stick to my promise of going twice a year, but I can't say that's going to be easy. I will plan better next time, do things slightly differently, I will also prepare better and give myself a get-out plan...just in case.
The church service I attended on Sunday was good - but sad at the same time. A congregation of 200 or so, singing very modern hymns (apart from one, nothing we sung was more than 10 years old I think) - but no enthusiasm...no charisma. It's tempting to say it was disappointing, but it wasn't it was educational in some ways. God said to me at the start "Just observe." I did. When I left, I was hopeful that the young church will eventually get some vim, worshipping their Lord in spirit and in truth. The thoughts still come back, parallels popping up in my mind with my own situation...
Although I am not leading worship for the next couple of Sundays at least, I came back to 2 worship leading requests - for one of them the hymns are already chosen, I just have to play them. I might just sing them actually, and not bother dragging along the guitar. The occasion might just better suit voice and organ as it happens.
The other is one of the "locum" tasks, although I have been told (by God) I can't call it that any more. So I'm going to have to find another label. OK, one of the local outreach services for which I happen to be leading worship. But I somehow feel disrespectful to the person who I am filling in for. Still, no chance of forgetting about them - I pray for them every night. In an odd way, they seem to me like a wounded comrade and they are in a field hospital. They barely know me, are not even aware of my prayers, yet if I can be of some comfort, I hope that prayers are enough.
And I'm meeting up with my friends tomorrow, and it could well be a pivotal moment, a period in time which you can point back to and say: I made a change there, and that's where it all began. It will just be good to talk to two sensible Christians, who like and respect me and me them, do not have their heads buried in the sand and have sensible advice to impart rather than saying what they think God would have them say.
But I fervently hope that it is the beginning of a new chapter.
...difficult...
I managed to write down a few things, and it helped. To see some of my woes summarised in childish scrawl is scary in a way, I now need to get some of these points across to others...nicely.
But I suffered dreadful homesickness whilst I was away. Last time, I relaxed for a few hours, I even had constructive prayer and Bible study time. This time round, the area I grew up in held no appeal, and I aborted a day trip after an incident, like a wounded animal I had to get back to my burrow - only my real burrow was a couple of hundred miles away, and I had to make do with a hotel room. And cry out to Him who is able.
I will stick to my promise of going twice a year, but I can't say that's going to be easy. I will plan better next time, do things slightly differently, I will also prepare better and give myself a get-out plan...just in case.
The church service I attended on Sunday was good - but sad at the same time. A congregation of 200 or so, singing very modern hymns (apart from one, nothing we sung was more than 10 years old I think) - but no enthusiasm...no charisma. It's tempting to say it was disappointing, but it wasn't it was educational in some ways. God said to me at the start "Just observe." I did. When I left, I was hopeful that the young church will eventually get some vim, worshipping their Lord in spirit and in truth. The thoughts still come back, parallels popping up in my mind with my own situation...
Although I am not leading worship for the next couple of Sundays at least, I came back to 2 worship leading requests - for one of them the hymns are already chosen, I just have to play them. I might just sing them actually, and not bother dragging along the guitar. The occasion might just better suit voice and organ as it happens.
The other is one of the "locum" tasks, although I have been told (by God) I can't call it that any more. So I'm going to have to find another label. OK, one of the local outreach services for which I happen to be leading worship. But I somehow feel disrespectful to the person who I am filling in for. Still, no chance of forgetting about them - I pray for them every night. In an odd way, they seem to me like a wounded comrade and they are in a field hospital. They barely know me, are not even aware of my prayers, yet if I can be of some comfort, I hope that prayers are enough.
And I'm meeting up with my friends tomorrow, and it could well be a pivotal moment, a period in time which you can point back to and say: I made a change there, and that's where it all began. It will just be good to talk to two sensible Christians, who like and respect me and me them, do not have their heads buried in the sand and have sensible advice to impart rather than saying what they think God would have them say.
But I fervently hope that it is the beginning of a new chapter.
Friday, 28 September 2012
A day in the life
Yesterday is a day for storing up in my heart. It was very very special. I always knew it was going to be - I just didn't totally appreciate my part in it.
It was an event I know that I will be asked to do again, gosh I loved the experience but mate am I tired today. I was asked to lead worship before each of the three sessions, and do one or two choruses after each of the sessions, so 6 in total.
