Focus

Today should be a day of reflection, but I haven't really done any of that today.  I have actually reflected on the last year for some weeks, I am not the person I was 12 months ago.

No, instead, I've been doing lots of normal stuff, and daft stuff, trying to take my mind off a thorn in the flesh.  One that I've had for 7-8 weeks now, and yes, I've asked Him to take it away.  Several times.  And I will keep asking.  It's something that should go away on its own - eventually - but I wonder how much longer I have to endure this.  I wonder if I'll be ready for anything that's chucked at me when it is all over.  And I like to hope there will be a mighty testimony at the end of it.

Also, as is probably pretty normal, I'm looking to the future.  I believe God has asked something of me - and I'm unsure if I can do it.  In fact, it was pretty distressing.  When it is something that can affect a few people, you should really get confirmation, so I said, OK, if someone confirms it to me, I will do it....or if I feel brave enough I'll do it anyway.  Something tells me that God will force my hand if I don't.  If it is Him that's asking.

The old me would probably be climbing the walls at this point.  I'm just trying to trust.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Be all else but naught to me, save that Thou art
Be Thou my best thought by the day or the night
Both waking and sleeping, Thy presence my light

Happy New Year, wherever you are.