Take me, mould me, use me, fill me

Worship this morning:

Christ the Lord is Risen Today
There is a Redeemer
All Heaven Declares
Abba Father

Some very old ones there, and during prayer my insides started to shake as I felt an uncontrollable urge to play another very old one:

Peace Like a River

Sorry group.  I caught them on the hop, but Praise God for the PowerPoint file.

An excellent Easter message today, anointed and full of expectation...

But the above is only half the story of the weekend.  Today, our triumphant Holy Day, the Day of the Resurrection of our King, my Lord Jesus has also resurrected my heart.

I have been troubled all week, an overwhelming sense of worthlessness and resentment over a number of things that have occurred within my life and the church.  Despite the miracle of last week I was just getting lower and lower....

Friday I was leading worship.  I was completely...competent.  My heart just wasn't in it.  I played.  I sat down.  I was thanked for it.  They were the right choruses, but I was still in a troubled state...

...then towards the end of the meeting (fortunately, after Communion, else I could have been in real trouble) I learned something that got me very very angry with a senior member of the church.  I fought with it, not really being very successful with hiding my resentment, and just barely keeping my mouth shut, else I would have exploded.  I wrestled with it further during the evening and night.

Overnight, I made a decsion:  Easter was to be my last session as WL.  I had had enough.  My attitude alone was wrong, along with my resentments, what place did they have in kingdom ministry?  I knew that I was teetering on the wilderness.  It was, as far as I was concerned, 5 seconds to midnight.  Only an intervening miracle could save me....

Mark 11.  Verses 23-26.  Herein my miracle and also the solution.  Go have it out with the person I have ought, and go tell that Goliath mountain called Resentment to shift.

I did so, and over the course of that afternoon, and evening (there was a Holy Spirit/Revival meeting in another church - I wasn't going to go, but was glad I did.  Maybe more on that another time, but from another angle)   I laid WL on the altar.  Jesus told me to take it back, for His Blood is sufficient.   I forgave the person.  I told them so.  We hugged, reconciled. 

I woke up with a resurrected heart.    I have never felt so good, so motivated, so alive.  I repented of my attitude, and that I even considered giving in.  Never again will I doubt His Will in my life.

Maybe it is just another round in boxing bout.  But Christ has won this victory.

He is risen!  Hallelujah!