Kingsway 29th May

Title: It's a Wonderful Dance
First Line: It's a wonderful dance
Artist: Godfrey Birtill
Composer: Godfrey Birtill
Album: The Wine is Alive
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Cannot confirm
Popular sources: None


My thoughts: I deeply admire Birtill, even if I don't always like what he does.  He's into power praise, the type of praise I would love to develop for myself, and he does it very well.  I find choruses such as Yes and Amen a little annoying, but I found myself bobbing my head a little to this, walking home from work (buses all messed up because of the torch relay) and...Birtill has done it again with a good, strong chant, easy melody, punchy syncopation and succinct words.  Be careful before thinking about reproducing this for use in church, as I am unable to confirm CCL status via the normal routes.  That said, Birtill does not typically treat his choruses as sacrosanct possessions that thou shalt not reproduce elsewhere, so suspect it's just a chorus that is slow to get into the system.

This song is available on Kingsway from today until 5th June inc.  To access, you must register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.  Although this is free, gratis, without charge etc etc, please bear in mind that all rights are still reserved and you need all the usual permissions, and/or a worship song license to record/project/reproduce in church and quite right too. 

Distracted

Yes, I forgot to post yesterday, for the first time in ages.

Worship:

He Brought me into His Banqueting House (request from leader - original "lead" Jesus, Hope of the Nations, ditched)
Jesus! the Name High Over All
All I Once Held Dear
I Sing Praises to Your Name
More Love, More Power

Honestly - I felt I did poorly yesterday, although one person did say to me "nobody noticed" which makes me think either a) my worst is better than I thought b) he's looking through rose-tinted spectacles or c)...

...it wasn't that bad at all, it's just that I've set a bar too high.  He noticed how much the worship had changed over the last few weeks, it is true that something has clicked over and worship has become worship, not just "something we do"

My excuse for my "performance" is that I was distracted.  Later, the distraction made me angry, this morning I am disappointed with myself in allowing the distraction to take hold.  After all, it is a distraction I should be used to, but I guess it's me saying to God "Why are You so slow sorting this out?" and Him saying "You never have let go..."

So I am perhaps being unfair on myself.  It doesn't stop me licking my wounds occasionally..

BC (Before Commitment)

Yesterday, I got a surprise, not an unpleasant one, somewhat pleasing, but made me feel somewhat uncomfortable and maybe a little guilty...

Y'see, in a previous life, before February 2011 when I re-committed myself to Christ, I had fingers in other pies, other stuff occupying the part of my brain that needs constant stimulation.  (If I had been born 30 years later, I would have been diagnosed with ADD and my school would have got a lot of money for me.  But it's just simply I need more to do than most, else I get bored.  Simple as that.  I don't have a particularly high IQ, but when I lack stimulation I get bored, when I get bored I get frustrated, when I get frustrated I start losing self-worth.  My opinion: parents have lost the art of playing with their kids.)

Anyway, yesterday, this previous life came and smacked me on the nose (nicely) with a dedication in a (re-issued) book from a series that I used to absorb almost voraciously.

I am flattered, really.  It was the sort of thing I used to dream about..but now, that dream has been replaced with a real place that I hope to go to one day, permanently, rather than spend split-seconds during particularly spiritual worship.   Yes, worthy dreams now.   Considering that the dedication includes mention of something which I shed a couple of months ago as "not unlawful, but not expedient either"...ahh this could bring on the blushes, and I need to break this to the author, gently.

It wouldn't hurt to reinstate that which I shed.  It wouldn't take over my life as it did prior.  Something else has taken over, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  So maybe I will, and firstly I need to apologise to the author....secular or not, it isn't his fault...

Pause...deep breath...and...

I'm posting a lot lately, it is perhaps that I have a lot to say, or...

I am going through a bit of a hiatus.

The last one I remember was around Christmas, and especially Christmas Day itself.  I was enjoying the break; certain issues had been resolved, and although I was (still am) suffering from "Home sickness" I was learning how to cope with it.  Towards the end of that day, I was having a chat with Him and I said that I was grateful for the break, thanking Him for bringing me through the attacks from the enemy, and......it's going to get worse, isn't it.

The answer was an emphatic Yes.  You can't be in a ministry position and expect it to be clear, green meadows and sunshine.  In fact, I've begun to learn the whole shebang is like walking through a minfield in the pouring rain and mud.

It is interesting how quiet it is.  I imagine that they are reloading their ammo and it takes some time.

When I said this to someone the other day, he told me to enjoy the break, rest in His presence etc.  He is never far from my thoughts, and yet, I feel He should enter my thoughts more often than He does.  And then I realise I am by grace in Him and I should not feel guilty - in fact the guilt leads to repentance, and repentance to cleansing...and then no more guilt.

A friend once said in a sermon that they were not interested in enemy tactics, they were more interested in the Word.  However, I am by nature apprehensive, nervous.  Well, those that know me say I never look nervous, but I think it's because I am more nervous of the journey of A to B rather than what I am going to do if I get to B.  If you get my drift.  Whenever I go to job interviews, for instance, I worry more about getting there late than the actual interview itself.  With worship, I concern myself as to the how rather than the where.

This may be a bit backward, as God is very much in the how.

Each time there is a period of quiet, whether it be long or short, I am finding I am less and less apprehensive of what will happen next.  I've said before, never ever ever say to God "What now?" or "I'm bored" because you can be absolutely certain that He will say, "Ah, you want something to do?  I've got plenty for you to do..." and you can fill in the blanks.  I'm not saying it.  I am just getting on with what He requires of me.