I didn't do all I wanted to do, and one or two of the "rank outsiders" got an outing. I was sorry that there didn't seem to be a place for Fellingham's "There is a day", but I did do "Bless the Lord O My Soul (10,000 reasons)" (I should point out, on the cards even before it turned up on Kingsway this week) - this for the first time for me (and without the thump-thump-thump, promise you it does work without), and also a beautiful worship chorus called "Ruach" - not so well known, but was appreciated.
The cong were so encouraging, loving everything even when it seemed that some choruses weren't as well known as I thought.
I need to get hold of the CD recordings of the speaker because it really wasn't sinking in properly - there were one or two things I picked up on, and I was prayed for after I finished my duties, but it would be good to listen to it all again and let the gospel sink in...and reminisce on the annointing...
Something special has happened, with me, over the last couple months, ever since stuff started going a bit pear shaped in early July. Yesterday, I finally understood how much I had matured, and how important my calling is.
I cried out for some clarity as to my direction yesterday, I didn't seem to get an answer. Maybe I'm just not ready for it. Maybe I need a Word spoken over me that is the starting gun...
I'm going to bask a little, pray a little, get ready for tonight and tomorrow for an event that, for once, I'm not involved in ministry in any way, I can just enjoy the fellowship and food - physical and spiritual top up.
It was an event I know that I will be asked to do again, gosh I loved the experience but mate am I tired today. I was asked to lead worship before each of the three sessions, and do one or two choruses after each of the sessions, so 6 in total.
I didn't do all I wanted to do, and one or two of the "rank outsiders" got an outing. I was sorry that there didn't seem to be a place for Fellingham's "There is a day", but I did do "Bless the Lord O My Soul (10,000 reasons)" (I should point out, on the cards even before it turned up on Kingsway this week) - this for the first time for me (and without the thump-thump-thump, promise you it does work without), and also a beautiful worship chorus called "Ruach" - not so well known, but was appreciated.
The cong were so encouraging, loving everything even when it seemed that some choruses weren't as well known as I thought.
I need to get hold of the CD recordings of the speaker because it really wasn't sinking in properly - there were one or two things I picked up on, and I was prayed for after I finished my duties, but it would be good to listen to it all again and let the gospel sink in...and reminisce on the annointing...
Something special has happened, with me, over the last couple months, ever since stuff started going a bit pear shaped in early July. Yesterday, I finally understood how much I had matured, and how important my calling is.
I cried out for some clarity as to my direction yesterday, I didn't seem to get an answer. Maybe I'm just not ready for it. Maybe I need a Word spoken over me that is the starting gun...
I'm going to bask a little, pray a little, get ready for tonight and tomorrow for an event that, for once, I'm not involved in ministry in any way, I can just enjoy the fellowship and food - physical and spiritual top up.
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Courts of the King
Today was a Good Day.
It was a God Day.
It started with words of encouragement and really good worship in this sorta locum WL activity I've found myself in. Someone pointed out (and liked the fact) that it was made up of old choruses. But, my gosh, when 3 of them have them singing in tongues and you feel like an ocean wave you just know the Spirit is moving.
At the beginning of the proceedings someone reminded me that if it is just one on one, i.e. just me worshipping God - sobeit. Don't worry if not one person is joining in. Worship God. It wasn't until the 3rd verse of the second chorus that I started to settle, and worship.
Oh wow, it felt good today. It's the way worship should be - that I feel topped up, invigorated - and utterly exhausted. But to feel spiritually improved and tired is a good thing, believe me. I feel that I've given God 110%.
My spirit fervently prays that the person I'm "locum"ing for comes back soon. In fact, it would be best for them to be there as soon as possible - for their own spiritual health.
I am so going to enjoy this whilst it lasts though. Thank You. This has all come at exactly the right time.
It was a God Day.
It started with words of encouragement and really good worship in this sorta locum WL activity I've found myself in. Someone pointed out (and liked the fact) that it was made up of old choruses. But, my gosh, when 3 of them have them singing in tongues and you feel like an ocean wave you just know the Spirit is moving.
At the beginning of the proceedings someone reminded me that if it is just one on one, i.e. just me worshipping God - sobeit. Don't worry if not one person is joining in. Worship God. It wasn't until the 3rd verse of the second chorus that I started to settle, and worship.
Oh wow, it felt good today. It's the way worship should be - that I feel topped up, invigorated - and utterly exhausted. But to feel spiritually improved and tired is a good thing, believe me. I feel that I've given God 110%.
My spirit fervently prays that the person I'm "locum"ing for comes back soon. In fact, it would be best for them to be there as soon as possible - for their own spiritual health.
