Well it's been over a month since I posted here. Life gets away from me sometimes, and I got to thinking the other day, 2 months gone and has anything happened at all for me this year?
Well, actually, a lot has happened. But it's mostly been work within my heart rather than physical events. Though there has been a few of those also. Like, finding a new church. Finding a new friend within that church. Starting to move in evangelical worship. (who'd have thought, an Anglican Pentecostal like me?) My friend, nearly clear of cancer, praise God for His healing power. Passing anniversaries, some joyful, some I find difficult to ponder on without tears. There are a lot of anniversaries for me at this time of year. Planning a trip to London. Looking forward to trips in June that are work related. Personal health scares are over. And although it is still cold here, watching spring develop and the evenings get longer.
Mostly though, God is changing my attitude in a few things - and giving me strong convictions in others. Several subjects will get me off on a rant I would probably be unable to stop. Unity. Revival. Denominations. Community work and the church. Issues that schism the church such as gay marriage and women bishops.
Some may call me two faced with some of the opinions, which I really don't want to go into (I could write me a book). But I don't really matter. I am just one voice amongst thousands. What matters is - just where is the church going, and why aren't those responsible guiding the vehicle just a little more surely, with purpose and clear directives? And when they do have a clear directive, or a programme that works, why aren't they sharing and/or voicing their successes and failures to help others move on?
Outreach this week. I have a feeling that at the end of the summer that task will be no more. I'm OK with this though I think. I could let go when God requires it, because He will replace it with something else. Something different. Something special. Something awesome.
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Monday, 4 February 2013
Psalm 1
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and
whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. (KJV 1611)
Psalm 1 sets the scene for a wonderful book of poetry, it's a statement of faith.
And I have made a statement of faith, I have now told several people about the "new" church, although I was still not certain, now I am sure - and speaking it out adds power to the words. I want to put down roots. I need to put down roots. It was frivolous to think I could flit about for months.
I went to an evening service - first in ages - to hear a friend speak, in a church I'd been to before but morning only, and - as bittersweet as this is - the format of the service confirmed to me that the church that had been recommended to me, was not for me. I wanted the place that I was starting to call home, despite its foibles.
And of course there's a bit of joy stealing going on, it's almost a given with me nowadays. Still, I have found a quote to add to the list of favourites.
"My main ambition in life is to be on the devil's most wanted list." - Leonard Ravenhill
Puts me in mind of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I wanna be an outlaw.
Psalm 1 sets the scene for a wonderful book of poetry, it's a statement of faith.
And I have made a statement of faith, I have now told several people about the "new" church, although I was still not certain, now I am sure - and speaking it out adds power to the words. I want to put down roots. I need to put down roots. It was frivolous to think I could flit about for months.
I went to an evening service - first in ages - to hear a friend speak, in a church I'd been to before but morning only, and - as bittersweet as this is - the format of the service confirmed to me that the church that had been recommended to me, was not for me. I wanted the place that I was starting to call home, despite its foibles.
And of course there's a bit of joy stealing going on, it's almost a given with me nowadays. Still, I have found a quote to add to the list of favourites.
"My main ambition in life is to be on the devil's most wanted list." - Leonard Ravenhill
Puts me in mind of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I wanna be an outlaw.
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
Repositioning
It occurs to me that when God created the earth there was a whole load of movement and noise.
Can you hear the mountains tremble?
God is shifting people about. A lot of them seem to be Worship Leaders. I sense a pattern forming.
I think there could be a few more surprises, some radical changes as God stirs up the North Wales churches and then....
...a few aftershocks and it will all settle. Everyone will have to get used to the new arrangement, because it's going to be better for everyone.
I may have found my new church, hallelujah. No, I'm unlikely to find a regular WL position there, not yet anyway. The worship is fab and doesn't need me ruining it ( ;) ) - seriously though, they are moving in prophetic gifts and it's this gift that has been stirring my spirit lately as I believe God wants to develop it, shake it up, with plenty of movement and noise. Bring it on.
No, dear reader, I'm not going to become one of those bloggers who believe they're one of the last day witnesses or start preaching out of Revelation or Daniel. I'm talking about recognising God's pattern for the here and now.
There are three other churches that are close to my heart for different reasons, and I may visit them once in a while to get what I need from them, like we all need a little salt and sugar once in a while.
I finally feel ready.
Can you hear the mountains tremble?
God is shifting people about. A lot of them seem to be Worship Leaders. I sense a pattern forming.
I think there could be a few more surprises, some radical changes as God stirs up the North Wales churches and then....
...a few aftershocks and it will all settle. Everyone will have to get used to the new arrangement, because it's going to be better for everyone.
I may have found my new church, hallelujah. No, I'm unlikely to find a regular WL position there, not yet anyway. The worship is fab and doesn't need me ruining it ( ;) ) - seriously though, they are moving in prophetic gifts and it's this gift that has been stirring my spirit lately as I believe God wants to develop it, shake it up, with plenty of movement and noise. Bring it on.
