Endurance

The other day I shared a car with another Christian - unexpectedly, I didn't realise that he was a churchgoer.  It was wonderful to talk about my faith, belief, knowledge in an intelligent way with someone outside my church.  I was having a Good Week.

The other night, I had a dream, I dream most nights.

I'm not going to turn this into a dream blog.  I actually agree with most people; there is nothing more boring than reading other people's dreams, because, frankly, there's nothing you can really add or take away from them.  Some dreams are significant, I've had a few of those, they sort out stuff in your head.

But - basically - dreams are mixed up ideas of the subconcious.  Sometimes dreams can help you look subjectively at your problems.  Sometimes, God speaks through them.   If your spirit is with His Spirit part of His Plan can be revealed through them.   But, mostly, they reflect your mental health.

It was a typical mixed up and confusing dream.  I won't state details.  But it was linked to my thoughts about Saturday night.  In the dream I said to someone that I was absolutely petrified (with nerves).  It's true.  I am.  But I daren't think about it.

After a pretty good practice last night, there was another incident that upset me..hugely.  I shrugged it off initially, not wanting my friend to see how it has affected me, when I got home, I broke down.  I gritted my teeth, pouring out honesty to God in how I felt about the person who hurt me, stopping short of naughty words, but praying for them also.

But my mental health over the matter is not good.   It is good that I am taking a couple of weeks out soon.  But in prayer I admitted that it may be difficult for me to return.  I feel like my heart is being whipped.  It will be difficult to come back for more, for He never said it was going to be easy.

I want to talk to my friends again, but they are having their own issues in life, and after the warning shot from God to speak to Him about such matters more often, I'm even more reticent.  Don't really know what to do.

Looking forward to 25th, because I know that he wants me to give those 10 odd days (maybe longer) to Him.

Why did the week get soured in such a way, and how can I get myself on track?