I felt weird last night. It was like I had been stressed for so long, with so many worries that have completely dissapated, that I felt somewhat....lost...the coiled spring has relaxed making me think...what now?
I read a little Ezekiel, and then a little of "Make Love, Make War" by Brian Doerksen, the latter of which I am taking my time reading; I inhale books usually, I can easily get through 2-3 75,000 word books a week, but Doerksen's book is such an inspiration and he discusses so many points that I have to sit, think and meditate on them for a while. No book, other than the Bible, has really done this for me before. I don't know many of the songs he discusses, but it doesn't matter, this guy is on my wavelength when it comes to "pure" worship straight out of 2 Chron 20.
Despite my strange state, something special was happening last night. I had been playing with Musescore earlier and I was playing around with a simple melody. In bed last night, a chorus was added to it. I wonder now whether it is another chorus I've heard, or truly a new song to the Lord. I even have some words to it. Is God calling me to write a song, when ones I've written in the past have been tuneless, with cliched words? Then again, the Spirit wasn't living in me then. Well, we'll see. It might just be self edification, but at least it is a project that I can ponder on whilst everything else in my life is quiet.
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