I'm posting a lot lately, it is perhaps that I have a lot to say, or...
I am going through a bit of a hiatus.
The last one I remember was around Christmas, and especially Christmas Day itself. I was enjoying the break; certain issues had been resolved, and although I was (still am) suffering from "Home sickness" I was learning how to cope with it. Towards the end of that day, I was having a chat with Him and I said that I was grateful for the break, thanking Him for bringing me through the attacks from the enemy, and......it's going to get worse, isn't it.
The answer was an emphatic Yes. You can't be in a ministry position and expect it to be clear, green meadows and sunshine. In fact, I've begun to learn the whole shebang is like walking through a minfield in the pouring rain and mud.
It is interesting how quiet it is. I imagine that they are reloading their ammo and it takes some time.
When I said this to someone the other day, he told me to enjoy the break, rest in His presence etc. He is never far from my thoughts, and yet, I feel He should enter my thoughts more often than He does. And then I realise I am by grace in Him and I should not feel guilty - in fact the guilt leads to repentance, and repentance to cleansing...and then no more guilt.
A friend once said in a sermon that they were not interested in enemy tactics, they were more interested in the Word. However, I am by nature apprehensive, nervous. Well, those that know me say I never look nervous, but I think it's because I am more nervous of the journey of A to B rather than what I am going to do if I get to B. If you get my drift. Whenever I go to job interviews, for instance, I worry more about getting there late than the actual interview itself. With worship, I concern myself as to the how rather than the where.
This may be a bit backward, as God is very much in the how.
Each time there is a period of quiet, whether it be long or short, I am finding I am less and less apprehensive of what will happen next. I've said before, never ever ever say to God "What now?" or "I'm bored" because you can be absolutely certain that He will say, "Ah, you want something to do? I've got plenty for you to do..." and you can fill in the blanks. I'm not saying it. I am just getting on with what He requires of me.
So I'm going to enjoy the break. But keeping one eye open.
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