I am so going to enjoy this whilst it lasts though. Thank You. This has all come at exactly the right time.
Friday, 14 September 2012
Careful
Careful...to be full of care, i.e. anxious, worried - looking at the original Greek the word in Php 4:6 is used to state any kind of worry elsewhere in the New Testament, but...
Careful also means cautiousness, or even over-cautiousness, the original word not being too far removed from its common usage today...
soooo....the sentence can also be translated including the words "Be bold"
Be strong. For the Lord thy God is with thee.
Careful also means cautiousness, or even over-cautiousness, the original word not being too far removed from its common usage today...
soooo....the sentence can also be translated including the words "Be bold"
Be strong. For the Lord thy God is with thee.
Thursday, 16 August 2012
Rebellion
I had an email from a friend yesterday, and although it was great to hear from them, they stated something that they were going to do which was in direct conflict in advice from another.
We've all done it of course, and sometimes we admire the chutzpah of those who listen to advice and then just go and do what they want because they are denying themselves if they don't.
There is one problem with the person's rebellion - I know that the person who gave the advice will be very very annoyed. And although it won't harm anyone, at least not physically, there could be a long term effect on the relationship between the two - in fact, it could cause a chain reaction which could be horrifying to watch at worst, but extremely interesting at best.
I had to smile when I read it, but was I really wrong to feel some sort of smug satisfaction about this rebellion, or even admiration? After all, the advice was given in love, not with some sort of power trip.
But - this person, like me, has a choice to make. They are refusing to be enslaved, and want to listen to what God wants instead - bearing in mind that advice can come from God via human voices. But they are now getting sick of "advice", however well-meaning, from a certain quarter and are listening to what is within - a testimony that is bursting to come out or a sail that just has to be raised.
If we don't try, we'll never know if it was His voice. And He is with us in the storm, is our Lighthouse to bring us home to safe harbour.
God probably gets angry with us if we make like Jacob. But He hasn't made us to be sheeple either.
My friend's attitude has just added more confirmation for me. I don't want to stand still anymore.
We've all done it of course, and sometimes we admire the chutzpah of those who listen to advice and then just go and do what they want because they are denying themselves if they don't.
There is one problem with the person's rebellion - I know that the person who gave the advice will be very very annoyed. And although it won't harm anyone, at least not physically, there could be a long term effect on the relationship between the two - in fact, it could cause a chain reaction which could be horrifying to watch at worst, but extremely interesting at best.
I had to smile when I read it, but was I really wrong to feel some sort of smug satisfaction about this rebellion, or even admiration? After all, the advice was given in love, not with some sort of power trip.
But - this person, like me, has a choice to make. They are refusing to be enslaved, and want to listen to what God wants instead - bearing in mind that advice can come from God via human voices. But they are now getting sick of "advice", however well-meaning, from a certain quarter and are listening to what is within - a testimony that is bursting to come out or a sail that just has to be raised.
If we don't try, we'll never know if it was His voice. And He is with us in the storm, is our Lighthouse to bring us home to safe harbour.
God probably gets angry with us if we make like Jacob. But He hasn't made us to be sheeple either.
My friend's attitude has just added more confirmation for me. I don't want to stand still anymore.
Monday, 30 July 2012
Prayer or Perspective?
Or another P word - philosophical.
When my mind and heart quit raging about something, and I realise that it really isn't worth the aggro, I often feel it's my secular self saying to my spiritual self, "Stop being such a drama queen."
She's wrong actually. But she does have a point. I can't do anything about this until Wednesday, and God's timing, impeccable as always, has made sure that I calmed down and had a few prayers said over me first before I even begin to think about doing anything about it, and making sure that any form of temptation is out of the way. I actually put it down to the prayer, not the self admonishment, that my attitude is 100% improved today than from yesterday, and about 200% from last Thursday.
Is it really worth getting uptight over? Actually, a couple of people think it is. It isn't far away from my thoughts, but it has been "filed" in "pending". It may stare at me angrily for a couple of days...but. I will not let it overtake my thoughts. This sure is a personality learning curve.
I now know what I need to say. The rest is up to God. Do I trust Him? Yes. Let's go.
When my mind and heart quit raging about something, and I realise that it really isn't worth the aggro, I often feel it's my secular self saying to my spiritual self, "Stop being such a drama queen."