No, dear reader, I'm not going to become one of those bloggers who believe they're one of the last day witnesses or start preaching out of Revelation or Daniel. I'm talking about recognising God's pattern for the here and now.
There are three other churches that are close to my heart for different reasons, and I may visit them once in a while to get what I need from them, like we all need a little salt and sugar once in a while.
I finally feel ready.
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Just Another Boring Old Anglican
Yesterday, the worship was just perfect.
I was nervous at the beginning, and then realised that I hadn't prayed properly, and I knew how it can all go belly up if you don't send up some thanksgiving. I was used to the regular meetings, prayer time being scheduled in, it wasn't yesterday, and I had to quickly send some prayers up whilst the leader put in some intros.
Also not used to being first in the order of the day, so I thought, I'm just going to go for it. Let's aim for Pentecostal.
I stepped back from the mic a few times, let the (very small) cong take charge of the worship whilst I had a small dance myself, not ostentatious, not too undignified, for a verse and a chorus, and then took it back again and the gifts just flowed.
Wonderful. All worship should be that way. I wondered what it would have been like with the group, who I miss, and are getting along without me.
There are indications that I won't be doing this much longer, but after yesterday I can let go. To misquote Elbow, One day like that would see me right for life.
Because there are greater things than these waiting round the corner. There was further confirmation that there are things stirring in my heart that cannot be denied. Oh God give me the courage to see this through.
I was nervous at the beginning, and then realised that I hadn't prayed properly, and I knew how it can all go belly up if you don't send up some thanksgiving. I was used to the regular meetings, prayer time being scheduled in, it wasn't yesterday, and I had to quickly send some prayers up whilst the leader put in some intros.
Also not used to being first in the order of the day, so I thought, I'm just going to go for it. Let's aim for Pentecostal.
I stepped back from the mic a few times, let the (very small) cong take charge of the worship whilst I had a small dance myself, not ostentatious, not too undignified, for a verse and a chorus, and then took it back again and the gifts just flowed.
Wonderful. All worship should be that way. I wondered what it would have been like with the group, who I miss, and are getting along without me.
There are indications that I won't be doing this much longer, but after yesterday I can let go. To misquote Elbow, One day like that would see me right for life.
Because there are greater things than these waiting round the corner. There was further confirmation that there are things stirring in my heart that cannot be denied. Oh God give me the courage to see this through.
Sunday, 13 January 2013
Drifting (again) or should that be a rolling stone?
Hebrews 10:25 was nagging me last night, so I guess that the Boss was trying to tell me something. I got the message, I need a good week.
And another new church.
The worship was fab. I had forgotten just how much I'd missed really good praise and worship, and singing Bless the Lord, 10,000 Reasons at one point, feeling the pentecostal spirit erupting in there, but...
...I had reservations about a few other things, which got me thinking about my future in the churches, and the ones I've been to recently.
In one, the preacher is brilliant, but the worship is scheduled in too much, rather than spontaneous. Another is friendly, small, but with power, but the worship is too restrained, and certain other things need reining in (it is a baby church, so these messes are cleared up in time). Another, the worship is free (a bit too free actually) the messages are powerful and stuff is happening....but controlled by a clique within the church and input is not encouraged from others.
If only all the good stuff was in one church building, because a lot of the issues that bother me I don't think I could live with for more than a few weeks.
Yes yes yes I know there is no such thing as a perfect church. I should go find one that I can be at least 80% happy...
Few people have taken me seriously with an idea I have though, that God doesn't want me to be in any one church building, that I can go round 5 or 6 churches on a sort of rota. From there I see the whole picture, where there's a prophecy in one fulfilled in another. (Actually I witnessed such this morning. And someone said to me how blessed they are by my worship in the outreach group. Y'see, God knew I needed to hear that.)
I am not forsaking the coming together. OK, a rolling stone gathereth no WL job, but as I said, this I sense is becoming secondary to my being.
I've never had the travel bug, but going round lots of different churches to see and hear what is happening...to a Christian....honestly...how exciting is that?
And another new church.
The worship was fab. I had forgotten just how much I'd missed really good praise and worship, and singing Bless the Lord, 10,000 Reasons at one point, feeling the pentecostal spirit erupting in there, but...
...I had reservations about a few other things, which got me thinking about my future in the churches, and the ones I've been to recently.
In one, the preacher is brilliant, but the worship is scheduled in too much, rather than spontaneous. Another is friendly, small, but with power, but the worship is too restrained, and certain other things need reining in (it is a baby church, so these messes are cleared up in time). Another, the worship is free (a bit too free actually) the messages are powerful and stuff is happening....but controlled by a clique within the church and input is not encouraged from others.
If only all the good stuff was in one church building, because a lot of the issues that bother me I don't think I could live with for more than a few weeks.
