Courage

I drafted a post on Monday, going into further detail of what happened to me on Sunday.  I decided not to post it.  It felt just too personal somehow, but lets just say that God is calling me to mature to another level.

I saw a friend on Wednesday and told them all about it, it was difficult to sort out all my emotions about talking to them - it's been a couple of months since I last saw them...

...and I hope that I will see them again....something at the back of my mind I can't ignore.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I gathered some choruses together for this week's outreach.  On face value the structure is quite un-Christmassy, but in fact there is a father-son theme going through which is quite appropriate.  No carols though.

I then lost courage with 3 of them and replaced them.

God then put one of the dropped on my heart so strongly that I feel that He has pretty much commanded me to teach it to the congregation, and to make sure I do.  (It is very new, written this year and was a Kingsway offering a little while back.  I was thinking about teaching them after the message had ended, during ministry)  1st one replaced.

As I often do, I played them through last night.  The first one is all wrong.  I love it, but it just doesn't fit.  The 4th one, ditto.  The 2nd of the 3 was replaced.  When building the PP, I replaced the 1st with a lively chorus/hymn that fits much better, and one that was seemingly an immovable chorus was replaced and I didn't even know it was a problem until then.

And, finally, the 3rd one I lost courage with was put back, God is telling me to go out on a limb.  The original structure is back, with one replaced.  So I figure, if I'm the only one praising God tomorrow, sobeit.  The Boss has spoken.  Still no carols.

For all sorts of reasons, this might be the last time I lead worship at this group's outreach.  It could all fall flat or could be brilliant.  But I know that God thinks I'm fab whatever.  And that's what counts.