She's wrong actually. But she does have a point. I can't do anything about this until Wednesday, and God's timing, impeccable as always, has made sure that I calmed down and had a few prayers said over me first before I even begin to think about doing anything about it, and making sure that any form of temptation is out of the way. I actually put it down to the prayer, not the self admonishment, that my attitude is 100% improved today than from yesterday, and about 200% from last Thursday.
Is it really worth getting uptight over? Actually, a couple of people think it is. It isn't far away from my thoughts, but it has been "filed" in "pending". It may stare at me angrily for a couple of days...but. I will not let it overtake my thoughts. This sure is a personality learning curve.
I now know what I need to say. The rest is up to God. Do I trust Him? Yes. Let's go.
Monday, 16 July 2012
Milestones
I noticed today that yesterday's post was number 150, a milestone of sorts. Interesting that it was also a turning point.
Today I could barely concentrate at work. I'm itching to share my testimony from the weekend with another human that may help me make some sense of it, but of the two likeliest candidates, one's away, the other is sick and may as well be - I'll have to wait until I hear news from one of them that they are approachable but that could be weeks.
Ugh, I sound like a 5-year-old. But I am as excited as one. For I'm sensing a stirring...
Today I ran through some choruses for the weekend and was loving it - compiling worship that will be used, rather than playing purely for self edification - or am I doing a bit of both?
My spirit feels a bit impatient. This might be a good thing, but somehow methinks I have to curb it a little. It beats the melancholia of the last few weeks though.
Today I could barely concentrate at work. I'm itching to share my testimony from the weekend with another human that may help me make some sense of it, but of the two likeliest candidates, one's away, the other is sick and may as well be - I'll have to wait until I hear news from one of them that they are approachable but that could be weeks.
Ugh, I sound like a 5-year-old. But I am as excited as one. For I'm sensing a stirring...
Today I ran through some choruses for the weekend and was loving it - compiling worship that will be used, rather than playing purely for self edification - or am I doing a bit of both?
My spirit feels a bit impatient. This might be a good thing, but somehow methinks I have to curb it a little. It beats the melancholia of the last few weeks though.
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Ready?
Yes, Boss, I guess I am.
When I got to church this morning, my whole attitude changed. Nothing much has changed inside, but my spirit just wanted to praise the Lord and listen to the gospel.
Some healing takes time, and I have a few brothers in Christ that need some of that - physical healing, which I know will take time. Some scars take longer to heal, but God has done a bit of work in dry dock and...
Am I ready to raise my sail?
Yes.
When I got to church this morning, my whole attitude changed. Nothing much has changed inside, but my spirit just wanted to praise the Lord and listen to the gospel.
Some healing takes time, and I have a few brothers in Christ that need some of that - physical healing, which I know will take time. Some scars take longer to heal, but God has done a bit of work in dry dock and...
Am I ready to raise my sail?
Yes.
Friday, 6 July 2012
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Yesterday, I had a Bad Day.
Basically, it started with a phone call that got me angry and I lost my temper with the caller. I was very remorseful later, such is the nature of the phone call I cannot call them back to apologise, I'll have to wait for them to call me. But I said I was sorry to God, and I prayed a bit more honesty to Him last night, and today...
...today I was feeling better about things. There is still something there though...what is it that is dragging me down?
I listed all my niggles to God, thinking all these were part of the whole. I've taken to writing down what I feel He is telling me, in the hope that it is a puzzle I have to solve, a treasure hunt. I think it is actually, as I get closer to an answer I try not to feel frustrated. (I have a term I call 'bark through the wire' when I seem to get close to something but don't quite get it. It comes from the character Fiver in the book Watership Down.)
Then, today, whilst watching the tennis (which wasn't doing my blood pressure any good at all, and Sunday will be worse...Fed or Murray, what a choice) I got a phone call...
...seems that there's an important meeting planned next week, not for my church, but for another Christian organisation in the area, and they are without a worship leader. Their normal worship leader is going through some horrible troubles at the moment. In fact, this worship leader was my predecessor... I was astounded, honoured even that I was the first person thought of, are me and the other WL the only WL's in the area? Or am I just doing myself down again? But duty kicked in. I don't know whether I'm ready to lead worship, by my own strength. God has offered this incredible opportunity, I cannot turn it down. My church has backup, it seems this particular setup doesn't.
I was still digesting this overwhelming blessing, and then during Bible study, I finally got the revelation I was waiting for. It isn't all the little things bringing me down. It's the one Big Thing with my predecessor. Am I angry with God? Or confused that such things can happen to such good people? That we have to go through it sometimes, but must that person go through it again (yes, they've been through similar before) ?
