Worship this morning
Jesus, Hope of the Nations
O Lord Our God (Magnify)
I Lift my Hands
You are Beautiful
Thou Art Worthy
And for some reason I had a strong urge to play Your Name, ouch sorry group. I'm back.
The church does seem empty without a couple of leaders, both MIA, one by choice the other not.
It was, however, good to be back. And I'm sorry the weekend's over. Which means it's been a good one.
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Saturday, 21 July 2012
Slow development
This morning went OK - I may have expected more out of it, but I felt comfortable enough, and a couple of them thanked me so I'm fairly happy.
I'm not firing on all cylinders today though, it looks like a nice day and I've been invited round someone's house but I really don't feel up to it.
An old enemy reared its head this morning, and as soon as I felt it, I thought, oh no not again. Not exactly a thorn in the flesh, more something that I really should get seen to at some point - by a spiritual warrior rather than a doctor. Haven't felt that way in about 15 months. It passed, probably because the Spirit is strong in my life, but it is something I don't want to occur too frequently, not with other things being the way they are.
And the news from the other quarters looks increasingly heartbreaking. I know that there are positive thoughts that can come out of this, that our future does not stop with death, in fact it begins there. But why, I think, why should there be grief be in the world? And why should some suffer it keenly, and more than once in their life? At least I now know why He has asked me to pray for this person so specifically, and fervently. And I will.
Anyway - I practiced my singing this afternoon despite a churning stomach, and it felt good to concentrate on my voice for a little while, now that singing lessons have a bit of a hiatus. When leading worship, the focus tends to be on other things rather than my actual voice - it needs special attention once in a while.
First Sunday in 4 weeks tomorrow.
I'm not firing on all cylinders today though, it looks like a nice day and I've been invited round someone's house but I really don't feel up to it.
An old enemy reared its head this morning, and as soon as I felt it, I thought, oh no not again. Not exactly a thorn in the flesh, more something that I really should get seen to at some point - by a spiritual warrior rather than a doctor. Haven't felt that way in about 15 months. It passed, probably because the Spirit is strong in my life, but it is something I don't want to occur too frequently, not with other things being the way they are.
And the news from the other quarters looks increasingly heartbreaking. I know that there are positive thoughts that can come out of this, that our future does not stop with death, in fact it begins there. But why, I think, why should there be grief be in the world? And why should some suffer it keenly, and more than once in their life? At least I now know why He has asked me to pray for this person so specifically, and fervently. And I will.
Anyway - I practiced my singing this afternoon despite a churning stomach, and it felt good to concentrate on my voice for a little while, now that singing lessons have a bit of a hiatus. When leading worship, the focus tends to be on other things rather than my actual voice - it needs special attention once in a while.
First Sunday in 4 weeks tomorrow.
Friday, 20 July 2012
Always on my mind
There are some things that really are totally out of your control and there is no point worrying about them, as they just become a burden.
Practice was good last night, it was good to be back actually, some easy picks made this week which made for a relaxed and joyful session...
...then one of us shared some news that was not good, and sent me into introspection. I'm already praying into the situation (from a specific angle) and there are others I know praying in, and fervently, from other angles. It is serious enough that weak Christians could start to lose faith. Oh yes, it really is that serious.
I was thinking about it before work this morning, that the Resurrection is the ultimate miracle and this is what we should focus on when doubts start to creep in. There were witnesses to the living, walking, talking Christ after death on the Cross - why lie about it, and therefore, why doubt it happened?
I'm praying specifically for two people, at the moment, one is also unwell, but I know that God has too much in store for them to be taken away or even stop. So I'm praying for quick recovery for this one (and for God to speak to them whilst they have the opportunity - they're always zipping around being Martha, and forget to be Mary). I have no doubts. I just worry they have too much self-will, and may forget to take things slowly.
The other is a spouse of one who is seriously unwell and it is this person for whom we had worrying news. I hear statements of faith about them, how a miracle will occur, that they will be healed. I fervently hope they will. Why has God put their spouse so specifically on my heart? I find a prayer for them every night, even when I don't feel like praying or am very tired. In my mind, they stand stark against a bright blue sky, and I'm starting to get visions for them, and last night they were in a dream I had. Why is this? I don't even want to think as to why it could be - I just pray. If I could ask God for what the future holds, I don't think I would, because I'm scared of the answer. And I don't think He would tell me anyway.
This person though - always on my mind. I'm here. I'm praying for you.
Practice was good last night, it was good to be back actually, some easy picks made this week which made for a relaxed and joyful session...
...then one of us shared some news that was not good, and sent me into introspection. I'm already praying into the situation (from a specific angle) and there are others I know praying in, and fervently, from other angles. It is serious enough that weak Christians could start to lose faith. Oh yes, it really is that serious.