Yes yes yes I know there is no such thing as a perfect church. I should go find one that I can be at least 80% happy...
Few people have taken me seriously with an idea I have though, that God doesn't want me to be in any one church building, that I can go round 5 or 6 churches on a sort of rota. From there I see the whole picture, where there's a prophecy in one fulfilled in another. (Actually I witnessed such this morning. And someone said to me how blessed they are by my worship in the outreach group. Y'see, God knew I needed to hear that.)
I am not forsaking the coming together. OK, a rolling stone gathereth no WL job, but as I said, this I sense is becoming secondary to my being.
I've never had the travel bug, but going round lots of different churches to see and hear what is happening...to a Christian....honestly...how exciting is that?
Friday, 11 January 2013
Drifting
Yes, I've backed off the last couple of weeks.
Actually, I've backed off a little too much I think, and started doing stuff which is....well not sinful exactly, just somewhat unworthy of me - or should that be worthy of my own self, but not for my Creator?
Whatever - I'm losing it, and I know why this is, I'm not getting regular fellowship with other Christians.
But even that is a wretched excuse. I don't work for a Christian organisation, but it is one that is fair, balanced and respectful (yes, that is a rarity) so it isn't as if work has corrupted me, although I have been very very busy.
I will be seeing a friend on Monday, and it could be the last time I see them in a good few months. This makes me somewhat melancholic...There's email, there's phone calls, but there's nothing like face to face...
...face to face..I can only imagine...
I need to prepare for a worship session next week, and I'm halfway there, but....something is happening in my heart, worship leading is going to become secondary in my relationship with God. Yes, I know that it won't be, never could be, either/or, but there are indications that He doesn't see it as the most important activity He wants me for. And I sense certain tasks are coming to a conclusion, by which time I will, and must, let go.
Actually, I've backed off a little too much I think, and started doing stuff which is....well not sinful exactly, just somewhat unworthy of me - or should that be worthy of my own self, but not for my Creator?
Whatever - I'm losing it, and I know why this is, I'm not getting regular fellowship with other Christians.
But even that is a wretched excuse. I don't work for a Christian organisation, but it is one that is fair, balanced and respectful (yes, that is a rarity) so it isn't as if work has corrupted me, although I have been very very busy.
I will be seeing a friend on Monday, and it could be the last time I see them in a good few months. This makes me somewhat melancholic...There's email, there's phone calls, but there's nothing like face to face...
...face to face..I can only imagine...
I need to prepare for a worship session next week, and I'm halfway there, but....something is happening in my heart, worship leading is going to become secondary in my relationship with God. Yes, I know that it won't be, never could be, either/or, but there are indications that He doesn't see it as the most important activity He wants me for. And I sense certain tasks are coming to a conclusion, by which time I will, and must, let go.
Monday, 31 December 2012
Eventful...
..is a word for 2012, no matter who and where you are, or were.
Everyone that I know seems to have had something happen in their life during 2012 which has been profound, or life changing...
...I have...lots...
I said in church a few months ago, testimonies are wonderful encouragements to baby Christians, but testimonies are in fact living entities. If your testimony isn't living, breathing, screaming, crying, kicking, jumping, glory filled evidence of your walk with Christ, in the word of the wise, yer doin' it wrong.
And He never said it wouldn't be painful.
I've also said I want to burn away all the bad stuff that happened, and leave the refined silver or purified gold...
...but in fact, amongst the rubble is experience, and I've always said how valuable that is.
So. A fond farewell to 2012, not the slamming door that I wanted it to be originally, for given some time to think it over, He is moulding me into what He wants me and He hasn't finished yet, that was just a start. For from what I was, will become something new, and for the first time I'm actually excited about what could be round the corner.
I've also re-read what I wrote on 31 December 2011. What I was referring to in that post was the conviction that God would likely tell me to move on, and 2012 was that testimony.
Yes, testimonies are living entities. And eventful.
Everyone that I know seems to have had something happen in their life during 2012 which has been profound, or life changing...
...I have...lots...
I said in church a few months ago, testimonies are wonderful encouragements to baby Christians, but testimonies are in fact living entities. If your testimony isn't living, breathing, screaming, crying, kicking, jumping, glory filled evidence of your walk with Christ, in the word of the wise, yer doin' it wrong.
And He never said it wouldn't be painful.
I've also said I want to burn away all the bad stuff that happened, and leave the refined silver or purified gold...
...but in fact, amongst the rubble is experience, and I've always said how valuable that is.
So. A fond farewell to 2012, not the slamming door that I wanted it to be originally, for given some time to think it over, He is moulding me into what He wants me and He hasn't finished yet, that was just a start. For from what I was, will become something new, and for the first time I'm actually excited about what could be round the corner.
I've also re-read what I wrote on 31 December 2011. What I was referring to in that post was the conviction that God would likely tell me to move on, and 2012 was that testimony.
Yes, testimonies are living entities. And eventful.
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