And then I remember, he delivers us in, not always from...
And Bible study was all about trials and tribulations and how God wants to refine us. Oh man, even in my darkest hour I still seem to be in tune with what's going on.
I must
Praise Him in everything that's going on, for only then can healing begin
Pray into everything that is troubling me
Pray for His heart and His compassion
I still don't know when I'm going back to Sunday worship, but thankfully the person that is effectively "in charge" over the next few weeks I consider a close friend, and understands me deeply. This helps with the "phasing back in" process (gosh that sounds clinical, I know what I mean)
..and tonight, whilst eating my dinner, God, just to remind me who's in charge, had "When the Music Fades" play on the radio. The anthem of ten thousand times ten thousand and thousand and thousand Worship Leaders. Yes, I wept. And I remembered. Thank You God.
Basically, it started with a phone call that got me angry and I lost my temper with the caller. I was very remorseful later, such is the nature of the phone call I cannot call them back to apologise, I'll have to wait for them to call me. But I said I was sorry to God, and I prayed a bit more honesty to Him last night, and today...
...today I was feeling better about things. There is still something there though...what is it that is dragging me down?
I listed all my niggles to God, thinking all these were part of the whole. I've taken to writing down what I feel He is telling me, in the hope that it is a puzzle I have to solve, a treasure hunt. I think it is actually, as I get closer to an answer I try not to feel frustrated. (I have a term I call 'bark through the wire' when I seem to get close to something but don't quite get it. It comes from the character Fiver in the book Watership Down.)
Then, today, whilst watching the tennis (which wasn't doing my blood pressure any good at all, and Sunday will be worse...Fed or Murray, what a choice) I got a phone call...
...seems that there's an important meeting planned next week, not for my church, but for another Christian organisation in the area, and they are without a worship leader. Their normal worship leader is going through some horrible troubles at the moment. In fact, this worship leader was my predecessor... I was astounded, honoured even that I was the first person thought of, are me and the other WL the only WL's in the area? Or am I just doing myself down again? But duty kicked in. I don't know whether I'm ready to lead worship, by my own strength. God has offered this incredible opportunity, I cannot turn it down. My church has backup, it seems this particular setup doesn't.
I was still digesting this overwhelming blessing, and then during Bible study, I finally got the revelation I was waiting for. It isn't all the little things bringing me down. It's the one Big Thing with my predecessor. Am I angry with God? Or confused that such things can happen to such good people? That we have to go through it sometimes, but must that person go through it again (yes, they've been through similar before) ?
And then I remember, he delivers us in, not always from...
And Bible study was all about trials and tribulations and how God wants to refine us. Oh man, even in my darkest hour I still seem to be in tune with what's going on.
I must
Praise Him in everything that's going on, for only then can healing begin
Pray into everything that is troubling me
Pray for His heart and His compassion
I still don't know when I'm going back to Sunday worship, but thankfully the person that is effectively "in charge" over the next few weeks I consider a close friend, and understands me deeply. This helps with the "phasing back in" process (gosh that sounds clinical, I know what I mean)
..and tonight, whilst eating my dinner, God, just to remind me who's in charge, had "When the Music Fades" play on the radio. The anthem of ten thousand times ten thousand and thousand and thousand Worship Leaders. Yes, I wept. And I remembered. Thank You God.
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Weary ways...
I wouldn't normally post twice in one day, or maybe I'll just hold over the Kingsway download until tomorrow. I saw what it was before I went to work this morning, it is one that I already have (and has been offered by Kingsway for free last year) - but I didn't mind (again) because it is a good one...and it almost made me cry with how God can make even the little things so poignant.
I heard some desperately sad news last night. Firstly, though, I had received an email from a friend, which in turn reminded me of a chorus I'd been meaning to transcribe to Musescore for some time. Whilst I was copying things over, the news came in and the words suddenly held more meaning. After a walk (it was a beautiful evening - I always find it is when very bad news comes in, it's like God knows you need some earthly comfort) I finished it off, put it onto the words file, I just need to scribble the chords on the words sheet and it will be introduced to the church soon, possibly the first week I'm back.
I don't want to go into what the news was, as I just think it is far too personal, even describing it "generally" - it would hold too many clues of who they are and I don't want to publicise anything. It has thrown my fragile emotions off kilter a little, and I am so glad work is busy and I can throw myself into that, but the quiet times...
Needless to say, the news made me think about relationships, the unfairness of the state of the world, God's perfect justice, faith, and, as yesterday, Romans 8:28-29.
