Changes

When you are "growing up" you don't feel it, but you do change, little by little, every day, until one day you have a revelation that you have "grown up" but don't actually feel it.

Maybe it is similar with the walk in Christ.  You change, little by little, not noticing, until you realise, I'm changed from the person I was a year ago. 

The changes up to now have been mental, what Paul called "renewing of minds", what some translations have as "changing the way you think", both good translations, but it doesn't describe the fact that certain areas of your life were ashes - and Jesus has changed them to beauty.

Such is the way with me at the moment.  Yes, I recognise change in me.  This has come through time and obedience.  No immediate changes made at time of said obedience (although I have had some wonderful revelations) just a realisation that hey - I don't feel like that any more.  And then your output changes and the really special stuff begins.

I may have said earlier in the blog, I can't remember, that someone said, or I read (Doerksen more than likely) that God will require at least 1 song off any worship leader, one of their own.  Well, it's early days with that, although I have the framework of one, past experience tells me I may not have much talent for songwriting.  But what came to mind recently is I am quite good at adapting songs into given situations.  Speeding them up, slowing them down, merging, drifting, and there are even early signs of improvisation...

During the last few days I produced a new adaptation of a chorus that is about 10 years old.  I removed the bridge, added an intro, reprised the intro as a sort of bridge and changed the ending.  It is still the guy's song, for all intents and purposes, but it has ended up shared and I offered it up in practice last night.  I think that said worship leader/songwriter (who is pretty famous in the Christian world and very prolific still) would approve.

Play it solo.  Was the overwhelming and highly surprising response from the group.  You might think that sounds like they didn't like it.  No, far from it.  They loved it, so much so that they wanted to give it a more special position in the night I plan to play it.  And they want me to teach them the arrangement.

This blessing, which I feel is more than I deserve, has got me a bit awestruck, and is beginning to give me confidence in trying more.  Today I said to God that I want more, whatever you need to do in me, do it.  Dangerous prayer, but I mean it.  Never meant it more.  And I never thought I'd change as much to say that.