I was thinking about it before work this morning, that the Resurrection is the ultimate miracle and this is what we should focus on when doubts start to creep in. There were witnesses to the living, walking, talking Christ after death on the Cross - why lie about it, and therefore, why doubt it happened?
I'm praying specifically for two people, at the moment, one is also unwell, but I know that God has too much in store for them to be taken away or even stop. So I'm praying for quick recovery for this one (and for God to speak to them whilst they have the opportunity - they're always zipping around being Martha, and forget to be Mary). I have no doubts. I just worry they have too much self-will, and may forget to take things slowly.
The other is a spouse of one who is seriously unwell and it is this person for whom we had worrying news. I hear statements of faith about them, how a miracle will occur, that they will be healed. I fervently hope they will. Why has God put their spouse so specifically on my heart? I find a prayer for them every night, even when I don't feel like praying or am very tired. In my mind, they stand stark against a bright blue sky, and I'm starting to get visions for them, and last night they were in a dream I had. Why is this? I don't even want to think as to why it could be - I just pray. If I could ask God for what the future holds, I don't think I would, because I'm scared of the answer. And I don't think He would tell me anyway.
This person though - always on my mind. I'm here. I'm praying for you.
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Kingsway 17th July
Title: There is a Day
First Line: There is a day
Artist: Lou Fellingham
Composer: Nathan Fellingham
Album: Best of Lou Fellingham Live
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: SOF3, Mission Praise, Digital Survivor
My thoughts: It feels like Lou and Nat have been around for ever - the Fellinghams' music was popular and well used in churches when I first started going to the Pentecostals a couple of decades ago. They rarely fail to please, and I have to admit to being ever so slightly blown away by this one (despite it vaguely reminding me of a secular song - and I can't quite put my finger on it...). But I had a couple of further surprises - not only is this one already on my mp3 player; the random shuffle appears not to have hit it yet, (although this one is a better version than the one I have), but also it is a lot older than I thought. It was written in a year which I've coined the Year of the Buried Talent - 2001. In 2001, In Christ Alone was written, and there were some other amazing choruses that were popular in the churches, such as Days of Elijah and My Jesus, My Saviour - hence I think a fair few choruses just got "drowned out" and forgotten, and are found later as lost gems. Am I feeling very very "homesick" lately and this is a chorus that is especially talking to my heart? Live performances also feel very anointed, and it's great when I can "sense" the atmosphere, considering that I'm listening digitally. This is a wonderful freebie to have on the mp3 player, and I suspect it will be there for quite some time, and most definitely considered as a future chorus for my church. Go get it, you will be blessed.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 23rd July inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers. Although this is free, gratis, without charge etc etc, please bear in mind that all rights are still reserved and you need all the usual permissions, and/or a worship song license to record/project/reproduce in church and quite right too. If I state, in the general information shown above, that it is available on the usual CCL licence, it probably is, but the only One you can fully trust is YAHWEH, so for His sake at least, check out my info as it may be duff. Please don't sue me if I've got it wrong. Thanks.
First Line: There is a day
Artist: Lou Fellingham
Composer: Nathan Fellingham
Album: Best of Lou Fellingham Live
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes
Popular sources: SOF3, Mission Praise, Digital Survivor
My thoughts: It feels like Lou and Nat have been around for ever - the Fellinghams' music was popular and well used in churches when I first started going to the Pentecostals a couple of decades ago. They rarely fail to please, and I have to admit to being ever so slightly blown away by this one (despite it vaguely reminding me of a secular song - and I can't quite put my finger on it...). But I had a couple of further surprises - not only is this one already on my mp3 player; the random shuffle appears not to have hit it yet, (although this one is a better version than the one I have), but also it is a lot older than I thought. It was written in a year which I've coined the Year of the Buried Talent - 2001. In 2001, In Christ Alone was written, and there were some other amazing choruses that were popular in the churches, such as Days of Elijah and My Jesus, My Saviour - hence I think a fair few choruses just got "drowned out" and forgotten, and are found later as lost gems. Am I feeling very very "homesick" lately and this is a chorus that is especially talking to my heart? Live performances also feel very anointed, and it's great when I can "sense" the atmosphere, considering that I'm listening digitally. This is a wonderful freebie to have on the mp3 player, and I suspect it will be there for quite some time, and most definitely considered as a future chorus for my church. Go get it, you will be blessed.
