Preparation

A pretty important shindig tomorrow at which I will be leading worship alone - probably 3 short sessions throughout the day.

It's difficult to sort out how I feel about it - I've been looking forward to it for months, but I now seem to be suffering a mixture of stress, nerves, uncertainty and excitement.  Someone should make up a word for such a mix.

I was getting close to panic at the weekend when I realised that 8 or 9 of the songs chosen I had never led before, and 5 or 6 of those I only knew a little.  They have been born out of a couple of months of activity with Musescore and the like, searching for new stuff and recollecting old.  Then, the other day, after a deep breath and a prayer or two, I removed 3 or 4 of them, added 3 or 4 I know standing on my head (but I won't try that tomorrow - maybe next year) and He came up with an awesome mix that almost had me slain in the bedroom where I was practicing.  How does He do that?

2 of them at least I am new to leading, as I am on my own, this doesn't matter, I can let the cong help me a little.  But they will be introduced into Sunday worship soon.  Then there's one we did last Sunday which I have an inkling the speaker will want repeated.  And another which I think has so much anointing it sizzles.  This is the "excitement" part.  If I say to the boss I'm nervous - he'll say "Good." - no help there!  He believes that nerves help you give way to the true Boss of the day and I think he's right there.

Uncertainty?  Well, this is an old enemy which I can't seem to shake, and I know I'll be back blogging here on Friday, Saturday or Sunday (busy weekend) saying that He had it under control.  I don't need to worry about how I "perform".  It isn't a performance.  It's a duty.  The uncertainty will go when I strike the first chord (an F as it happens, 3rd fret CAPO D...)

Stress?  A wise man once said that life is fragile, handle with prayer.  That doesn't mean I'm going to sleep tonight though.

I'm sad that a certain couple of friends can't be there, but happy that the sun is shining brightly after a couple of months of clouds.  Which I really can't say for North Wales at the moment, I think we'll be dragging out the liferafts.  At least the flooding is under control around my area, though I saw some shocking pictures last night.

I'm pretty much set.  One practice session then I'm ready.  Then pick the Sunday choruses.  Then maybe the following Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Then nothing for about 3 weeks (maybe one, but low stress level), that is going to be ODD.  I hope I don't waste this time of R&R and get a few things sorted, not only in my life, but also in my heart.