So I'm going to enjoy the break.  But keeping one eye open.

Kingsway 22nd May

Title: All the Poor and Powerless
First Line: All the poor and powerless
Artist: All Sons & Daughters
Composer: Leslie Jordan & David Leonard
Mp3: Yes
Sheet Music: Yes
CCL: Yes.  Not on the latest software update, but I had this confirmed on the website.
Popular sources: None
Previously heard by me/on mp3 player: No

My thoughts: This lot are a new one on me, and probably not surprising, this isn't the sort of music I listen to.  This one is on their album Season One, apparently, but is unlikely to be added to any wishlist of mine.   Still, they have shades of Morcheeba about them, it reminds me quite strongly of "Enjoy the Ride", but I'm not sure what the squeaking is about at the beginning and I found the key jangling-type percussion throughout a bit annoying.  It is very "Yoof-anthem" like, so will probably be appreciated by the 18-25 crowd, but not a relatively old fogey like me.   I hate to write anything off though, so this will be added to the mp3 player (although, few fail to make it that far actually) and unless it comes up on the random shuffle too frequently, I will probably learn to at least appreciate it.

This song is available on Kingsway from today until 28th May inc.  To access, you must register with Kingsway, who in return will add you to their mailing list, but they are not serial spammers.  Although this is free, gratis, without charge etc etc, please bear in mind that all rights are still reserved and you need all the usual permissions, and/or a worship song license to record/project/reproduce in church and quite right too.  If I state, in the general information shown above, that it is available on the usual CCL licence, it probably is, but the only One you can fully trust is YAHWEH, so for His sake at least, check out my info as it may be duff.  Please don't sue me if I've got it wrong.   Thanks.

Position of Responsiblity

I'm still somewhat basking in yesterday, my spirit is just so happy, which manifests itself in a big smile on my face.  The weather, cheering at last, helps.

I could have mentioned this yesterday, but there was a lot to ponder on.  Bossman got an awesome word from someone last week.  He had heard, or been in a place where someone got cured of cancer after having hands laid on them.  Yes, miracle, yes, awesome, but this isn't an "ordinary" healing (if there is such a thing)

The elders who prayed for the person were Freemasons.

Why?  He asked, why when they are on the wrong path, they pray for people and they get healed?  The answer came out of James (calling on the Elders for healing etc) - their office gives them the responsiblity and authority to do what they do and miracles happen.

This is incredible if you think about it, and has actually made me feel (a little) less guilty about not getting "right into" worship, or feeling that I am not getting out of it what I would do if I was a member of the cong.  The office given me gives me the responsibility and the authority to do what I do - lead people into the throne room of God, regardless of where I might be in Christ. It reminded me again of when I was prayed for last year (on the same day I asked about water baptism and started that chain of events off), the prayer was specific - to be given authority.  Amazing how it is now showing itself.

I want to be a lot more than that though.  I want to be a worshipper as well as leading worship.

Now - exactly how can I do this without ending up on the floor....?  Hmmm...

God's timing...and how to listen for it

I had been tieing myself up in knots the last few days, things that had been said that I was brooding on, and I was thinking about one chorus in the lineup which just wasn't fitting.  I said to PA man, and the rest of the group, that it was quite likely it would be dropped.  I was 99% certain it would be.  I was also screaming out for change, for revelation.  I properly prepared for this morning, because I thought it was the right thing to do, and not just because we had a guest.  The worship progressed gradually, at exactly the right pace, the Spirit telling me to bring it right...back....after the two lively ones:

O Lord Our God (Magnify)
Holy, Holy, God Almighty (Holy is Your Name)

There was the chorus, written off by me.  Some words came out of the congregation, and the Spirit was saying: "Play it."  Suddenly, it was fitting again.  "Play it.  But slower than normal."

Come, Now is the Time to Worship

OK, I might get into trouble as praise and worship had gone on longer than usual.  So onto:

Into Your Hands (Jesus I Believe)

And, glory, we were singing in tongues at the end.  My prepared, servant heart, was leading the congregation into the throne room of God.  This is humbling stuff.  At one point, I had to make sure my feet were apart so I didn't get "slain"!  All my "ears" were listening, for the group, for the cong, for Him, who was taking me through another portion of Boot Camp, I was learning, I was swimming.  G2 chord...."Great.....is....the...Lord....", much much much slower than Delirious^? tended to play it.

Thank You for Saving Me (Great is the Lord)

I was exhausted at the end.  This meant Good Day at the Office.  Pondering on it now, I wonder what it would have been like to be part of the cong today.  I have to detach myself most of the time, rather than concentrate too hard on the words, else I would be a puddle, and slain, in whatever order.

And the message?  Oh yeah.  That was about worship.  God and His timing.  He never did want Come removed from the lineup.  He wanted them all.  I had absolutely no idea.  It's a lesson, and I may have graduated a particular class.  I have a lineup ready for a special night in a couple of weeks, and I am not going to change it unless there is a strong feeling, I just completely wussed out last time.  Mistake.  Doesn't matter how many new ones there are.  Just.  Play.  Them.  Listen.  Always Listen.

And me, and a certain other significant person learnt a lot of stuff from the speaker today.  The message was for both of us as well as the church, and it was a true answer to prayer.  There was a hidden admonishment for me within the message too, telling me to hold back, to stand and fight whatever problem is causing issues, before going to others.

Thank You.  For setting me apart.  For using me.  For as long as I have strength I will serve.  All I want to do.