Then the song of hope that Kingsway has posted brought the feelings back again. There are lessons here and I must think about them.
I heard some desperately sad news last night. Firstly, though, I had received an email from a friend, which in turn reminded me of a chorus I'd been meaning to transcribe to Musescore for some time. Whilst I was copying things over, the news came in and the words suddenly held more meaning. After a walk (it was a beautiful evening - I always find it is when very bad news comes in, it's like God knows you need some earthly comfort) I finished it off, put it onto the words file, I just need to scribble the chords on the words sheet and it will be introduced to the church soon, possibly the first week I'm back.
I don't want to go into what the news was, as I just think it is far too personal, even describing it "generally" - it would hold too many clues of who they are and I don't want to publicise anything. It has thrown my fragile emotions off kilter a little, and I am so glad work is busy and I can throw myself into that, but the quiet times...
Needless to say, the news made me think about relationships, the unfairness of the state of the world, God's perfect justice, faith, and, as yesterday, Romans 8:28-29.
Then the song of hope that Kingsway has posted brought the feelings back again. There are lessons here and I must think about them.
Monday, 25 June 2012
..and the sun comes out..
Reading some very inspiring Timothy Keller, a sermon he gave on Romans 8:28-29, an oft misinterpreted piece of scripture.
Re-reading yesterday's post, I realised that I made it sound like I would be back worship leading in 3 weeks; not so, I meant to say I will be missing 3 weeks, so will be back in 4. Well, that's Plan A anyway. The Boss could change it.
It seems like a long time, indeed, it is as good as a month.
I was scribbling some notes down yesterday and I thought that the next few weeks could be an exciting journey of discovery, and after I sent an email to a friend regarding all that had happened since Friday night, I felt much more positive.
I don't really care what happens, as long as God is at the centre of it all, whether they be weary ways or golden days, whether WL continues where and how it is now. The sun is out at the moment - it's a good day.
I've got to understand that there are bad days too, and I haven't seen the last of them. But God will turn them around for good - and usually not in the way I want or expect. But it will be the way I need it to be, and I have to remember this.
Re-reading yesterday's post, I realised that I made it sound like I would be back worship leading in 3 weeks; not so, I meant to say I will be missing 3 weeks, so will be back in 4. Well, that's Plan A anyway. The Boss could change it.
It seems like a long time, indeed, it is as good as a month.
I was scribbling some notes down yesterday and I thought that the next few weeks could be an exciting journey of discovery, and after I sent an email to a friend regarding all that had happened since Friday night, I felt much more positive.
I don't really care what happens, as long as God is at the centre of it all, whether they be weary ways or golden days, whether WL continues where and how it is now. The sun is out at the moment - it's a good day.
I've got to understand that there are bad days too, and I haven't seen the last of them. But God will turn them around for good - and usually not in the way I want or expect. But it will be the way I need it to be, and I have to remember this.
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Pause...deep breath...and...
I'm posting a lot lately, it is perhaps that I have a lot to say, or...
I am going through a bit of a hiatus.
The last one I remember was around Christmas, and especially Christmas Day itself. I was enjoying the break; certain issues had been resolved, and although I was (still am) suffering from "Home sickness" I was learning how to cope with it. Towards the end of that day, I was having a chat with Him and I said that I was grateful for the break, thanking Him for bringing me through the attacks from the enemy, and......it's going to get worse, isn't it.
The answer was an emphatic Yes. You can't be in a ministry position and expect it to be clear, green meadows and sunshine. In fact, I've begun to learn the whole shebang is like walking through a minfield in the pouring rain and mud.
It is interesting how quiet it is. I imagine that they are reloading their ammo and it takes some time.
When I said this to someone the other day, he told me to enjoy the break, rest in His presence etc. He is never far from my thoughts, and yet, I feel He should enter my thoughts more often than He does. And then I realise I am by grace in Him and I should not feel guilty - in fact the guilt leads to repentance, and repentance to cleansing...and then no more guilt.
A friend once said in a sermon that they were not interested in enemy tactics, they were more interested in the Word. However, I am by nature apprehensive, nervous. Well, those that know me say I never look nervous, but I think it's because I am more nervous of the journey of A to B rather than what I am going to do if I get to B. If you get my drift. Whenever I go to job interviews, for instance, I worry more about getting there late than the actual interview itself. With worship, I concern myself as to the how rather than the where.
This may be a bit backward, as God is very much in the how.
