Rest

I didn't go to church today, I stayed at home, a couple of chores, breakfast and fellowship with my SOH.

September will be a very busy month.  I will be doing at least 7 WL sessions, maybe as many as 9; Friday nights, a Thursday day time, Saturdays and Sundays.  I think there's one week when it's all four in a row... It takes my mind off other things and stops the brooding.  I keep myself busy researching "new" songs in my SOFs and Source.

I needed the company of other Christians Friday night, just hours after the announcement.  Needless to say there were prayers and talk about how miracles still happen and how this should be a celebration and...

...hang on.

Someone started praying for the spouse and I could almost predict, word for word, what they were going to pray.  I was almost shaking my head...hackneyed phrases, quoting scripture, saying what you think God needs you to say, trying to behave in the way that the Bible tells you to when someone dies - cry? - you gotta be kidding...

...Jesus wept...He needed to feel that grief, else how could anyone who was ever bereaved ever connect?

We are human, not robots.  I get annoyed with ex-church goers who say "I used to go, but I can't believe in a God who took my...(insert relative/friend here)".  I get just as annoyed with people who say things like "well s/he's gone to a better place and we should be celebrating.."

...it doesn't help those left behind.  In fact, the word tells us to mourn with those who mourn.  The full works.  Sackcloth and ashes and copious tears if necessary.

You may be thinking, hang on Fi, you're totally contradicting what you said the other day, death isn't an ending yahdeyahdeyahda.  No, it isn't, not for the person who dies.  It can feel that way for the people close to them and the years of waiting until they can rejoin them...

Let's be real.  Mary, in her anguish, said "Lord if You'd have been here, my brother wouldn't have died."  She wasn't saying that he'd gone to a better place and talking of peace that passeth all understanding - she was doing the equivalent of screaming at God - "WHY?" and "How can I cope without them?"

The Bible also tells us to help widows in their affliction.  I hope that I pray the right things, and if I see them soon, say the right stuff, and above all....be real.