This song is available on Kingsway from today until 23rd July inc. To access, you must logon; or register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers. Although this is free, gratis, without charge etc etc, please bear in mind that all rights are still reserved and you need all the usual permissions, and/or a worship song license to record/project/reproduce in church and quite right too. If I state, in the general information shown above, that it is available on the usual CCL licence, it probably is, but the only One you can fully trust is YAHWEH, so for His sake at least, check out my info as it may be duff. Please don't sue me if I've got it wrong. Thanks.
Monday, 16 July 2012
Milestones
I noticed today that yesterday's post was number 150, a milestone of sorts. Interesting that it was also a turning point.
Today I could barely concentrate at work. I'm itching to share my testimony from the weekend with another human that may help me make some sense of it, but of the two likeliest candidates, one's away, the other is sick and may as well be - I'll have to wait until I hear news from one of them that they are approachable but that could be weeks.
Ugh, I sound like a 5-year-old. But I am as excited as one. For I'm sensing a stirring...
Today I ran through some choruses for the weekend and was loving it - compiling worship that will be used, rather than playing purely for self edification - or am I doing a bit of both?
My spirit feels a bit impatient. This might be a good thing, but somehow methinks I have to curb it a little. It beats the melancholia of the last few weeks though.
Today I could barely concentrate at work. I'm itching to share my testimony from the weekend with another human that may help me make some sense of it, but of the two likeliest candidates, one's away, the other is sick and may as well be - I'll have to wait until I hear news from one of them that they are approachable but that could be weeks.
Ugh, I sound like a 5-year-old. But I am as excited as one. For I'm sensing a stirring...
Today I ran through some choruses for the weekend and was loving it - compiling worship that will be used, rather than playing purely for self edification - or am I doing a bit of both?
My spirit feels a bit impatient. This might be a good thing, but somehow methinks I have to curb it a little. It beats the melancholia of the last few weeks though.
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Ready?
Yes, Boss, I guess I am.
When I got to church this morning, my whole attitude changed. Nothing much has changed inside, but my spirit just wanted to praise the Lord and listen to the gospel.
Some healing takes time, and I have a few brothers in Christ that need some of that - physical healing, which I know will take time. Some scars take longer to heal, but God has done a bit of work in dry dock and...
Am I ready to raise my sail?
Yes.
When I got to church this morning, my whole attitude changed. Nothing much has changed inside, but my spirit just wanted to praise the Lord and listen to the gospel.
Some healing takes time, and I have a few brothers in Christ that need some of that - physical healing, which I know will take time. Some scars take longer to heal, but God has done a bit of work in dry dock and...
Am I ready to raise my sail?
Yes.
Saturday, 14 July 2012
James 3:4
Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. (KJV 1611)
James was in the middle of a discussion about taming the tongue, but I caught an analogy in above; we are the ships, life is the fierce winds, and the governor, naturally, is God.
All part of this treasure hunt I'm on.
Today went really well. They've asked if I can do it again sometime, and of course I said I would, but still I wasn't 100% satisfied. Still I'm too hard on myself. And still I have these niggles with the church. Slowly, these concerns are becoming more organised, and each time I lay it before Him, it starts making more and more sense.....and then wonder if He wants me to kick off what I think the churches should be doing - and I wouldn't know where to start. And now I'm worried for us, because we have ended up a little, erm, rudderless lately, with sabbaticals and sicknesses, one of whom I regard as a very close brother in Christ. It is serious but not terminal, it will need some recovery time and I'm not the only one who's going to miss him. The good news is that there are two external pastors willing to make sure we stay standing and don't drift (or at least have an anchor we can borrow).
I was prayed for today to receive more glory, to show myself a carrier of God's glory, for my ministry to expand, for my burdens to be lifted. Oh yes, and for an open door.
I really could do with one right now.
James was in the middle of a discussion about taming the tongue, but I caught an analogy in above; we are the ships, life is the fierce winds, and the governor, naturally, is God.
All part of this treasure hunt I'm on.
Today went really well. They've asked if I can do it again sometime, and of course I said I would, but still I wasn't 100% satisfied. Still I'm too hard on myself. And still I have these niggles with the church. Slowly, these concerns are becoming more organised, and each time I lay it before Him, it starts making more and more sense.....and then wonder if He wants me to kick off what I think the churches should be doing - and I wouldn't know where to start. And now I'm worried for us, because we have ended up a little, erm, rudderless lately, with sabbaticals and sicknesses, one of whom I regard as a very close brother in Christ. It is serious but not terminal, it will need some recovery time and I'm not the only one who's going to miss him. The good news is that there are two external pastors willing to make sure we stay standing and don't drift (or at least have an anchor we can borrow).
I was prayed for today to receive more glory, to show myself a carrier of God's glory, for my ministry to expand, for my burdens to be lifted. Oh yes, and for an open door.
I really could do with one right now.
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