Each time there is a period of quiet, whether it be long or short, I am finding I am less and less apprehensive of what will happen next. I've said before, never ever ever say to God "What now?" or "I'm bored" because you can be absolutely certain that He will say, "Ah, you want something to do? I've got plenty for you to do..." and you can fill in the blanks. I'm not saying it. I am just getting on with what He requires of me.
So I'm going to enjoy the break. But keeping one eye open.
I am going through a bit of a hiatus.
The last one I remember was around Christmas, and especially Christmas Day itself. I was enjoying the break; certain issues had been resolved, and although I was (still am) suffering from "Home sickness" I was learning how to cope with it. Towards the end of that day, I was having a chat with Him and I said that I was grateful for the break, thanking Him for bringing me through the attacks from the enemy, and......it's going to get worse, isn't it.
The answer was an emphatic Yes. You can't be in a ministry position and expect it to be clear, green meadows and sunshine. In fact, I've begun to learn the whole shebang is like walking through a minfield in the pouring rain and mud.
It is interesting how quiet it is. I imagine that they are reloading their ammo and it takes some time.
When I said this to someone the other day, he told me to enjoy the break, rest in His presence etc. He is never far from my thoughts, and yet, I feel He should enter my thoughts more often than He does. And then I realise I am by grace in Him and I should not feel guilty - in fact the guilt leads to repentance, and repentance to cleansing...and then no more guilt.
A friend once said in a sermon that they were not interested in enemy tactics, they were more interested in the Word. However, I am by nature apprehensive, nervous. Well, those that know me say I never look nervous, but I think it's because I am more nervous of the journey of A to B rather than what I am going to do if I get to B. If you get my drift. Whenever I go to job interviews, for instance, I worry more about getting there late than the actual interview itself. With worship, I concern myself as to the how rather than the where.
This may be a bit backward, as God is very much in the how.
Each time there is a period of quiet, whether it be long or short, I am finding I am less and less apprehensive of what will happen next. I've said before, never ever ever say to God "What now?" or "I'm bored" because you can be absolutely certain that He will say, "Ah, you want something to do? I've got plenty for you to do..." and you can fill in the blanks. I'm not saying it. I am just getting on with what He requires of me.
So I'm going to enjoy the break. But keeping one eye open.
Monday, 21 May 2012
Position of Responsiblity
I'm still somewhat basking in yesterday, my spirit is just so happy, which manifests itself in a big smile on my face. The weather, cheering at last, helps.
I could have mentioned this yesterday, but there was a lot to ponder on. Bossman got an awesome word from someone last week. He had heard, or been in a place where someone got cured of cancer after having hands laid on them. Yes, miracle, yes, awesome, but this isn't an "ordinary" healing (if there is such a thing)
The elders who prayed for the person were Freemasons.
Why? He asked, why when they are on the wrong path, they pray for people and they get healed? The answer came out of James (calling on the Elders for healing etc) - their office gives them the responsiblity and authority to do what they do and miracles happen.
This is incredible if you think about it, and has actually made me feel (a little) less guilty about not getting "right into" worship, or feeling that I am not getting out of it what I would do if I was a member of the cong. The office given me gives me the responsibility and the authority to do what I do - lead people into the throne room of God, regardless of where I might be in Christ. It reminded me again of when I was prayed for last year (on the same day I asked about water baptism and started that chain of events off), the prayer was specific - to be given authority. Amazing how it is now showing itself.
I want to be a lot more than that though. I want to be a worshipper as well as leading worship.
Now - exactly how can I do this without ending up on the floor....? Hmmm...
I could have mentioned this yesterday, but there was a lot to ponder on. Bossman got an awesome word from someone last week. He had heard, or been in a place where someone got cured of cancer after having hands laid on them. Yes, miracle, yes, awesome, but this isn't an "ordinary" healing (if there is such a thing)
The elders who prayed for the person were Freemasons.
Why? He asked, why when they are on the wrong path, they pray for people and they get healed? The answer came out of James (calling on the Elders for healing etc) - their office gives them the responsiblity and authority to do what they do and miracles happen.
This is incredible if you think about it, and has actually made me feel (a little) less guilty about not getting "right into" worship, or feeling that I am not getting out of it what I would do if I was a member of the cong. The office given me gives me the responsibility and the authority to do what I do - lead people into the throne room of God, regardless of where I might be in Christ. It reminded me again of when I was prayed for last year (on the same day I asked about water baptism and started that chain of events off), the prayer was specific - to be given authority. Amazing how it is now showing itself.
