Humbling

Yesterday, I nearly blogged either a rant or pity party (depending upon whether the painkillers had kicked in).

An Old Enemy visited me Thursday night, and I didn't go to work Friday.  Given what's going on in my brain lately, and what is going to happen tonight, I knew this just wasn't co-incidence.  No, I'm not being punished.  Enemy Action maybe.  But God will turn this around.

Nobody expected me to turn up for Bible study, but to me, it was the most natural thing to do because of the state I was in, not in spite of.  What a change of attitude that's occurred in me.  One of the choruses played last night was Heavenly Armour.  Oh man.

I was then prayed for so fervently, for my condition, for tonight, for my playing, I was humbled and shamed.  How could I possibly have soured the relationship in my own head?  But in a way, there's no harm done to the other half of this partnership, it's like when you have aught against your brother, but your brother doesn't realise it.  Then, when you have a change of heart, you thank God that your brother didn't know of your attitude, as a lot of repair work would have to be undertaken.  And, if I had blogged yesterday, before Bible study, I would have had to repent of that too.  (I may have deleted it, but probably not.  Nothing is truly deleted on the web, and it would have served as a reminder of how human I really am.)

I'm taking it easy today, no singing lesson, and maybe only a quick strum later, no serious practice.

There's a chorus that's been niggling in my head lately, called "Servant King".  I now know why.  And I now know the time is right to play it in church, if not for the cong, but a reminder to me.