I want to be a lot more than that though. I want to be a worshipper as well as leading worship.
Now - exactly how can I do this without ending up on the floor....? Hmmm...
Sunday, 20 May 2012
God's timing...and how to listen for it
I had been tieing myself up in knots the last few days, things that had been said that I was brooding on, and I was thinking about one chorus in the lineup which just wasn't fitting. I said to PA man, and the rest of the group, that it was quite likely it would be dropped. I was 99% certain it would be. I was also screaming out for change, for revelation. I properly prepared for this morning, because I thought it was the right thing to do, and not just because we had a guest. The worship progressed gradually, at exactly the right pace, the Spirit telling me to bring it right...back....after the two lively ones:
O Lord Our God (Magnify)
Holy, Holy, God Almighty (Holy is Your Name)
There was the chorus, written off by me. Some words came out of the congregation, and the Spirit was saying: "Play it." Suddenly, it was fitting again. "Play it. But slower than normal."
Come, Now is the Time to Worship
OK, I might get into trouble as praise and worship had gone on longer than usual. So onto:
Into Your Hands (Jesus I Believe)
And, glory, we were singing in tongues at the end. My prepared, servant heart, was leading the congregation into the throne room of God. This is humbling stuff. At one point, I had to make sure my feet were apart so I didn't get "slain"! All my "ears" were listening, for the group, for the cong, for Him, who was taking me through another portion of Boot Camp, I was learning, I was swimming. G2 chord...."Great.....is....the...Lord....", much much much slower than Delirious? tended to play it.
Thank You for Saving Me (Great is the Lord)
I was exhausted at the end. This meant Good Day at the Office. Pondering on it now, I wonder what it would have been like to be part of the cong today. I have to detach myself most of the time, rather than concentrate too hard on the words, else I would be a puddle, and slain, in whatever order.
And the message? Oh yeah. That was about worship. God and His timing. He never did want Come removed from the lineup. He wanted them all. I had absolutely no idea. It's a lesson, and I may have graduated a particular class. I have a lineup ready for a special night in a couple of weeks, and I am not going to change it unless there is a strong feeling, I just completely wussed out last time. Mistake. Doesn't matter how many new ones there are. Just. Play. Them. Listen. Always Listen.
And me, and a certain other significant person learnt a lot of stuff from the speaker today. The message was for both of us as well as the church, and it was a true answer to prayer. There was a hidden admonishment for me within the message too, telling me to hold back, to stand and fight whatever problem is causing issues, before going to others.
Thank You. For setting me apart. For using me. For as long as I have strength I will serve. All I want to do.
O Lord Our God (Magnify)
Holy, Holy, God Almighty (Holy is Your Name)
There was the chorus, written off by me. Some words came out of the congregation, and the Spirit was saying: "Play it." Suddenly, it was fitting again. "Play it. But slower than normal."
Come, Now is the Time to Worship
OK, I might get into trouble as praise and worship had gone on longer than usual. So onto:
Into Your Hands (Jesus I Believe)
And, glory, we were singing in tongues at the end. My prepared, servant heart, was leading the congregation into the throne room of God. This is humbling stuff. At one point, I had to make sure my feet were apart so I didn't get "slain"! All my "ears" were listening, for the group, for the cong, for Him, who was taking me through another portion of Boot Camp, I was learning, I was swimming. G2 chord...."Great.....is....the...Lord....", much much much slower than Delirious? tended to play it.
Thank You for Saving Me (Great is the Lord)
I was exhausted at the end. This meant Good Day at the Office. Pondering on it now, I wonder what it would have been like to be part of the cong today. I have to detach myself most of the time, rather than concentrate too hard on the words, else I would be a puddle, and slain, in whatever order.
And the message? Oh yeah. That was about worship. God and His timing. He never did want Come removed from the lineup. He wanted them all. I had absolutely no idea. It's a lesson, and I may have graduated a particular class. I have a lineup ready for a special night in a couple of weeks, and I am not going to change it unless there is a strong feeling, I just completely wussed out last time. Mistake. Doesn't matter how many new ones there are. Just. Play. Them. Listen. Always Listen.
And me, and a certain other significant person learnt a lot of stuff from the speaker today. The message was for both of us as well as the church, and it was a true answer to prayer. There was a hidden admonishment for me within the message too, telling me to hold back, to stand and fight whatever problem is causing issues, before going to others.
Thank You. For setting me apart. For using me. For as long as I have strength I will serve. All I want to do.
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